(Minghui.org) Throughout the 10 years that I've practiced Falun Dafa, my ordinary human attachments have surfaced, and some have been very prominent. Because I did not understand the teachings deeply, I often slacked off in my cultivation and have used ordinary thinking to deal with hardships or challenges. For example, I had a hard time letting go of resentment and jealousy.
I was jealous and resented the way my mother-in-law treated her younger son and daughter in-law; she was obviously much nicer to them than she was to my husband and me. Although I was able to remove a lot of attachments and maintained a good relationship with my in-laws, I did not completely let go of resentment and jealousy. On the surface, it appeared that our family was harmonious. However, because we contributed more to the family than the other relatives, I would sometimes I feel that it was unfair.
My husband was raised by a relative until he was old enough to go to school. My in-laws always favored his younger brother. After the two sons grew up and married, their parents continued to favor the younger son's family. Even the neighbors noticed the difference, and they also felt that the way we were treated was unfair.
Master Li Hongzhi said in Zhuan Falun:
“Back when absolute egalitarianism was practiced, they said that people are all born the same, and that it’s things after you’re born that change you. I’d say that idea is too absolute, and anything so absolute is wrong.”
“When we look at it from a higher level, a person’s whole life is laid out there in another dimension, so could people be the same? Everybody wants to be equal, but if something isn’t part of your life, how could you be equal? People aren’t the same.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Master Li also said:
“It’s easy for people to do bad things when they’re in delusion. In Buddhism this is called karmic retribution. So, usually when people have tribulations or bad things happen, for example, they’re paying for their karma by karmic retribution.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly realized that the reason I wasn't able to completely let go of the feeling of unfairness was that I used an everyday definition of “fairness” to measure the situation. I kept failing to remember that this tribulation was a “paying off” of karma.
When I finally came to that understanding, whenever I encountered an “unfair” situation, I rejected the ordinary concept of “fairness” and easily passed the test. Now, I treat my husband’s brother nicely from the bottom of my heart and place his family's interests first. I truly feel selfless and altruistic!
I think that we've hung onto many of our human attachments because we don’t fully evaluate challenges we encounter from the standpoint of the Fa.
For an example, I always thought that time was tight when I tried to follow Master Li's requirements. I became anxious and felt pressured because I know we have a historical responsibility as Dafa disciples to help offer salvation to people. After I studied the Fa, I realized that I wouldn't feel anxious if I studied well and internalized the teachings.
A cultivator's state should be peaceful and compassionate. I become an ordinary person when I get anxious or feel pressured. If I'm in that state, my thoughts are not on the Fa, and I may encounter rejections and insults when I hand out Dafa flyers to people.
In fact, hidden behind that feeling of anxiety is the attachment of pursuing. I want to do well, I want to study the Fa and practice well, and I want to save more people. This is the attachment of pursuing. No matter how tight our time is or how many things we must deal with, we should just do it. My understanding is, if we let go of pursuit, Master will arrange everything for us.
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Category: Improving Oneself
