(Minghui.org) In previous years, I have assisted with Shen Yun by going to different cities in another province to help local practitioners provide security for Shen Yun. As a new practitioner, the opportunity to travel to other places and participate in Shen Yun activities was exciting. In addition, helping with Shen Yun this way allowed me to be around only practitioners for a week or two, which was a real treat for me, since none of my friends or family practice.
Over time, however, the novelty and excitement dissipated, and I was able to look at this as a precious opportunity to contribute to Shen Yun performances in my region and a source of many great opportunities to improve my xinxing.
Overcoming Fear of Losing Face
One of the most important tasks of theater security for Shen Yun is ensuring that the patrons do not take photographs during the show. To do this effectively, patrons need to be reminded at the door as they enter the theater and again while they’re in their seats, briefly before the show starts. If this is not done well, low-quality pictures of Shen Yun might be released on the internet, phone users would distract others trying to enjoy the show, and camera flashes can be quite distracting for the performers as well.
Over time, I gradually found myself more and more unwilling to remind people to put away their phones and not to take pictures. I would be afraid of showtime, and eventually more people began to take pictures during the show. After many arguments with the security supervisor, I realized that I was at fault.
Looking within, I found shortcomings in my xinxing that caused my anxiety. I was afraid of losing face if I were perceived as an authority figure. In the poem “Yin and Yang Reversed” from Hong Yin Master says:
“Yin and yang’s reversal harms the worldMen have no manlinessIndecisive, hesitant, and effeminateNarrow-minded, they’re worthless wretches…”
I am a male in my late 20s and grew up in a region of my country with a very modernist mindset. I was deeply affected by the cultural trends in my country and, before I started practicing Falun Dafa, had very poor concepts of masculinity, femininity, and traditional culture. Because of that, fulfilling a role where I needed to appear strong, in charge, and confident was extremely uncomfortable for me.
I could not let go of the notion that patrons would consider me mean-spirited or rude when I was telling them what they could and could not do. In fact, what I was doing was a good thing: I was helping to protect the reputation of Shen Yun and allowing the theatergoers to enjoy the performance more. The task I was assigned was not difficult; it was only my attachment that stood in the way.
As I understood the reasons behind my unpleasant feelings and the right way to look at the situation, I gradually felt better and more confident in handling security tasks, as well as issues in my ordinary life. The situation with my wife has gotten better as well. I now do a better job at taking the lead and making sure that the things I am responsible for are handled well. When I am confident and prepared for situations, it makes my wife feel much happier and more secure.
As I think back on the years I’ve helped with Shen Yun, it has really been a precious opportunity to assist in bringing the show to different areas and cultivating myself in the process. I hope all practitioners outside of China can put their hearts into promoting and supporting Shen Yun in the upcoming year.
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Category: Improving Oneself
