(Minghui.org) I was born into an honest and simple family. Both my parents were illiterate, but my father was honest and upright, and my mother was diligent and kind. They taught me not to be selfish. When I was a child, I was hardworking and kind. I would admit my mistakes and correct them when I did anything wrong.
Miseries After Growing Up
Unfortunately, when I reached school age, I became steeped in the Cultural Revolution. I was indoctrinated by the Chinese the Communist Party (CCP) and believed in atheism, materialism, dialectics, struggle philosophy, violent revolution, evolution theory, and so on. I was in school for nine of the ten years that the Cultural Revolution lasted.
Given the years of indoctrination during my youth, I became selfish and fought back when facing trouble. I developed the attachments of competition, jealousy, and selfishness. I thought I was always right and could not tolerate people disagreeing with me. I looked down on people and only wanted to be complimented.
I married a man who was addicted to gambling when I was in my 20s. He would stay away for several days gambling. Sometimes he didn't come home for several months but wouldn’t tell me where he had been. He lost all of our money and accumulated a lot of debt. I had to repay his debts and became poor and miserable.
My husband also had a bad temper. I was very disappointed with my life and wanted to die. I wanted to jump into a river one day but suddenly remembered that I still owed someone money. I decided to repay that person before killing myself. When I decided to commit suicide again, I thought of my parents. They brought me up, but I hadn't been able to repay them. They would be very sad if I died.
I later had a fight with my husband and wanted to die again. When I went out to find a tree strong enough to hang myself from, I suddenly heard a voice behind me. It was a friend of mine. He saw me and noticed that something was wrong, so he talked with me, which stopped me from committing suicide. I wanted to commit suicide on several more occasions but was stopped each time.
I lived in anger every day and could not eat or sleep well. I had many diseases, but with no money to pay for a doctor, I suffered every day. I had back pain, stomachaches, migraines, and numbness in the back of my head. When I became angry, I couldn’t think or move.
I began thinking about the meaning of life. Where do people come from? What is the meaning of living in the world? No matter how rich or poor, no matter how famous or capable one can be, everything one acquires disappears when one dies. I was puzzled and annoyed. I thought about going to a temple to escape, but I didn't make it for various reasons. Finally, my husband and I divorced.
I returned to my hometown when I was in my 30s and married a man with complex family relationships. My second husband's ex-wife and daughter died in a car accident. He lived with his ex-mother-in-law and son. I had a daughter. Our complicated family relationships made me want to die again.
I started to practice Falun Dafa in the summer of 1998. I did the meditation for half an hour on the first day and slept until dawn, which had never happened before. I recovered from all my illnesses. I didn't know at the time that Falun Dafa could help people become healthy. I just practiced cultivation with a pure heart. I felt that I had finally found my life's goal and the meaning of coming to this world.
Harmonious Family Environment
Through cultivation in Dafa, I came to develop a correct understanding of life and the world.
Master said:
“As practitioners, you will suddenly come across conflicts. What should you do? You should always maintain a heart of compassion and kindness. Then, when you run into a problem, you will be able to do well because it gives you room to buffer the confrontation. You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything. Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems. Therefore, in cultivation practice you should follow a higher and higher standard for yourself.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“Of course, in practicing cultivation in ordinary human society, we should respect parents and educate our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
In my complicated family environment, I behaved according to the standards of Dafa. The first person who benefited from this was my husband. Before I started cultivating myself in Dafa, I looked down on him, and he did not dare to make me angry. Because I had health problems, I had him massage me every night. After I started practicing cultivation, I never asked him for a massage, so he became very supportive of my practice.
I treated my husband's ex-mother-in-law very well. I always made the meals easy to digest and served her first. When she ate watermelon, I always cut it into small pieces and removed the seeds. I gave her the best food that we had. When the persecution began, she told me not to be afraid because she knew that practitioners were good people.
I also treated my husband's son and daughter-in-law well. His son has grown up and treats me very well in turn. My daughter-in-law supports my cultivation because her sister's two children both grew up in my home and I took good care of them. One of the children also started practicing Dafa. She could tell good from evil and became a diligent cultivator. We got on very well. My family environment is very harmonious.
No More Fighting at Home
One time, I asked my husband to serve the rice after I prepared the meal as I was busy with other things. He refused. I became upset and said, “I have served meals for the whole family for years and nobody has helped me.” After I said that, I gave it a second thought and realized that I should not have asked other people to do things for me. So I served the meal myself. When I placed the bowl on the table, my husband grabbed my collar and threatened to beat me.
Master said,
“...as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted, but should conduct oneself with a high standard.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that he would lose de (virtue) if he beat me, so I smiled at him. He asked, “What are you laughing at?” I said, “You will give me de if you hit me, and I will use it to develop gong.” He immediately loosened his grip and said, “I almost did a bad thing. I won't beat you and give you de.” He no longer felt angry.
Resolving Conflicts
Master also taught us to treat everyone well. Once we were building a house with our neighbors. My neighbor and my son fought with each other over the foundation. I shouted at them, “Stop fighting! A neighbor is closer than a far-off relative.” Hearing my words, they stopped arguing. Our neighbor said it was his fault, and my son also apologized. I might have joined their fight if I weren’t a cultivator.
Falun Dafa is really wonderful.
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Category: Improving Oneself
