(Minghui.org) The global wave of suing a former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) head began in May 2015. After three months of deliberation I also submitted a legal complaint using my real name. Why did I have to think about it for so long? I wasn't a “new” practitioner, I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2010. Although I was arrested once for distributing truth-clarification fliers, I escaped. Most people did not know that I was a practitioner. Filing the lawsuit with my real name would expose my identity.
I wasn't too concerned about personal safety, because I had complete trust in Master [Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa]. I mainly wanted to validate Dafa through my legal complaint, warn those still carrying out the persecution, and help more people quit the CCP.
I filed my complaint more than three years ago and I was not harassed. Recently however, my father received a phone call from the village chief saying that my name was on the blacklists of our town, township, and the village, and the police would soon come for me. My whole family became nervous and were very worried about my safety.
I realized that I must have loopholes in my cultivation which were being taken advantage of by the old forces. After I analyzed the situation, I knew that I had to deal with family relationships more rationally. I couldn’t argue with them, otherwise they would become more worried and say bad things about Dafa.
Nearly Overwhelmed with Fear
The first few days were quite tough. My father knew that I would not give up practicing Falun Dafa. He also knew that I would listen to whatever he said, but on the cultivation issue I would never agree with him. He asked the whole family to persuade me to quit practicing, including my mother.
My mother had suffered three or four strokes, but because of Master's compassion she did not die. However, my mother has a simple mind, limited education and lots of fear. She just followed my dad's instruction and checked on me from time to time to see if I was practicing or sending righteous thoughts. My heart couldn't stay calm—my mother had benefited tremendously from Dafa. How could she behave like this? But I managed to brush aside my anger. I understood that my mother was afraid. My family behaved this way because they were afraid of the CCP.
I really felt the persecution coming at me from other dimensions. I could feel that my body in another dimension was tied down. In this dimension I was also tangled up in fear, and my body trembled even when I sent forth righteous thoughts. All kinds of distracting thoughts flooded my brain.
My family kept discussing what might happen to us, because the CCP constantly monitors people. These days, it seems there's nowhere to hide in China. I was worried and moved. My human thoughts and fear almost overwhelmed me. I felt that my righteous thoughts were getting weaker and weaker, and I could no longer feel the power when I sent righteous thoughts.
Becoming Clearheaded
I began to realize that this interference of even my thoughts came from the old forces, and it was also a form of persecution. If I agreed with them even a little, then this persecution would become a reality. Although I understood what was happening, my thoughts were still unstable. I said to myself: “I am a Dafa practitioner, and Master is in charge!”
I realized that this mental persecution wanted me to accept it.
Master said:
“I have always refused to accept this persecution, and I don’t accept the stuff arranged by the old forces. Nor will I ever.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
If Master doesn't accept it, how could I? The old forces are not worthy of testing me. How I cultivate or pass tests is Master's arrangement, not the old forces. They are not worthy.
After my thoughts became righteous and I was clear on the Fa principles, the fear left me. I felt the power of the Fa surrounding me, and the energy was very strong. When sending righteous thoughts I could get into the state of ding (completely calm). I could feel that my field was clear, and the evil elements in other dimensions were being cleared out. I knew my divine side was in charge.
The Fa also helped change my understanding of my relationship with the police. On the surface, I was on the blacklist because of my lawsuit, but the police are actually the sentient beings I need to save. Although the police are directly persecuting us, they are also the victims of the persecution. Because they've participated in the persecution they will be eliminated.
This is one way that the old forces persecute mankind. I asked Master to strengthen my righteous thoughts; I absolutely would not allow the old forces to intervene, and not allow the police to commit crimes against practitioners.
When I truly denied the old forces' arrangement, my family changed. They relaxed and stopped monitoring me. They became more understanding. My sister apologized for her bad attitude. My mother also asked me to teach her again the words, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness Compassion Forbearance is good,” which she used to always say.
My sister's child is now eighteen months old. I know he also came for the Fa. I showed him Master's image and the Falun emblem and now he likes to run to my room with Zhuan Falun in his little hands, and asks, “Where is Master? Where is the Falun?” He wants me to open the book and show him. My sister doesn't stop me from teaching her son. I know that all of this was given by Master, and our family is once again harmonious.
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Category: Improving Oneself
