(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in 2014. Before that, I just did the five Dafa exercises, but did not study the teachings of Falun Dafa.
Before I decided to truly practice Dafa I experienced many tribulations and lost my family. But, two practitioners kept after me until I finally began to understand how to cultivate.
I met some senior practitioners who had been imprisoned and tortured, but did not give up their faith. They followed Falun Dafa's principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, clarified the truth about Dafa to people and through their example, helped me to be a diligent practitioner.
Eliminating Attachments to Fame and Jealousy
I rented a room and formed a Fa study group, with about five other practitioners. Then, more practitioners joined us and our group grew to more than ten people. We shared our understanding on the Fa. They encouraged me to use all my spare time to study the Dafa lectures, do the exercises and talk to people about Dafa.
Being with fellow practitioners was instrumental in my finding the attachments to fame, personal benefit and jealousy.
When I heard that a practitioner was doing very well in her truth-clarification efforts I was supportive on the surface, but held the thought that I was doing just as well.
When practitioners began to file criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin, the former head of the communist regime who started the persecution of Falun Gong, I helped many less educated practitioners prepare their complaints, as well as write articles for World Falun Dafa Day. So, as soon as a practitioner praised me, I wanted to make sure they knew that I also did well in school, and at my workplace.
Master said,
“Because jealousy is really intense in China, so intense it’s become natural, and people can’t sense it in themselves anymore.” (Zhuan Falun)
“So that can stir up jealousy, and people then get upset when something good happens to other people, instead of being happy for them.” (Zhuan Falun)
Since I had not cultivated for very long, I did not know how to cultivate and look inward.
Master said,
“I’ll tell you a truth: the whole process of cultivation is a process of constantly getting rid of human attachments.” (Zhuan Falun)
I told myself that my surface thoughts are not me, and I must eliminate them. By sending righteous thoughts, I gradually eliminated my attachments to showing off and jealousy.
Representing Dafa in Public
Every practitioners walks his or her own cultivation path. I like to look nice and dress well, especially when I talk to people about Falun Dafa. This helped greatly when I joined other practitioners in their truth-clarification efforts.
Some people had heard that I was Dafa practitioner. After they eye-balled me they said, “You are good looking and dressed well, how come you are involved with Falun Dafa?” This was because when many practitioners clarify the truth in public they often dress casually and wear a hat, to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible and avoid possible persecution.
“Not all practitioners are like the ones you have seen. Besides, Falun Dafa is a higher level Buddha Fa. Anyone can practice it, so why can't I? You can practice it too.”
Then, I tell them the facts about Dafa and the persecution. I persuade them to quit the Communist Party and its associated organizations. However, some asked me why I was against the Party. I was not angry at all, but simply told them the truth. It was up to them to believe or not believe what I said, and act according to what I suggested.
Eliminating the Attachment to Lust
I decided to clarify the truth to men with a higher Party affiliation and help them quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Whenever men looked at me from head to toe, I felt the desire to clarify the truth to them, and to persuade them to quit the CCP. I did not realize that my attachment to showing off and to lust were growing.
Another practitioner noticed it and said, “Please be aware that almost no man is good nowadays. Some looked at you with ill attention.” I didn't agree, and instead, I thought she was jealous.
Once when I left my house to talk to people about Falun Dafa, I fell. I got up without another thought. The next person I talked to yelled at me when I said, “I wish you peace and good health.” That day people refused to listen to me.
Master said,
“Cultivation isn’t kid’s stuff, and it’s not some ordinary people’s skill. It’s really serious. Whether you want to cultivate, and whether you can cultivate, this all depends on how you are going to improve your character.” (Zhuan Falun)
“All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will stumble, and from that grasp the truth. That’s how you cultivate.” (Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I liked to wear make up, dress well, and attract other people, especially men. My attachment to lust was so strong! It was my attachments that drove me to clarify the truth to men. When fellow practitioners pointed this out to me, I refused to listen and thought that they were jealous. I wondered, “Am I a real practitioner? Was it accidental that I fell or was yelled at by people?”
I realized that I had attachments and held the wrong thoughts. Thus, I told myself, “I am a new practitioner, I need to study the Fa more. I need to rectify all my thoughts and deeds and act based on the Fa. I must look inwards and eliminate all my attachments.”
Master said,
“Let go of your attachments that are too many and too strong, and walk well your own path—this process is your way.” (“A Congratulatory Message to the European Fa Conference”)
I have decided to be more diligent and to cultivate well.
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