(Minghui.org) Esteemed Master and fellow practitioners:
A tremendous fear accompanied me from the time I was young, which at times turned into panic. I was fearful of talking in front of a lot of people or giving a speech.
Conquering Fear
After graduating, I felt really happy because I no longer had to take tests or speak before groups of people. This was the case for about three years, at which time I started to practice Falun Dafa.
Then, the very idea of experience sharing after studying the Fa in our German-Swiss group caused extreme fear. Thus, I just acted shy until the opportunity to speak had passed.
The test came when I was asked to take part in promoting Shen Yun at a booth. I was directly confronted with my old problem. In the end, I'm certain I passed the test only with Master's help.
Although I had prepared what I was going to say and memorized it, my mind was empty and I felt like I was going to black out.
After overcoming this ordeal and similar situations, including presenting Minghui reports, it was time to eliminate the attachment to fear of public speaking.
Master said,
“It’s not that if you have fear you are no good. It’s about overcoming your fears and trying to do the three things well with stronger righteous thoughts, and that is outstanding. (Applause) To put it in perspective, no matter how afraid you may be, if when faced with the responsibility of saving sentient beings you feel compelled to take action, to go save people, then that is remarkable.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
That was when the call to submit articles for the German Fahui went out. I felt a strong desire that said, “I have to participate.” Thus, after a lot of back and forth, I conquered my reluctance to write an article and present it today.
Illness Karma
I was looking forward to working a Falun Dafa booth on the coming Monday, my day off. The event was some distance from my home, so I booked a room for one night, from Sunday to Monday.
Sunday afternoon I came down with a swallowing issue (dysphagia) that worsened. I had a hard time swallowing on my way to the event. I believed that this was interference. The old forces wanted to stop me from clarifying the truth about Dafa and the ongoing persecution and prevent me from saving people.
Master said,
“We have said that good or evil comes from a person’s spontaneous thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun, Version 2000)
As I drove, I sent righteous thoughts, because I realized that this was a life and death test.
I remembered I'd encountered this same situation when I was helping to promote the 2018 Shen Yun show. I suffered from sickness karma for three months when I was distributing the brochures. However, my righteous thoughts did not have much energy or strength at that time, and I lacked the concentration that was needed to eliminate the evil. After the Shen Yun performance, all my discomfort disappeared. I realized that I had truly experienced interference.
I made up my mind that this would not be the case this time. I wanted to and had to pass this test under all circumstances. In fact, another recent incident showed me that our compassionate Master had given me the strength and concentration to send righteous thoughts.
When I entered my room in the inn, I noticed a Buddha statue. I thought that the owner must be open to Buddhism and that there are no coincidences.
My swallowing discomfort was still rather intense. It had gotten worse, and I felt cold. So I read a lecture in Zhuan Falun, sent righteous thoughts, and went to bed. I woke up in a sweat three hours later and could hardly swallow. Agitated and hardly able to swallow, I could not go back to sleep. I again sent righteous thoughts and negated the interference and the persecution by the old forces, trying to eliminate them. This went on for several hours, until it was time for the worldwide sending of righteous thoughts.
My discomfort was still quite intense, but I did the exercises and then had breakfast. I sat across from a wall where different kinds of Buddha statues were on display. I heard that the owner was a former architect who became a healer. His wife had practiced Buddhism for quite some time.
I clarified the truth about Dafa and the persecution to the couple. I also told them about the Chinese regime's state-sanctioned forced organ harvesting. Both accepted brochures with more detailed information.
On my way to the information booth to help with the setup, I suddenly noticed that I no longer had a problem swallowing. I felt quite well. At the parking garage, an employee gave me a coupon for free parking. I was surprised and thanked him.
Passersby Interested in Hearing the Truth
The location of the information booth under the trees was perfect for a hot summer day. My problem swallowing had almost disappeared and I easily ignored it. The four of us, with more showing up later, demonstrated the exercises and handed out flyers. We sent righteous thoughts and could feel a strong energy.
At first, there were only a few passersby. But they showed great interest in Falun Dafa. Some watched carefully when we demonstrated the exercises. We noticed more than once the importance of explaining the situation about Dafa clearly and honestly and were always ready to provide more details. We also noticed that the people approached us on their own and asked questions after looking at the display boards. Many of the passersby signed the petition protesting forced organ harvesting, which was addressed to the federal council in our area.
As a young man talked with another practitioner, I stood close by and overheard him say he was hoping to come across something good and that he would support our efforts. Then he said to me, “Don't be so shy.” I saw this as a reminder that I should look within. I understood that I should clarify the truth with confidence and not be timid. It became obvious to me that this is truly connected to our trust in Master and our belief in Dafa.
The day passed in an instant, and we experienced much that was positive. Despite having had a sleepless night and difficulty swallowing. I was awake, fit, and filled with energy.
We dismantled the booth and sent righteous thoughts before we left. When I got home late that night, I noticed that my swallowing discomfort had disappeared.
(Presented at the 2019 German Fa Conference)
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