(Minghui.org) Many Falun Dafa practitioners are very diligent in cultivation, and hurry to save more people. But I was very depressed and could not seem to improve my cultivation state. I became very anxious, and although I know I could not go on like this, I was unable to find the reason for this condition.
Searching for Reasons
I asked myself why I was in such a poor state of cultivation at this time. The answer that came seemed to indicate that my heart was weak, and my righteous thoughts insufficient. I determined that righteous thoughts come from Dafa.
I looked inward and found that I didn’t study the Fa enough and didn’t fully absorb the words I read. I discovered many attachments, but only on the surface, and I was not yet aware of the roots. Therefore, my xinxing level did not improve. In addition, due to the attachment of fear, I had a strong attachment to time. Many undetected human notions and an attachment to lust were recognized. I knew that I must get rid of these bad things quickly and improve.
I thus set a rule for myself that I must read one lecture of Zhuan Falun every day, and also recite the Fa. No matter how sleepy I became, I knew I had to complete this goal every day. In the meantime, I constantly worked toward eliminating attachments to comfort, oversleeping, laziness, and any factors that interfered with my Fa study, recitation, and acquisition.
I regarded myself as a true cultivator and disciplined myself strictly. This way, as soon as an incorrect state appeared, I was alert immediately, and restrained and rectified myself. As soon as I detected any human notions, I tried to immediately eliminate them and think about problems with correct Fa principles.
After persistent efforts, especially after I started to recite the Fa, I felt a sense of peace in my heart and had stronger righteous thoughts and less fear. I kept sending righteous thoughts to eliminate and disintegrate the ubiquitous monitoring by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and of all the sinister beings and factors behind it. With Master’s help, I vowed to do the three things well, be more diligent in cultivation, keep looking inward, and improve my xinxing.
Looking Inward and Saving My Family
My husband has been resisting and opposing Dafa for more than ten years. He knew that all my diseases were cured and my children had benefited in various ways after I began to cultivate Falun Dafa. But why did he always turn a blind eye to this? I thought he was being unreasonable and difficult to save because he was poisoned and scared by the CCP and dared not speak against it. I thought that we were walking two different paths, with different ambitions, different ways, and we couldn’t get along. There were often messy bad thoughts in my mind.
My fellow practitioners reminded me not to speak badly about my husband, and to send righteous thoughts for him. I also came to realize from the Fa that my husband and I had a great predestined relationship, and I should save him. I therefore tried various methods to talk to my husband about the beauty and miracles of Dafa. He has also witnessed various supernatural and miraculous things that Dafa revealed in our family, but he always used so-called scientific principles to explain the things he saw, and he didn’t recognize Dafa’s magnificence.
I seized every opportunity to validate the goodness of Dafa to my husband. I realized that on the surface I was validating Dafa to my husband, but my desire to be right and to validate myself was hiding behind these efforts. I tried to force him to say Dafa is good but he refused to do so.
When I didn’t know what to do, I remembered that Master had given us the wonderful tool of “looking inward.” When I calmed down, I realized that when I clarified the truth of Dafa to my husband, I didn’t do so with compassion for him. Over the years, I have accumulated a lot of resentment towards my husband, so I wondered how I could develop compassion for him. Due to my being poisoned by the CCP culture, I developed a competitive mentality, and my tone was argumentative and imposing when I spoke to him. I was also obsessed with the notion that my husband must change. With these attachments of mine, it was hard for my husband to accept the truth.
I began to work hard to eliminate these poisonous CCP factors and various attachments like resentment. My husband then gradually changed. His attitude became kind and he no longer said bad things about Dafa.
Once he was uncomfortable and couldn't fall asleep. I asked him to recite “Falun Dafa Is Good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance Is Good!” He said, “I’ve often recited it.” This is the first time he said this, as it was impossible in the past for him to recognize the goodness of Dafa.
My daughter asked her father to quit the CCP and he agreed. My husband is finally saved. This is Master’s compassion and Dafa’s mighty virtue.
Looking Inward I Found Attachments to My Granddaughter
My granddaughter felt uncomfortable and didn’t go to school for a few days. The family was very anxious but didn’t know what to do. She also refused to listen to me.
I then remembered that Master asked us to look inward when encountering anything. So I calmed down and found that I had a very strong attachment to my granddaughter. Because she understood the goodness of Falun Dafa and had good grades, I favored her and developed various attachments such as showing off and zealotry. I also told her about the principles of Dafa that I understood, which was a bit high level for her to accept.
I then sent righteous thoughts to eliminate these attachments. My granddaughter’s attitude changed the same day, and the next day she went to school.
Looking Inward When My Neck Hurt
Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I had very serious cervical spondylosis. I often suffered from dizziness, nausea, neck stiffness, and pain. It was hard for me to turn my neck< and my whole body felt heavy and uncomfortable. I couldn’t even make dumplings. My husband did all the heavy jobs around the house.
After I started to practice Falun Dafa, I felt the air around my neck circulating while I was doing the sitting exercise. My neck got more and more comfortable after a few episodes like this, and all my symptoms disappeared.
However, after a few days my neck hurt again. I thought maybe this was because I had worked longer hours with my head down. At the time I didn’t detect that I was thinking about this problem with human notions. After a few days, I realized that I was wrong. Master had already purified my body and there shouldn’t be any symptoms like this. This is a false image conjured up by malicious factions. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the malicious factor but it didn’t work. I then looked inward to check if any of my thoughts or behaviors didn’t conform to Dafa.
I discovered an attachment to comfort, as I asked my husband to do all these heavy jobs since my neck hurt. My husband was in poor health himself and very weak after going through three major surgeries. However, he always insisted on doing whatever work needed to be done. Even though he looked tired, he didn’t make me do it. How much consideration did I give to my husband’s condition and comfort? I didn’t have compassion for him, as I thought he had a lot of karma and had to bear it and resolve his own situation. My thoughts and behaviors were not as good as my husband, an ordinary person. I felt very guilty and was determined to eliminate this attachment of selfishness.
Before I knew it, my neck pain disappeared, as did all the symptoms of discomfort.
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Category: Improving Oneself
