(Minghui.org) Lust has haunted me since I started practicing Falun Dafa and has been a major obstacle to my cultivation. After I started to recite the Fa and look within every day, I was able to get rid of lust twice—in 2014 and, after it came back, again in 2016. But after 2016, lust again interfered with me right up until the present.
Looking back at my previous experiences of getting rid of lust and sexual desire, and reflecting on my state of cultivation then and now, I realized that it was the attachment of seeking comfort and not being diligent in cultivation that caused my issues with lust.
Dealing with Lust
I have always liked to read novels. I finished reading the Chinese classic “Romance of the Three Kingdoms” when I was in fifth grade. After starting work, I read whatever books I could get my hands on. I became obsessed with watching movies after the advent of video and DVD. I got hooked on the internet after computers became popular. Through all these forms of entertainment, I have been in contact with many unhealthy things and formed a strong attachment to lust.
Lust interfered with me a lot since I cultivated Dafa. Although I have not done anything immoral, the reflection of lust on my brain was enormous. Lustful thoughts often emerged and sometimes I would go along with them. It was very distressing because I couldn’t get rid of them or suppress them. I have suffered several major disease tribulations because of lust. I tried many methods to remove it but the results were not good.
I started to recite the Fa in 2013 and looked inwards every day to find where I could do better. My cultivation state greatly improved after a while. I started to upgrade my character rapidly and I could control the lustful thoughts. Lust became much weaker, but it was still there.
The local demand for Shen Yun DVDs was very large that year. I had an enormous job on my hands to produce enough of them. I worked on the DVDs in the morning, memorized the Fa in the afternoon, practiced the exercises in the evening, and sent righteous thoughts for two long stretches in the afternoon and evening. During any spare time or while doing housework, I listened to Minghui broadcasts. Occasionally I wrote some experience sharing articles.
Although I was very busy, I was in a good state working at this schedule every day. Over time, I found that I had forgotten about myself and entered a state of selflessness.
One night I had a dream: the luthier (maker of string instruments) next door died and the neighbors and I carried him out and buried him. I knew that Master Li was using the fact that the Chinese characters sound the same (luthier and lust), as a hint to enlighten me; the death of the musical instrument maker signified the death of my sexual desire. From that point on, I found that I had no lust and my brain seemed to have lost all memory of the concept of eroticism. I knew it was Master who helped me eliminate this bad substance.
Without lust troubling me, I was in a very positive state. I kept this up for a while but then I noticed lust and sexual desire creeping back in again. In 2015, my wife was arrested and illegally detained for nine months after she went out to raise awareness about Falun Dafa. I started a project to rescue her. I was busier than ever but I didn’t dare to let up in my personal cultivation.
I went through an unforgettable process of cultivating my character. I changed the focus of what I was doing from only rescuing my wife to saving the people involved in her detention, including 610 Office staff, prosecutors, and other law enforcement personnel. I expanded my initial purpose so that I could save sentient beings, which represented a move from selfishness, to doing things for others.
One day I was surprised to find that I’d achieved that state once again—I had no emotion and no lust. My mind was empty. I just kept doing what I should do, and I improved my character in the process. Master helped me remove those bad substances again. However, the good times didn’t last long; lust and desire soon found their way back.
Attachments Arise When I Eased Up
In 2017, I became a grandfather. I never imagined that I would take on the responsibility of looking after a baby. My busy but orderly life was disrupted, and taking care of my grandson consumed a lot of time and energy. Gradually I became less diligent in reciting the Fa and I didn’t look within as much, especially during the pandemic. I also spent less time clarifying the truth.
As soon as I eased up in my cultivation and lost my diligence, the attachment of seeking comfort arose again accompanied by emotion and lust. My sexual desire increased.
I twice removed lust in 2014 and 2016 and spent around a year without it. But over the past three years I’ve been dealing with lust again. When I thought about it, I realized that I knew how to cast off lust faster and more effectively; that is, when my mind is focused on doing the three things well every day and bettering my character, external information and other lives can’t interfere. As my character is constantly uplifted, Master would help me get rid of bad substances and reach a state without lust or sexual desire.
In our cultivation school, some practitioners only remove their attachments once while other practitioners have to get rid of them twice, three times or even more. Whether or not we can complete the entire cultivation process arranged by Master, and not be held back by lust and desire, depends on whether we can deny the attachment of seeking comfort. Our success depends on whether we can stay diligent.
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Category: Improving Oneself
