(Minghui.org) My mother suffered from poor health and began practicing Falun Dafa in July 1998 with the help of kindhearted neighbors. She went to group practice every morning and took me to group Fa-study in the evening. I was six years old. My mother said I would play while listening quietly and never interrupted anyone.
On July 20, 1999, our peaceful life was shattered as the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Falun Dafa. All media outlets began slandering the practice; my mother and fellow practitioners lost their cultivation environment. Police harassed my family many times and, out of fear, relatives and friends advised my mother to practice secretly at home.
My Life Changed Without My Mother
My mother did not hide away but instead stepped forward with courage. She went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa, and embarked upon a noble path of validating the Fa. Later, she was illegally detained in a labor camp. I didn’t understand this until many years later. All I can remember about that time is wondering why my mother was not around to take care of me.
Without my mother in my life, I became timid, indifferent and selfish. When asked if I missed her, I always blurted, “No.” When she finally returned, I kept my distance from her and blamed her for deserting me. I often threw tantrums at her for no reason. Out of guilt, she put up with my behavior.
I graduated, found a job, got married, and had a baby girl. I pursued prestige, material gain and enjoyment like an everyday person. I wanted a relaxing and well-paid job, a decent husband and a sensible child. I didn’t get what I wanted.
I didn’t understand why life was so difficult no matter how hard I tried. Because of my strong attachment to money, I hardly ever had a day off and did a lot more work than most. I lost my voice due to the overuse of my vocal cords. I spent a fortune on treatments but still couldn’t cure it even after seeing a famous specialist. Later on, I broke my lumbar spine, became bedridden and had to quit my job.
When I met my future husband, he seemed polite and humble. I thought he would be nice to me and tolerate my occasional willfulness, but after marrying him I realized I couldn’t be more wrong. He was quick-tempered and sometimes even hysterical. He never admitted being in the wrong and refused to be criticized, let alone being tolerant and considerate. My dream of a happy family was gone.
I gave birth to our daughter a year after marriage, which rekindled my hope for a beautiful life. I wanted to devote myself to her. She was very colicky. My husband often went on business trips, leaving me at a loss and not knowing how to deal with the colicky baby.
The physical and mental anguish of this situation seemed to be the last straw and I plunged into deep despair. I was introverted and tended to suppress my emotions. When it all got too much, I would collapse and go to extremes. I cried and yelled sometimes. I saw no point in living amidst endless despair.
Rediscovering Falun Dafa
One day in August 2019, my mother told me she had a terrible dream. In the dream, she looked at me and found it was no longer me. My lost heart was shaken by her words and I suddenly came to understand: I should study the Fa!
I could still recite most of the poems in Hong Yin, which was amazing. It turned out our esteemed Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder) had been watching over and protecting me all along! I snapped out of the depression and read Zhuan Falun besides taking care of the baby and housework. I had read it many years before, but never studied it with my heart.
After reading Zhuan Falun from cover to cover, I finally understood the true meaning of life. Master said:
“Living as a human being is not the purpose, and one’s life is not meant for being human—it is meant for you to return to your origin.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
A few days later, I suddenly felt heat in my back and the back pain I’d been suffering disappeared. Two weeks later, my throat began to hurt as if being cut by a knife. I understood Master was cleansing my body. A week later, my throat stopped hurting and it never hurt again.
By the end of January 2020, the CCP Virus was running rampant and society closed down. Seven people, including my mother and my in-laws, were quarantined in my small apartment for two months. My husband’s family didn’t support my practice, so I didn’t study the Fa or do the exercises for those two months.
My xinxing plummeted. When I had a disagreement with my husband, I argued with him and was sarcastic. I forgot I was a practitioner who should look within unconditionally. I came to realize it later on and understood how important regular Fa-study is.
By the end of March, the epidemic had slowed down. My husband and his parents left, and I could finally study the Fa. I felt I must make up for the time I had lost. At this time, Master gave me hints and I foresaw that something urgent would happen. I packed my luggage and got ready to take my mother and baby to live in our hometown for a while.
At this time, I thought of the mothers of several children in the community who had taken good care of me. I wanted to tell them about Falun Dafa and the persecution before I left the area. Although I had no experience, I had compassion in my heart and Master gave me the wisdom.
Being Diligent and Awakening People
I took my first step in clarifying the facts and validating the Fa. On the afternoon before I left, I persuaded three families to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
A week after returning to our hometown, the CCP Virus epidemic recurred in China, and cases increased in my city. I established a daily routine to ensure I could study the Fa and share experiences with my mother.
My mother and I have both significantly improved ourselves through sharing experiences together. When I pointed out where my mother fell short, Master gave me hints that I should not forget to look within and that helping others is also helping myself.
In the past few months, I have done real cultivation as opposed to staying at the theoretical level. My daughter had an irritable temper and often made a fuss about trivial matters. I could usually calm her down but when she was really unreasonable or ignored my repeated warnings, I couldn’t help reprimanding her loudly or threatening to hit her. In fact, I got upset. I studied the Fa and read:
“You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that teaching children requires tolerance, and I wanted to make good use of the opportunity to improve my xinxing. From then on, no matter how unreasonably my daughter behaved, I maintained a peaceful state of mind.
In early June, I watched the movie “Coming for You”. After three hours’ watching with tears streaming down my face, I couldn’t calm down. To assist Master to do Fa-rectification, numerous gods resolutely followed Master to descend to the earth, without fearing the dangers of the human world.
Falun Dafa practitioners are validating Dafa amidst the persecution. When the banner “Falun Dafa is Good!” was unfolded at Tiananmen Square in the movie, I finally understood why my mother stepped out back then. I understood how much courage must have been behind her decision, because it meant risking her family, income, freedom and even life! My soul was shocked. My tears were not caused by emotion, but the result of a cleansing in the depths of my soul.
Today is the first anniversary of my obtaining the Fa. Looking back at my path and the tests I have been through, I couldn’t help lamenting if only I had obtained Dafa earlier. Later, I read:
“The destiny is tied,And Fa what you cultivate,Study the book a lot,Consummation draws near.(“Set the Mind at Ease” from Hong Yin, Translation Version A)
I understood I must practice cultivation by taking every step steadily.
Thousands of words aren’t enough for me to express my gratitude. I can only bow to our benevolent and great Master! At the same time, I hope all Dafa practitioners can cherish this rare opportunity and be diligent.
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