(Minghui.org) A fellow practitioner, Rosie, began to experience serious sickness karma in November of 2016. She had trouble walking to our group Fa study, so her husband drove her. This was a hardship for him since he needed to be at work. Our coordinator thought that we should arrange for two practitioners to study with her at home.
The next day, I was near where we study together and decided to look in. There were half a dozen practitioners there, and they all laughed when they saw me. The coordinator explained that, whenever they thought about someone, that person would show up. We began to discuss visiting Rosie at home for Fa study.
My Worries about a Fellow Practitioner
Without thinking I said, “I cannot do it!”
“I think you can,” said the coordinator. Another practitioner said, “Yes, I think you could do it.”
Rosie happened to be there, lying down, and said, “If she doesn't want to do it, don’t push her.” Immediately I began to feel ashamed for what I'd said. On my way home, I thought about what happened. I knew it was no accident that I'd encountered this.
I was not all that familiar with Rosie. We had only talked briefly in the past. A few days afterward, some of us went to her home to send forth righteous thoughts. Rosie was very talkative, but some of what she said was not on the Fa, and several of us became concerned.
I am introverted and usually do not talk a lot. But if Rosie continued to bring up unrelated issues, it could affect our study. What should I do? She needed to study the Fa well to get through this tribulation. If I did not have the ability to keep us focused, it would be better if the coordinator found a more capable practitioner to help her.
The next day when we went to Rosie's home to send forth righteous thoughts, I told the coordinator what I was thinking. He looked at me and said, “There is no one better to send. If I had time, I would go, but my mother is experiencing a sickness tribulation and also needs care.” I was hesitant and said, “Maybe we could find someone else.”
Another practitioner, Zoe, spoke up, “I could go with you.”
Studying the Fa Together and Looking Within
We made plans to study beginning at 8 a.m. and read two chapters of Zhuan Falun. We agreed to not talk about unrelated topics during our study time.
We did this for a week, and the results were good. Rosie stayed focused and rarely made a mistake. She could not cross her legs because they were sore and swollen, so she sat on the sofa, for three hours. I thought, “Only a Dafa disciple could endure such a tribulation.
During that time, I wondered if Rosie's sickness karma was as serious as I initially thought. Why was I scared like that? It must be related to my own heart.
Master said:
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX)
I realized that I needed to look within. I lacked kindness and found I was also selfish and worried about losing face. These are all attachments of ordinary people. All my worries were based on selfishness. I should not have been so quick to say I couldn't help. I should have said we could give it a try. I did not consider her feelings. Dafa teaches us to consider others first. I felt ashamed. I needed to cultivate myself diligently and eliminate this selfish heart.
For the next few days, Rosie had an upset stomach and had to throw up a lot. She became weak and it affected our Fa study. I discussed with her that we needed to look within. She said, “You are right. I noticed that I cannot eat sour, hard, or cold foods because they upset my stomach. A fellow practitioner said that a practitioner can eat anything. I also thought of not eating, but I couldn’t help it.”
As we talked, I learned that Rosie grew up in a wealthy family and usually ate whatever she wanted and refused to eat whatever she did not like. She had a big attachment to eating. It’s not a problem for ordinary people, but for a practitioner, there is a higher standard. Isn’t it a desire and an attachment to like to eat a particular food? She would throw up after eating hard, cold things, but she still ate them. She could not control herself.
I saw her desire and attachment but did not know how to point it out. Should I let her figure it out herself? I printed out an experience sharing article for her to read about getting rid of a similar sickness karma, but it did not have any effect. Time passed, but the symptoms did not change. I was worried and blamed her in my heart. Why did she not realize this?
Then I thought of Master’s Fa about looking within, and I asked myself, “Why am I only trying to help my fellow practitioner look within, I need to look within myself.” My fear of losing face, worry, and selfishness were still not cleared. I worried that speaking out would emotionally affect her improvement and that she would be unhappy with me if she thought I was pointing out her shortcomings. I was unintentionally protecting myself. I also did not have a calm mind when I studied. When encountering problems, I also was not referencing the Fa or looking within for answers.
Identifying an Attachment and Removing It
I found my attachment and decided to get rid of it.
Master said:
“On the issue of food, besides eating meat one should not be attached to any other food, either. The same is true with other things. Some people say that they just like to eat a particular food—that is also a desire. After reaching a certain level of cultivation, a practitioner will not have this attachment.” (Zhuan Falun)
After studying the Fa, we discussed with Rosie the issue of her throwing up. We discussed that liking to eat something or not liking to eat something is an attachment. Master told us that, if it is a desire and an attachment, we should get rid of it. If we listen to Master’s words, we can do well and improve. Only when we can really get rid of all kinds of attachments can we gain.
Master said:
“Only then, with that,is it actually cultivation.”(“Solid Cultivation” from Hong Yin)
Afterward, we concentrated on our Fa study, and I no longer felt sleepy. If we occasionally made a mistake, we corrected it immediately. Every word of the Fa was imprinted upon our minds, and the effect was good.
While we studied, we often felt “this paragraph exactly fits my situation” or “in this sentence Master is telling me my problem” and “how could I not see the meaning of this sentence before!”
Rosie said, “I have the same feeling.” After we focused on our study, Rosie's sickness symptoms lessened. The swelling was gone and she no longer threw up during Fa study. Looking within really is a treasure.
Through studying with Rosie, I really enlightened that there are no accidents in cultivation. Compassionate Master noticed my problem of not studying with a calm mind and being sleepy during Fa study, so he arranged for me to study with Rosie to improve my xinxing.
On the surface, I was helping a fellow practitioner get through a tribulation, but it was actually a process of cultivating myself to get rid of selfishness and worrying about losing face.
Master told us:
“Dafa disciples are the hope for the future. Dafa disciples are shouldering the historic responsibility of saving sentient beings. To complete this tremendous mission well, Dafa disciples must study the Fa well. Only by cultivating yourselves well can you, at the same time, do well and successfully accomplish all this. Dafa is the Fa of the universe, so “Dafa disciple” is a sacred title. Consummate yourself while saving all beings and validating Dafa. (“To the Fa Conference in Japan”)
We must listen to Master’s words, cultivate ourselves, and fulfill our mission.
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Category: Improving Oneself
