(Minghui.org) When I first got involved at the Falun Dafa material production site, I cautioned myself to be low-key, cooperate with fellow practitioners, and not to cause the trouble that I had previously brought upon myself because I had failed to cultivate my heart. Therefore, when I arrived there, my cultivation state was very good, and I cooperated with others very well.
My Attachments Led to Mistakes
After a while, some thoughts surfaced that I should have realized were inappropriate and eliminated them.
For example, I thought that I knew the whole production process very well and that my work was of better quality than that of other practitioners. I thought that I worked faster and hardly made mistakes. I was also a bit proud and smug upon hearing praise from others.
Then, despite my carefulness, the printing was jumbled and I wasted a lot of paper. While binding booklets, I also accidentally put the front page on the back. Fortunately, I caught the error in time, and it did not affect the finished product.
I was surprised by my poor performance and felt guilty. I calmed down and looked within for shortcomings. I found that I had bad attachments to showing off and looking down on others. I searched further and found that I had too high of an opinion of myself, thinking I had cultivated better than anyone else. Because the front page was accidentally loaded in the back, I took it as a hint that I did not position myself correctly.
In fact, my fellow practitioners had cultivated better and more solidly than I had. As I reset how I positioned myself, I changed my thinking. I went to the materials production site to study and to cooperate with other practitioners. I knew that I should cherish this opportunity to make truth-clarification materials with them.
Master said:
“Although many things aren’t thought through that comprehensively or thoroughly, if you look at it as a Dafa disciple, aren’t these situations being provided to you and giving you room in which to cultivate yourself? Isn’t it being left to you to work on and to compensate for whatever hasn’t been thought through thoroughly, or whatever you think isn’t so ideal yet? Aren’t those precisely the things that you should go and do?”(“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
After I understood my actions from the Fa, I kept my heart and mentality pure. If I did not understand something, I consulted with other practitioners. I did whatever was lacking. I also took the initiative to reprint pages that other practitioners made mistakes on. If other practitioners missed something but I saw it, then I took the initiative to do it well. With cooperation from each other, the site operated in an orderly manner.
Conflict With a “Pushy” Practitioner
A fellow practitioner once saw that the printer was idle and that I was resting. She said, “Don't let it sit idle, continue printing.” I replied, “It has already worked too long, and the machine is hot. Let it rest for a while. Let’s cherish the machine.” She yelled, “I can't allow the machine to be idle. I don't think people should be idle. I print so much in a day, and look how much you’ve printed. Keep printing!”
I was at a loss, thinking that this person was so strong-willed and that my short break did not reduce the output of the site. “I am not a child,” I thought, “I know what needs to be done and will naturally go do it.” In my heart, I did not want to accept others’ opinions or arrangements.
I replied unhappily, “You are attached to doing things. We are mainly cultivating ourselves. Only if we have cultivated ourselves well do we have the virtue to save sentient beings. If we can’t improve, we can't save people. In that case, doing more things is the same as doing nothing.”
Because I was responding with emotions while working, I didn't notice that the printer was running out of ink. I wasted a whole pile of paper and blamed myself. The pushy practitioner was so angry that her face became red. She didn’t say anything to me and stormed off. Afterward, I still thought that she was searching outward and acting completely like an ordinary person.
Master told us long ago to look inward when we encounter any conflicts. Later, I realized that nothing she showed me was accidental. It definitely came out because of my attachments. I had the problem, and Master arranged this test for me. Looking at myself carefully, I found that I was not willing to be told what to do, that I did not want to be accused, and that I just wanted to listen to pleasant words. She served as my mirror, and everything she acted out was definitely related to me.
I searched within further and found that I also had an attachment to doing things, fear of being blamed by others, and a superiority complex that loved positive attention. It was now time to fix it. I had been brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) for decades. The poison of its indoctrination can go relatively deep, so I must now disintegrate the toxins, constantly rectify myself in Dafa, and become an upright Dafa disciple.
Looking back at these experiences, I realized that conflicts are good things. They are directed at a cultivator's heart and attachments, and they serve as opportunities for us to improve. It's up to us to enlighten, to look at the conflict positively, and to truly enlighten to the Way. Therefore, when we encounter problems, we must enlighten ourselves based on Dafa instead of being caught up in arguments about who is right or wrong. This way, our heart and level can really be improved.
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Category: Improving Oneself
