(Minghui.org) I began memorizing the Fa teachings in March of 2020. When I cultivated myself solidly, the true meaning of Dafa revealed itself to me, and both my mind and body improved.

I could clearly feel Master Li guiding me and his careful arrangement for every improvement. I'd like to share my cultivation experience during my three months of memorizing the Fa.

I started practicing Falun Dafa outside of China in 1998. For more than 20 years, I had never dared to memorize the Fa, even though I focused on reading Zhuan Falun a lot.

Beginning in March, there were huge obstacles in my thoughts: I was always distracted when I read the Fa, and I simply couldn't study in tranquility.

Two practitioners suggested I memorize the Fa, so I tried. In the beginning, I could only memorize one or two paragraphs a day.

After memorizing more than 20 pages, I started to view it as a task to complete. It was already hard for me to read one lecture of Zhuan Falun every day, as well as other lectures, in addition to memorizing the Fa.

I really felt that time was too tight for me because I had been doing editing work on a Dafa project and had children to take care of. So I started thinking about giving up my memorization.

Additionally, I was too slow, and I didn't know how long it would take to finish the book. I then suddenly was able to memorize four paragraphs in one day, which was several times faster than usual!

Master's Hint: It’s Not Enough to Just Memorize the Fa

I thought Master had helped me because I’d become discouraged. When I was pleased with what I had accomplished, however, my elementary-aged daughter warned me with a serious look on her face, “Mom, I want to tell you that just memorizing the Fa is not enough. You have to cultivate yourself to improve your xinxing.”

I was shocked by her words. I couldn't believe they were from a little girl. It was obvious that Master was using her mouth to warn me that I must cultivate and look inward, otherwise it would be very dangerous.

Miracles Are Revealed When I Cultivate Solidly

I couldn't find time to read the articles on the Minghui website because I was usually too busy. I thought it was enough to just study the Fa. I also assumed the situation in China was different from outside of China, so I went to the extreme of not reading Minghui articles at all.

But a practitioner who liked to read Minghui articles always forwarded some to me. I was unhappy with her, thinking she was forcing me to read. I later realized that maybe it was Master telling me through her to let go of my stubbornness and improve quickly.

I didn't have an environment for group study and cultivation sharing and had been busy doing things at home for a long time. I had mistaken completing tasks as cultivation, which had caused constant family conflicts. The articles she sent me were actually what Master wanted me to read. As I searched inward, I realized what my problems were and wished I had read those articles earlier.

Since the practitioner had been encouraging me to read Minghui articles for a while, I decided to start reading the ones she had recommended. She also sent a few articles about memorizing the Fa.

I thought I would put those suggestions into practice, so I quietly memorized one more paragraph that day. Although it was just such a little change, I experienced a big improvement in the sitting meditation that night.

My legs didn't hurt, even though it had been painful to sit with my legs crossed for more than 20 years. I meditated for an hour and felt so comfortable!

What surprised me even more was the Fa that I memorized the next morning reflected my progress of the previous day. Master says in Lecture One of Zhuan Falun, “Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform.”

I was stunned—it was as if Master was speaking directly to me. This explained the tremendous change in my sitting meditation the day before.

I was so excited because I finally felt I knew how to cultivate. From then on, I looked forward to memorizing the Fa and did so willingly. I also came to realize the importance of looking within.

Eliminating My Extreme Hatred for Injustice

I had thought that it was natural to “abhor injustice.” This showed that I could discern good from bad and uphold justice. Until one day, a practitioner in charge of production for a media program called and told me that my article was too crude.

She asked me to polish it and use more polite language. I immediately felt defensive and said, “My goal is to help the illiterate and elderly in the rural areas understand. I have been working hard to fix my problem of paying too much attention to being eloquent. This has been a process in my cultivation.”

I believed she was wrong, that she was too concerned with the superficial literary aspect and ignored the essence of the article.

But afterward, I wondered why I was so angry at what she said if I was right. I realized that something was wrong with me, and there must be an attachment behind it.

I then realized my attachment of not wanting to be criticized. Her criticism made me angry. And there seemed to be a rock pressing against my heart. That night, she called me again, and I apologized to her and told her I realized my ego was too strong.

I opened up my heart to communicate with her about how I had changed my thoughts and found my attachment. Suddenly, she interrupted me and said, “A saying came to my mind, ‘to hate injustice like one hates an enemy,’ I was afraid that I would forget it, so I interrupted you to tell you.”

When I heard the phrase “to hate injustice like one hates an enemy,” I suddenly woke up: That was it. Master asked her to caution me. At that moment, the rock pressing against my heart was suddenly removed. I told her how grateful I was for her feedback.

It turned out that this was all Master's arrangement to dig out my attachment. It is very deceptive to “hate injustice like one hates an enemy.”

This notion made me unable to tolerate people that were different from me or the things that I thought were bad. I tended to look down on people, to think highly of myself, and did not allow others to question or challenge me.

I often fell into the role of being a noble person who could resist evil. So I felt I could see through others’ intentions and pointed out their mistakes. With a strong sense of self-righteousness, the feeling of hatred seemed reasonable. I didn't feel that there was a major problem with me, which made me look outwards all the time.

