(Minghui.org) Greetings revered Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
When I first heard that every practitioner involved in Minghui had to write an article on their cultivation experience to commemorate the website's 20th anniversary, I was against the idea. I was very busy with my regular job. My company recently laid off many employees and the remaining staff had to take on a lot of work. Overtime had become the norm. On top of that, Shen Yun performances were going to start in my city. There were many things I needed to get done in my limited spare time, so I put off writing this article. I figured I should be able to come up with something to write about nearer the deadline.
The next day I suddenly felt like I was under a lot of pressure. I don't know what caused it, but the feeling was so intense it knocked the wind out of me. I continued to be in this state for a few days; it was unbearable and I felt terrible. If I wrote an experience sharing article, I would have to look inside very critically. Who wants to face their own shortcomings? Only a practitioner would do so willingly. I concluded that writing an article reflecting on my current cultivation state is no different from writing a work summary report.
I then realized this was a great opportunity, something I should have done ages ago. I should review how I'm doing in cultivation right now. The first step to making progress is understanding what the problem is. I often have many plans to do this and that, but in the end I give up halfway. This has become a habit of mine. I fail to start working on something that is important right away; I always wait for the “right moment” to do it.
For instance, I frequently do my translation assignments at the last minute. I'm not able to set a regular work schedule so that I can get more things done. I wanted to do the one hour version of Exercise Two (Falun Standing Stance) for quite some time, but have not done it yet.
Not Dedicated to Minghui
I've been taught to work hard in order to get paid. Therefore, I am very dedicated in my job. However, I find it hard to have the same dedication towards my role in Minghui. Why is that so? I am content with just doing the minimum and don't try harder to do more.
When I scrutinized myself more closely, I discovered that I complete my Minghui assignments mechanically. I put aside a certain amount of time every week to translate a certain number of articles. I don't stop to think if the article I'm working on has anything to do with my cultivation or if there is something I can learn from it. I often compare myself with practitioners who slack off in their cultivation. I shouldn't look at others, but should instead set a higher standard for myself.
Taking the First Step
Every time I want to improve, it feels as if there is a mountain I need to climb over. This mountain appears insurmountable and I'm afraid to take the first step.
Master said:
“For an everyday person who does not want to practice cultivation, he will find cultivation practice simply too difficult, inconceivable, or impossible. As an everyday person, he does not want to practice cultivation and will find it very difficult.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
These words enlightened me to the cause of my problems. I've been treating these difficulties from the perspective of an ordinary person. Once I understood this principle, I knew that moment was the best opportunity for me to improve. I did the second exercise using the new hour-long music. I felt a huge burden leave my body. I should have done this a long time ago.
A few days later, I did the hour-long version of the second exercise three times in a row. I then went on to do the sitting meditation. This time I felt even more black substance was removed from my body. The intense pressure I felt a few days before disappeared.
Hint from a Door Stopper
Recently while cleaning my room, I noticed the door stopper was loose. Although it had been that way for years, I never bothered to fix it. This showed me how easy it is to develop bad habits and notions. Yet I often refuse to let go of things. If I want to upgrade my xinxing, I need to give things up.
Through writing this article, I was able to look within. I made more progress this month compared to the previous six months. I became aware that for quite some time my attitude towards cultivation and Dafa had been questionable. If I stumble, I should quickly pick myself up and move on. Writing this sharing has made me see things in a whole new light.
(Presented at the Minghui’s 20th Anniversary Fa Conference-selected and edited)
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