(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1996 and was responsible for bringing the music player to the practice site. Every morning I went to the site ahead of time and then practiced with everyone. We studied the teachings together in the evening. I was very happy.
After the persecution of Falun Dafa started in 1999, I practiced alone at home. Another practitioner later set up a Fa study group. Although I sometimes practiced the exercises with the group, due to seeking comfort and the fear of being arrested, I rarely attended the group Fa study. I moved several years ago, and there were several study groups near me. I have participated in group study and the exercises more often since.
At first, I was told I was half asleep when I was meditating and I did not hold my palm up straight when sending forth righteous thoughts. When I opened my eyes to check myself, I also noticed that many other practitioners had the same problem to varying degrees. In comparison, I thought I was doing relatively well. I felt good about myself and did not pay any more attention to this.
In recent years, however, I lost a lot of weight. My family members and friends had doubts and concerns about my practice. Some suggested that I get my blood sugar checked. I knew the suggestion was a false reality, so I didn't acknowledge it. I also looked inward and tried to find the root cause of the problem.
I found a lot of attachments, including my inability to study the Fa with a calm heart. The symptoms of illness persisted, and I was confused. I firmly believed in Dafa and firmly believed in Master, but I did not know what the root cause was.
One day, another practitioner came to my home to share experiences with me. She suggested that I record myself with my cell phone when I meditated and sent forth righteous thoughts. I agreed. When I watched the recorded video, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that the person in the video was me. I was ashamed of what I saw.
Although I have practiced for more than 20 years and have been doing the three things on a daily basis, there are still many attachments that I have not been able to eliminate. I am far from meeting the requirements of Dafa. Master [Li Hongzhi] is compassionate. Master saw that I did not enlighten and find my problem, so he sent a practitioner to wake me up. Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioner!
Regarding meditation, Master said:
“The still meditation requires sitting in meditation for a long time. During the meditation there should be no mental activity—don’t think about anything. We’ve said that your main consciousness has to be aware, for this practice cultivates your own self. You should progress with an alert mind. How do we perform the meditation? We require that each of you must know that you are doing the exercise there, no matter how deeply you meditate. You absolutely should not enter into a state in which you’re aware of nothing.” (Chapter III, Mechanics and Principles of the Exercise Movements, The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
One practitioner asked Master at a Fa conference about sending righteous thoughts:
“Question: When sending righteous thoughts, does the hand's posture affect the outcome?
“Teacher: Well in principle, as long as you're rational and clearheaded, making hand gestures or not won't affect anything. But, it's apparent from your hand gestures whether you've entered into tranquility or not, or if you've fallen into a foggy state. (Teacher laughs) So when you send righteous thoughts you have to be alert. And what's that state like? It's very pleasant, as if everything is still and quiet and the whole body is enveloped by energy.” (Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)
I asked local practitioners to remind me about this when we meditated and sent forth righteous thoughts together. At the same time, I intensified my efforts to send righteous thoughts to disintegrate all the bad substances in my dimension and get rid of my attachments. I denied all arrangements by the old forces and only accepted the path Master arranged for me. After a period of time, I finally overcame the tribulation with Master's compassion and blessing.
My tribulation reminded me of two other practitioners who started to practice Falun Dafa before July 20, 1999. They did very well with Fa study and clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa. But they both had the same problem I did: they were half asleep when they meditated and their hand gestures were not correct when sending forth righteous thoughts.
When someone pointed out her problem, one practitioner got upset and did not believe it. She thought that she was in a state of tranquility when she was meditating and said she didn't have a problem. Both practitioners have been detained and tortured. I recently learned that two male practitioners also had the same issue before they passed away.
I hope all practitioners will pay attention to the quality of their meditation and sending forth righteous thoughts. We especially need to remind one another. We can also check for this problem by videotaping ourselves while we meditate and send forth righteous thoughts. Let us be diligent together and complete our missions.
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Category: Improving Oneself
