(Minghui.org) I am a young Dafa disciple. I started to practice Falun Dafa at a young age and am now 27-years-old. When I was young, I learned a lot from studying the Fa. My basic understanding of the Fa helped me recognize the indoctrination of the communist regime’s propaganda since 1999. I firmly understand that Falun Dafa is the most righteous Fa and the most precious thing in the world. I am blessed that I obtained this Fa.
However, online game addiction has been an issue I’ve had since my childhood. This has become the biggest obstacle in my cultivation. I wanted to quit this countless times. I once kneeled in front of Master Li's (the founder) portrait and said I would not do it again. Nevertheless, I did it again and again soon after. This bothered me so much. I often think that if I didn’t have this game addiction, my cultivation would be much better. I just failed to get rid of it. But things have recently changed.
My Addiction to the Internet Stemmed from Lust
Master said,
“Video games are really harmful to people, and not just Dafa disciples’ kids. They really draw people in and have had a negative effect on everyday people as well. They make you do poorly in your work, sleep poorly, rest poorly, and make you devoid of human affection or warmth of feeling, make you neglect your family, make students neglect their studies, and entice you and draw you in. They are contributing to humankind’s destruction.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
For a long time, I was obsessed with online games, animated shows, and TV shows. I found that all these attachments come from lust. This is a low-level attachment. It seduces you to watch, to think, let you indulge, and wastes all your time.
Earlier I realized that as soon as I started the online games, characters showing too much skin would appear. I would be affected even if there was no temptation on the surface.
In November 2019, I accidentally saw a very popular game where animals are captured for farming. I did not expect this to become a big disturbance. Before then, I stopped playing the games and watching TV series and devoted myself to Dafa projects for nearly a year-and-a-half. This was also the longest time I stayed away from this type of entertainment and concentrated on cultivation since I obtained the Fa. And I was not in school anymore; I thought I was too old to do these things.
Earlier I seemed to forget about gaming. It turned out that after looking at this game advertisement, I thought about it day and night; I even thought about buying a video game system. If it had happened a month earlier, I wouldn’t have believed that I would be disturbed in this way.
I found that the “relapse” of this Internet addiction was still rooted in lust. On the surface, it looked like the image of small animals. However, there was also a kind of lust, a mutated alien concept, within it. Two years ago, I met a girl and then broke up with her. She really liked the game I saw that day. Then I seemed to have a tendency to remember the feeling I got from playing that game as well as strong passion and lust and a lot of mutated modern concepts. I think these thoughts are strong obsessions. Nevertheless, it was beyond my control. The demon in my heart always seems to try to seduce me and makes me feel that I have the freedom to take a break.
I know in my heart that this approach was not in line with human standards. I think about the days when I was addicted to games, wasn’t eating or sleeping and lost a lot of weight. I could stay in an Internet cafe for more than a day, was sleepless at night and went to school the next day. Once, I even fell asleep on the school bus and didn’t realize the driver took the bus to the depot and locked me in it. I was also swindled for thousands of yuan playing online games. During these tribulations, I occasionally studied the Fa. However, no matter how I studied, it didn’t sink in as much as when I was a child.
Quitting the Addition to the Internet
I spent a couple of painful days trying to get rid of my Internet addiction. The process was really like what Master said,
“The same applies to surfing the net on computers and playing video games, the same principle applies. “You’re going to give it up. You give it up to let me die?” It won’t let you. “I must make you surf the net.” You don’t want to? It won’t let you work; it won’t let you study; it just makes your mind be preoccupied to play with it. It will let you play the games even in dreams if you don’t play.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
In those few days, I had been playing while dreaming and watching movies while dreaming. It tried to kill my will. I became irritable, suspicious, and emotional. Sometimes I was so addicted to it that I even felt that I didn’t have any other attachments to the world. Why did I meet with such difficulties? I tried to ask help from Master, but didn’t find a solution. I also knew in my heart that this was a test that I have to pass, but because I failed it so many times before, I was afraid.
When the karma was running wild in my mind and about to pull me to spend money on games, I felt that I could not hold on. At night, I remembered that I hadn’t practiced the Falun Dafa exercises that day so I started to do them. I didn’t have any expectations.
When the practice music started, a thought came to my mind: playing the game is giving away my fruition status; isn’t that what I’m doing? If I play, I’ll go to someone else’s world as a sentient being. If I don’t play, I can reach consummation. What do I really want?
I suddenly found that I didn’t want to play anymore; that stubborn thing teasing my mind was gone. I continued on finishing the rest of the exercises. My heart never felt quite like this before. Later, I went to study the Fa. The things that aggravated me for so many days seemed unable to reach me. I knew very well that it was Master Li who helped me so I could understand the Fa.
The following day, I had another thought: what’s the point of life if I’m not eating well, not watching movies or not playing games. I knew these thoughts came from the karmic elements in myself. The karma was dying because I was no longer tempted by it. It felt useless. I said that I had been living an interesting life. I am a being that obtained the Fa and I have to be responsible. Doing those things delayed my offering salvation to people.
Master said,
“Some people think that life would be boring without emotion—no more movies, no more interest in finding attractive companions, no more craving tasty foods—it’d be so boring. I will tell you, though, that this is how it looks when you view it from the standpoint of an ordinary person. If you ascend to higher realms, you will discover the beautiful state of those realms, and you will discover that everything is better than here in the human world. So much so that no words will be able to describe how beautiful it is up there. But if you want to enjoy that beauty, you will have to rid yourself of the emotion-driven, ordinary attachments you have to human interests. Only when you abandon ordinary human attachments will you get better things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Founding Ceremony of the Singaporean Falun Dafa Association,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. I)
I am very clear that time is urgent and should not be wasted anymore. If I spend time on ordinary people’s entertainment, I will delay saving sentient beings. Thank you, Master, for your kindness and compassion! Practitioners must do the three things well and walk straight on the path of Fa-rectification!
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2019/12/13/青年弟子戒除游戏瘾好的修炼体会-396791.html
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Category: Improving Oneself
