(Minghui.org) It snowed a lot in New York recently, and the roads became slippery. I had three minor accidents in one week. In the last one, my car was stuck in a snowbank for an hour.
My husband said, “This is just like your cultivation status—you seem to be stuck.” His words reminded me to look inward.
I recalled my thoughts during the incident. The most pervasive feeling was fear; I was afraid of getting injured or even dying. Fear is one of our fundamental attachments that most practitioners have when we first start to cultivate. I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2003 during the SARS outbreak because of fear. I knew that Dafa could protect me, so I began practicing.
When my car began sliding uncontrollably my first thought was to ask Master for help. I immediately said, “Falun Dafa is good.” I repeatedly said it, but my car remained stuck in the snowbank. So I stopped. Instead of looking inward for why this happened, all I could think of was to use an everyday person's method to get the car unstuck.
During the following hour, I put twigs and rocks under the tires, and spread salt around the car. But nothing worked. I managed to turn the steering wheel and point the car in the right direction, but it slid back into the snowbank again.
When I later looked inward, I realized that I've been treating cultivation as a tool to solve problems and pass tests. I use the yardstick of how “practical and useful” I am to measure how well I'm doing in cultivation. Being useful was all I cared about. This was not genuine cultivation.
Master said,
“The reason most cultivators do not see is because they pursue seeing, which is an attachment.”
“Enlightening comes before seeing. Cultivate your mind and eliminate your karma. Once your original nature comes forth you will be able to see.” (“Why One Cannot See” Essentials for Further Advancement )
The everyday people's methods I used did not work. When I got stuck, I was not calm. Instead, I became anxious. I even started to complain, and then wept. I phoned my husband and blamed him, saying it was all his fault because he hadn't changed the tires.
When I phoned he was busy promoting Shen Yun. My call interfered with his saving people. Afterwards I felt ashamed that I didn't solve my own problem as a genuine cultivator. I had pushed away this opportunity to improve. I didn't cultivate myself or look inward.
My Wake Up Call
I've practiced for more than ten years. When I examined my cultivation, failing to look inward was one of the biggest problems. When my car began sliding a thought flashed through my mind, “What am I overlooking in my cultivation?” Instead of analyzing why it happened from a cultivation perspective, however, I tried to solve the problem using everyday people's methods.
My cultivation at the media company is the same. All I care about is doing things correctly and getting things done. If I didn't have loopholes in cultivation, I'd be able to do things correctly and efficiently. When one fails to look inward and eliminate attachments for a long time, we may become lazy, pursue comfort, and eventually relax in cultivation.
During a media meeting, I expressed some negative thoughts. I said, “If we still need to clarify the truth for another 20 years, I can continue doing it. But I'm not sure I can continue doing the media work for another 20 years.”
After these accidents, my thoughts have changed. If Master arranges another 20 years for me to work in the media, I will definitely do it. My worries and my lack of confidence before were because I didn't do well, and I felt it was too difficult to continue doing the media work.
As a cultivator, I should have handled my problems differently. Since I knew I was slow at work, didn't do well, and was far below the criteria that Master set for us, I should try harder, instead of laying there waiting for good results. The most important thing is that I shouldn't lose confidence—I should be persistent, day in day out, year in year out.
Master said,
“Dafa disciples’ work is not done yet. There is magnificent virtue to be had for you as Dafa disciples if you can do well in your own cultivation and take the media to the next level. It’s not easy to walk one’s path well when the going is tough, but you have done just that.” (“Congratulatory Letter,” Team Yellow Translation)
I'm attached to food so I spend a lot of time cooking. I spend time reading everyday news because I'm attached to entertainment. I even spend a lot of time repeatedly reading the articles I've written and the readers' comments. These accidents served as a wake up call and I now realize that I should cherish the time Master gave us to cultivate ourselves and save people. Every day is extremely precious.
The day after the last incident, I drove out again. As I started the car, I remembered Master's poem,
“Great enlightened beings fear no hardship, Their will is cast of diamond; Life or death, they have no attachment, Forthright and broad-minded on the road of Fa-rectification.” (“Righteous Thought, Righteous Action,” Hong Yin, Vol. II)
Above is my understanding. Please correct me if I've said anything wrong.
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Category: Improving Oneself
