(Minghui.org) After the coronavirus outbreak in early 2020, there were no tourists from other countries. I lost my job as a result. I was not anxious because the tourism industry was not stable anyway. I assumed that the pandemic would be over in six months or at most a year, so I decided to spend more time on Dafa projects.
I worked on two projects, as a reporter and a translator. For a long time, I hadn’t done a good job, in terms of quality or quantity. I wanted to use the time I stayed at home to make a breakthrough.
I was busy and often felt tired. I knew I needed to make a breakthrough in my cultivation but I simply could not. I realized it was time to improve in cultivation by studying the Fa more.
I scheduled my Fa-study twice a day to read Zhuan Falun in the morning and other lectures in the evening. I began studying the Fa and doing the exercises with other practitioners online. After some time, I felt that I had improved.
The pandemic lockdown impacted most projects I participated in. Experience-sharing conferences, parades, exhibitions, festivals, and other events were canceled. This significantly reduced the topics I could report on. When I wanted to write something about the pandemic, most interviewees refused.
In addition to my usual translation project, the only thing that I could do was to distribute informational materials to mailboxes. I began to slack off in cultivation and no longer put my heart into saving people.
Then the situation in Hong Kong and the U.S. election became hot. I was deeply attracted and surfed the Internet for news every day. I gradually developed an attachment of relying on an everyday person to end the persecution. From the perspective of the Fa, I knew the attachment to when things ended was a big loophole. However, I could not help watching the news. I made excuses that I needed to understand what was going on in the world.
After the U.S. election, I was a little disappointed. I saw my strong attachment to world events and to when the persecution would end. I didn’t use the time I had to stay at home to save people. I calmed down and looked inward. I realized I was driven by human feelings and notions. What exactly were human feelings and notions then?
Master said,
“So then for a human being what’s the meaning of life? It's to experience the feeling you get from being attached to self-interest and enjoying the course of a human life soaked in emotion. Think about how pitiful that is, and what kind of feeling that really is. They’re happy when they get something and miserable when they lose it; when they eat meat they find it tasty, and when they eat candy they find it sweet... but in the human world there’s also bitter, biting, and painful things, there are the feelings young people have which come from emotional attachments, and then there are the feelings people in different social strata have as they chase after, gain, or lose things over the course of their lives--even though those gains and losses aren’t something that really come from effort. That’s how people are when they live in this world. People are so pitiable! And yet people just can’t see through this so-called “reality,” nor do they want to.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. VI)
Master also said,
“What I was just saying was meant to tell you that the origins of one’s thoughts are in fact extremely complex. In this world a person merely goes about enjoying the course of life. I have said in the past that people are pitiable, for all that a person is doing in this world is merely enjoying the feelings and sensations that are brought to him by living the course of his life. My putting it this way is quite accurate. And why do I say so? Though people think that they are in charge of themselves, deciding what they want to do, the truth is, they are merely pursuing certain feelings as a result of postnatally formed habits and attachments that stem from their likings. And that’s all it is. Whereas what’s really at work, leading that person to want to do something, are factors behind the scenes, which are utilizing the person’s habits, attachments, notions, desires, and such things. Such is the true state of the human body, with the person merely enjoying those feelings and sensations that come about as a result of the life process: when you are given something sweet, you experience the sweetness; given something bitter, you feel the bitterness; given something spicy, you taste the spiciness; you feel awful when suffering befalls you; and you know joy when you are blessed with happiness. (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
As I practiced and experienced different cultivation stages over the years, I thought I found my fundamental attachments and removed them. However, all those attachments surfaced again.
I realized I still had a hidden attachment of selfishness and how much I cared about my ego. In the past, selfishness hid behind other attachments: fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. This time, it reflected in various human feelings and notions. When I felt something was wrong, I used human methods to adjust myself and get satisfied. After all, I used a human way of thinking to judge things.
Human notions are not my true self. If my main consciousness is strong enough, I will distinguish human notions and my true self, and if my head is clear, it will lead to a stronger main consciousness.
I asked myself, I studied the Fa every day, but did I obtain the Fa? Didn’t I interpret the Fa with human notions? Why couldn’t I cultivate solidly? When I answered all these questions, I understood what it meant to melt into the Fa. That is, we should act according to the Fa. After I understood this, I was much clearer and I was able to focus when I studied the Fa.
I cannot yet keep every thought on the Fa, but I know where I need to improve.
Not long ago, my practice site’s coordinator encouraged us to write experience-sharing articles. I didn’t want to write because I felt I didn’t do well. Suddenly I realized that I was using my feelings to judge what to do again. I realized I should remove this notion by seizing this wrong thought and eliminate it. I appreciate this cultivation opportunity arranged by Master.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
