(Minghui.org) For the past year and a half, I had slipped into a terrible cultivation state – I failed to make use of every opportunity to improve myself, and I didn't bother to rectify bad thoughts in my mind. This had a harmful effect on my overall cultivation state.

I felt like I was drifting away from Master and the Fa during that period of time. I didn't dare to look at Master’s portrait and was deeply ashamed of myself for my past failures. I started to accept the fact that I was not a “good Dafa disciple.” I had the notion that as a newer western practitioner my connection to Master was not so strong.

I knew these thoughts were wrong, but I could not break free from them. I left my media job and moved to another state where I worked from home. During this time, I had a righteous thought to memorize Zhuan Falun. I knew from experience how powerful memorizing the Fa can be. I took this seriously and made it my goal to memorize the whole book no matter how hard it would be.

I started to memorize one page per day but sometimes would miss a day or two. I kept my mind calm and I was able to start absorbing new meaning from the Fa as I memorized the Fa. Sometimes I could get 2 or 3 new understandings just from memorizing one line. The effect was amazing. I could also feel that a solid thing was being built inside of me.

During this time, I started to see clearly many of my attachments from my past conduct. I realized that I had been affected by my attachments to self-validation, competitiveness, jealousy, and resentment.

Master taught us, “The Fa can break all attachments” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II). Through more Fa Study and memorization, I finally felt my major attachments were being removed from me.Around this time, I saw in a dream that I was encased in a big rock floating in space. The rock then exploded into small pieces. I knew this was my attachments being removed. I also understood that I must stay diligent so as to remove all the remaining small pieces from my dimensional field. The Fa was helping me break free from my attachments.

After this experience I went back to work in the media again. I could feel Master’s compassion in giving me another opportunity to do better. Time is short, and Master keeps offering us opportunities. I know I cannot afford to take any detours in cultivation and that holding on to any attachment is very serious.

I enlightened to more Fa principles as I removed more of my resentment towards others.

I had a couple of rough nights recently and then I finally realized that I was not calling out to Master for help and that my faith in Master needed to be strengthened.
Once I called out to Master, deeply from my heart, I was basked in this Light and Master was right in front of me.

I came to understand that as long as I follow Master wholeheartedly, I will be in the Fa, I won't have doubts or worries, and my attachments will diminish.

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Category: Improving Oneself