(Minghui.org) When I went home at lunchtime, my heart was moved when I saw my husband's skinny figure. He is also a practitioner and is suffering from sickness karma. I tried to think of ways to help him, but I could only think of ordinary methods.
I returned to work after lunch and did not want to do anything. I was still thinking about my husband. I then realized that I did not deeply believe in Master! I continued to think: Was Master truly taking care of me? Was Master really that great and powerful? Why should I believe in Master?
I also realized that whenever I faced a cultivation challenge, my first thought was a human notion, and then I thought of Master. The reason I could not pass some tests and why other tests dragged on was because I did not believe in Master and his power. I have cultivated for many years, but I have not seen anything in other dimensions. I have not met Master personally. Why should I believe in Master? When I had these thoughts, my whole world collapsed. I could not function at work, so I went home early.
Reviewing My Cultivation Path
After returning home, I calmed down and reviewed my cultivation from the beginning and slowly tried to make sense of it. I remembered that when I was illegally detained in 1999, my husband came to see me. He asked me: “Do you think this Fa is real?”
“If it is not real, I will smash my head against the wall and die,” I said.
My husband said, “Don't mind whether it is real or not. Don't kill yourself. I will wait for you no matter what.” I realized that I was not sure about the Fa even from that time.
Whenever my faith in Master began to waver, I looked inside and found memories and teachings that bolstered my faith in the Fa. For example, I thought about how practicing Falun Gong cured a serious illness I used to have. And Master immediately answered so many questions at experience sharing conferences. Would an average person be able to do that? Also, I am a fearful person. However, when I had encountered tribulations, I immediately had ample righteous thoughts. I had felt that Master was helping me.
After 19 years of cultivation, I found that none of those thoughts that had previously helped firm my faith in Master worked anymore.
One practitioner asked a question about faith in the Fa and Master:
“Question: The deepest understanding that veteran students have of the Fa is to be steadfast in the Fa and believe in Master. I'd like to ask this: where do steadfastness and faith originate from? This issue has troubled my husband for a long time. How can we cultivate and form this type of incomparable steadfastness in the Fa?
“Teacher: Whether to believe in something or not is a human's rational thought. It's not from me giving you something, and it's not a state that you can achieve through some kind of a method. Dafa disciples all have steadfast faith in Dafa; that's a description in words for Dafa disciples. Their firm belief in Dafa evolves from a rational understanding, and it's not the result of some factors having an effect on people.”
“But the righteous faith of a Dafa disciple is a Godly state. It results from a rational understanding of the truth, it's the Godly state of the side that's been successfully cultivated, and it's definitely not something that external elements can have an effect on. It's not about having firm belief for the sake of having firm belief, or being steadfast for the sake of being steadfast--you can't achieve it that way.”
“All the students rise by understanding the Fa's principles, and that's the only way they can become more diligent, and that's the only way they can become so steadfast in the Fa. That's not due to any external factor, and it can't be achieved by coming up with some methods.” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference” from Collected Fa Teachings, Vol III)
After reading Master’s lectures, I knew that human notions have no place in Dafa. I asked myself, how can I achieve the state of having no doubt in Master?
“Cultivate Dafa with all your heart,Nothing could be more important.Become one with Dafa,And Consummation is, in time, certain.”(“Gaining the Fa” from Hong Yin)
Did I consider cultivation as the most important part of my life? I often put everyday obligations first. When I finish ordinary tasks, then I read the Fa. I had not put Dafa in the first place. I did not cherish or attach enough importance to Dafa. If I had considered Dafa more important than my life, would I have not paid more attention to Fa-study and exercises? Would I still be lazy? This is the root of the issue. Whenever something happened, I always asked what I needed from the Fa and Master. If I did not get it, I developed resentment. Isn't that the fundamental reason that had caused some people to give up cultivation or enlighten on deviated paths?
How do we achieve the state of having no doubt in Master? We should practice “free of intention,” (Zhuan Falun) as well as “gain naturally without pursuit,” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney) and study the Fa more. When going through a tribulation, that is the time to test whether or not one's faith in Dafa is strong enough.
Master said,
“Enlightening comes before seeing.” (“Why One Cannot See” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
“Yet, with or without seeing, an exceptional person can depend on his enlightening to reach Consummation.” (“Why One Cannot See” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
“Sincerity is a prerequisite if you are to rectify your mind.” (Falun Gong)
We cultivate in the delusion of the human world and Master will not show great powers in order to let you believe. We must enlighten and believe unconditionally. To believe with a precondition is a shortcoming!
I am enlightening to new understandings and find more of my shortcomings every day. I realized that Master sees that I still have a lot of human attachments and deeply-rooted problems, so he gives me hints. As long as I try in earnest, Master will give me hints about principles that I should know and attachments I need to eliminate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