I understood a truth after passing the test. We have to find out the real cause of a conflict, that deep-rooted notion or attachment, and eliminate it.

I came to realize that all the things I encountered that made me feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or hurt were all good because they were great opportunities for me to cultivate my xinxing and improve myself. I thank those who have caused conflicts and troubles for me.

Eliminating My Attachment of Pursuit

The coordinator of my project suddenly announced at an online meeting, without discussing it with me in advance, that I would take on the job of news editor in addition to my original responsibilities.

I immediately thought: “I take care of my children by myself since my husband works out of town. It's impossible for me to take on any more!” I was angry and refused to take on the added responsibility. I felt I couldn't keep up with time-sensitive news reports due to conditions at home.

I had been a supplemental editor with less stringent time requirements, handling articles about education, health, and business.

I wondered why that decision had been made. After the incident, I suddenly realized that I was not selfless, that the reason I cooperated was to get recognized and be understood.

My attachment of pursuit was exposed. I clearly remember that, after the meeting, I read the following:

“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

It suddenly dawned on me. I knew that Master had pointed out my attachment.

Just forgiving the coordinator was not enough. Only when the conflict irritated me and touched my attachment of pursuit, could I truly improve my xinxing.

Digging deeper into the attachment enabled me to see it more clearly so that I could get rid of it. An obvious change occurred in my body after I had improved my xinxing.

I often felt that Master was purifying my body, and my body felt warm from head to toe when I was memorizing the Fa, cooking, or writing articles. When sending forth righteous thoughts, I could feel the energy field was very strong.

I felt very warm, which had never happened before. I felt my body vibrating a few times as well. I thought it was an earthquake at first, but then I knew the vibrations had come from within.

Getting Rid of Jealousy

One day a salesperson (also a Dafa practitioner) on our team signed the first advertisement contract with a client after the start of the coronavirus pandemic. She made a point of notifying everyone on the team.

People congratulated her and were happy for her, but I didn't say a word because I thought she was self-centered. My first thought was to wonder why someone like her was so lucky.

I thought being congratulated would make her complacent and would do more harm than good. I thought I was right because we’d worked with someone like her before, and that person got into big trouble.

So I did not say a word, thinking, “What's so good about signing an advertising contract? Show off!”

It was strange—the term “show off” was very familiar to me. I suddenly remembered that those words were mentioned when Master talked about jealousy.

I was stunned and realized that my response to the practitioner showed my jealousy. No wonder I was unhappy and thought it was unfair for her to have signed the first contract after the pandemic.

What was even worse was that this jealousy had made me look for her shortcomings and reasons to prove I was right. My jealousy was hidden for so many years because I didn't look inward.

I was glad that I finally discovered that attachment, and I came to realize these attachments were not the real me, but they were hidden in me, and they were alive.

They would protect themselves from being discovered by letting me continue to judge right from wrong with human notions and to look for reasons to prove how bad the other party was and how right I was.

Every time thereafter, before I decided if something was right or wrong, I would ask myself if I was trapped in human notions about right or wrong, or if I was looking for evidence to prove that I was right in order to cover up some attachments. If I protected or covered up the attachments, I would see that this was letting them control and manipulate me.

After I discovered the jealousy within me, Master took away most of it, but I still needed to be alert to its stubbornness and eliminate it layer by layer. Soon afterward, I ran into another tribulation.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

In one Minghui article that the practitioner sent to me, it seemed that the author was very conceited, only pointing out other practitioners’ problems. It seemed to me that he was putting himself in a high place and very arrogant. I was worried about the author and thought I saw his problem.

As soon as I thought about it this way, however, my stomach hurt suddenly. I knew something must be wrong with me, so I immediately looked within.

I realized the author was my mirror. When I saw his arrogance, I realized that I, too, was arrogant and complacent. I was used to picking out others' faults, and this was a manifestation of jealousy. I told Master in my heart that I was wrong and I would eliminate the jealousy within me.

I felt I had dealt with my attachment, but here I was thinking that the author had some shortcomings. In fact, it was because I couldn't believe what had happened was really arranged by Master for me to improve.

Amazingly, when I enlightened to this but still had doubts, the practitioner who had sent me the article sent me another article. I was stunned when I saw the title: “Getting Rid of Jealousy Layer After Layer.”

The article was tailor-made for me. At that moment, I felt Master was by my side, always caring for me. He knows my thoughts and kept arranging opportunities for my improvement.

I then called the practitioner to thank her for sending me such good articles. She was stunned, saying that this article appeared suddenly while she searched online. She thought it was good and sent it to me without thinking too much about it.

Only then did I know how predestined I was with this practitioner whom I used to dislike. It was such a precious relationship arranged by Master.

I have benefited a lot from memorizing the Fa and cultivating myself solidly for three months. I have been able to look inward and dig deep into my attachments when encountering contradictions.

I now experience regular breakthroughs in improving my xinxing. In particular, I experienced a huge change in my body after I discovered jealousy and got rid of it.

Master said,

“If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

I now memorize one to two pages of Zhuan Falun every day depending on how much time I have. Sometimes, I can only memorize one paragraph, though.

I know that I am making progress, although I still have a lot to improve on. I am really grateful to Master for the improvements I've made!

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Category: Improving Oneself