(Minghui.org) I was about to get up and do the exercises at three o’clock in the morning on September 4, 2020. Suddenly, I felt dizzy, as if the world was spinning. I saw a round red eye with a yellow thing next to it that looked like a tail. It was turning so fast that I couldn’t bear it. I immediately shouted, “Please help me, Master! Please help me, Master Li Hongzhi!” I laid prone on the floor sweating profusely for nearly four hours.
I waited until 6:30 a.m. to call my son, “Please come over here as soon as you finish eating breakfast.” Sensing the urgency in my voice, my son quickly arrived at my house. I was so dizzy that I didn’t dare open my eyes. I didn’t have any food for two days, and only drank some water through a straw. On the third day, I had a stomach-ache before drinking some gruel.
I didn’t get out of bed for four days. My daughter and son asked me to go to a hospital. I answered, “No, this is happening to eliminate my karma. Please don’t tell anyone about this.” In the evening of the fourth day of sickness, the dizziness was still tormenting me. By midnight I no longer felt dizzy, but I was still weak.
During this period, I thought, “I used to be a sick person. Master removed my illnesses after I began to practice Falun Dafa. I have been free from any diseases for 21 years. At this time there must have been a big gap in my cultivation, otherwise I would not have such a serious sickness karma and such a big tribulation.”
I re-studied Master’s Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference. Master said,
“Oh, I shouldn’t use the word ‘illness’ when I’m not well. I should say I’m ‘shedding karma.’” But that’s not the idea. You really are shedding karma. Your spiritual journey has been well designed, and your body isn’t allowed to become sick. Really, it’s not allowed to be sick.”
“But that’s not it. It was caused by karma that was sent there. Then why was it sent there, of all places? Actually, it didn’t have to be sent there specifically; it could have been sent to some other place. They send it there when you have some sort of attachment, and their aim is to help you work on it.”
“As you know, in spiritual practice one is supposed to become “free of omissions.” If you have an omission, will they let you go to Heaven? So that’s what is happening.”
There is a neighbor living across the street from my house. When I talk with other neighbors for a longer time, she will go to them and say something bad about me. As other neighbors are very kind to me, they will tell me what she has said. With four or five people telling me about this, I then feel resentment toward her. I have critical thoughts about my neighbor, but I manage to say nothing to her. Unconsciously, I talk to others about her behind her back.
Master said,
“...if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
In almost every lecture, Master talks about “looking inward” but I have failed to find my attachments related to this issue.
On the fifth day, a fellow practitioner who lived far away called me. As my speech was slurred and barely audible, she hung up and called a fellow practitioner who lives near me. This practitioner then came to my house. Upon seeing me, she simply said, “Please don’t look externally, just look inward, try to find out that attachment to be removed, and destroy it completely.”
On the sixth day, I received a fellow practitioner’s article published in issue 973 of Minghui Weekly. The title of the article is “You Will be Happy When You Have No Complaints.” My heart began to wake up after reading the article. This practitioner said, “If you have thoughts of complaining, then you will have the behavior of blaming people.” This sentence referred specifically to me.
Master said:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”(“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I have also written these words of Master’s on a small piece of paper and clipped it to the mirror on the wall. The next time I read this passage, I was shocked.
I used to think that I was not that jealous. When others had more money or something, I was very happy and not jealous. This time after reading Master’s teaching, I realized that resentment and hatred belonged to jealousy. I have both resentment and hatred! Aren’t they evil? I am an evil person! What a shock! I don't want to be a wicked person, I don't want resentment, I don't want to be jealous, and I am determined to remove these things.
I have repeated them and written them down. I must remove the attachments of resentment and jealousy, and replace them with compassion. I should not be a wicked person but be a kind person by improving my character.
That night, my daughter came to visit me and happened to run into the neighbor who lived across the street. She told my daughter, “Your mother is sick but I have not visited her. When something was wrong with my foot, your mother brought food and vegetables for me.” My daughter replied, “My mother is not sick but feeling a little dizzy. Everything is okay.” My daughter then passed her words on to me. After hearing it, I just felt sorry for her. I did not have resentment and hatred.
Before practicing Dafa, I suffered from an inner ear problem called membranous labyrinth. I experienced many episodes of dizziness and other symptoms similar to my recent sickness karma elimination, but they were not as serious as this time. This time the karma eliminated was huge-- the evil factors of the old forces had arranged this! It is Master who has saved me again. Thank you, Master! Thank you, Master!
At the same time, I should also thank my neighbor who created the conditions for helping me improve my character. I will remove all kinds of attachments in cultivation and do the three things well so that I can go home with Master.
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Category: Improving Oneself
