(Minghui.org) I was born in the 1980s and grew up in an intellectual family with a good financial situation. Growing up, I developed many shortcomings.
I was selfish, indifferent, willful, and arrogant, but I didn’t realize it. Instead, I thought I had good morals and a sense of responsibility, which was much better than my peers.
It wasn’t until I began practicing Dafa that I gradually realized my problems.
A Tense Relationship with My In-laws Became Harmonious
Along with studying the Fa and practicing a genuine cultivation practice, my xinxing improved, and my relationship with the people around me changed. Let me share the story of my family.
My husband’s hometown is in the countryside, and my mother-in-law’s hygiene habits were not good. Every time she came to my home, I complaining to her.
Once, I upset her so much that she rolled on the ground. Another time, because of a trivial matter, I quarreled with my in-laws and they became very upset and left my home.
My father-in-law even got sick after returning home. My other in-laws also knew that I had a bad temper.
I never wanted to go with my husband to his hometown, and even if I went, I didn’t help with anything, and I didn’t like to communicate with anyone.
Even with this type of behavior, I didn’t feel anything was wrong with me. However, everything changed once I began practicing Falun Dafa.
The first time I visited my husband’s hometown after practicing Dafa was to celebrate my father-in-law’s 70th birthday. Relatives, friends and villagers came that day, and there were hundreds of people.
The host asked my father-in-law to say a few words, and surprisingly, he said in front of everyone that he had conflicts with me in the past, and had now let them go.
I felt like I had been hit in the head. My face was hot, and I wanted to find a hole to crawl into and hide.
In my opinion, family conflicts should not be publicized, but my father-in-law publicized our conflicts on such a public occasion. My self-esteem was seriously hurt.
But I had to hold my temper and accompany my relatives and friends who came to attend the banquet. I cried several times when there was no one around.
When I thought about it, I felt angry. But I understood in my heart that this incident was for eliminating my attachment to saving face and reputation.
While crying, I used Master Li’s (Dafa’s founder) Fa to enlighten and tried to think about the problem from the perspective of my father-in-law: he had no bad intentions, he just wanted to express that he had let it go, and he didn’t realize it would hurt me.
I kept telling myself that I was a cultivator and should not be angry with my father-in-law and that I should let go of my attachment of saving face and other past unhappy feelings. I told myself that I should get along well with my in-laws.
The next day, I adjusted my mindset, as if nothing had happened, and talked with my husband's parents kindly. My father-in-law was very happy but he had no idea what kind of pain I experienced the previous day.
During this visit, I thought that I could no longer be like a guest or an outsider as before. One day, after a meal, I offered to wash the dishes.
Because there were a lot of pots, bowls, and pans that needed to be washed, I washed them for more than two hours, which made my back ache. I saw my husband playing mahjong outside, which made me even more aggravated.
I complained to my father-in-law at night, saying that I had never done this kind of work before, and I cried aggrievedly while talking. Despite this, I insisted on washing the dishes later.
Although attachments of fearing tiredness, aggravation, complaining, and grievances would come up from time to time, Master said that cultivators should be good people wherever they go, and I should do what a daughter-in-law is supposed to do.
I should help my in-laws with the housework and be respectful. Besides, a cultivator shouldn’t be afraid of hardship, whether it is mental or physical, as suffering can eliminate karma.
Master said that we should take hardship as pleasure. In this way, nearly three years have passed, and I take the initiative to wash the dishes every time I visit my husband's parents.
Now I wear an apron after each meal and wash dishes happily. After I am done washing, I also clean up the stove, and I don't feel tired at all.
My father-in-law often asked me to rest, and I would insist on working with my mother-in-law so that things are done quickly.
During the Chinese New Year festival this year, one day when I was washing dishes at my in-law’s home, my husband’s cousin came to help; and on another day, my husband’s nephew’s wife came to help. Both of them had already done the three withdrawals.
This could never have happened before. Nowadays, young people like playing, and they would play cards or mahjong in the yard after a meal.
I sighed with emotion: When Dafa disciples have done a good job, it can rectify the surrounding environment,
Just as Master said: “Puts a stop to its downward slide.” (“Illuminating All” in Hong Yin II, translation version A)
I felt more seriously about the importance of cultivating myself well, which is not only validating Dafa but also saving the lives around me.
As I have practiced Dafa, I am no longer as high-minded as before, and I no longer close myself up because of looking down on others. I am also now willing to communicate with people.
I now treat my husband’s relatives and friends as my own relatives and friends, chatting and joking with them. When I visit them, I take the initiative to help clean up, keep smiling, and clarify the truth to them at the right time.
Sometimes I ask my mother-in-law to accompany me on a walk in the village while handing out truth clarification materials. When neighbors see us talking and laughing, they say that I have changed a lot.
My father-in-law is diligent and capable, has strong self-esteem, but is also very stubborn. After I upset him and forced him to leave my home, I didn’t contact him for a year or two, and he told my mother-in-law that he would never return to my home.
Since practicing Dafa, I often called my mother-in-law to ask if she needed anything, and I would also greet my father-in-law and sincerely suggest he pay attention to his health and not tire himself out.
My mother-in-law fell ill several times, and I invited her to stay with us while getting tests, seeing a doctor and recuperating. I told her the truth about Dafa and read the Fa to her every day.
She saw the changes in me, and so, believed in Dafa very much. As a result, the cysts on her neck and the hematomas on her lumbar spine no longer hurt.
I knew that Dafa eliminated some of my mother-in-law’s karma. I asked her to tell my father-in-law that Falun Dafa is the Buddha Fa and teaches people to be good.
When there is a conflict between my father-in-law and my husband, I enlighten my husband and ask him to try to understand things from my father-in-law's perspective.
My father-in-law is a farmer and is passionate about farming. He plants a lot of crops.
In order to sell vegetables, he often left home at three o’clock in the morning with a cart full of vegetables, traveling down a big steep slope. My husband felt this was too dangerous, so he didn’t want his father to farm anymore, and wanted his parents to live with us.
But my father-in-law disagreed, which made my husband very angry. He felt his father was selfish and did not consider his feelings.
The two of them quarreled whenever they talked about this issue, and my husband became angry to the point that he yelled and screamed. I understood that my father-in-law is used to being free in the countryside.
I said to my husband: “You are kind to your parents, but you should not tie your parents to you and impose your kindness on them. Do you know what they really want?
“Also, you didn’t pay attention to the way you do things and yelled at them when you lost your temper. How could they accept what you said?
“Talk to them kindly and peacefully. If you are worried about your father’s safety, tell him to grow fewer vegetables, and suggest he pay special attention to his safety when going downhill. He will understand you.”
My husband gradually accepted my advice and stopped trying to force my father-in-law.
My Husband Changed His Attitude Towards Dafa
During the 2020 Chinese New Year festival, we invited my parents and my husband's parents to come to our home, and my father-in-law happily accepted the invitation. We happily celebrated the New Year together.
Later that same year, my father-in-law had pain in his abdomen, and he was unable to eat. My mother-in-law also lost sight in one eye.
We brought them to stay in our home. This time they stayed for more than a month while my husband took them to the hospital for treatment.
I also took the time to read the Fa to them. I also showed my father-in-law the video of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and the movie “Coming For You”.
My father-in-law’s previous generations were landlords. His grandfather was forced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to commit suicide by jumping into a river, and his father and mother were starved to death when he was little.
After he read the “Nine Commentaries”, he said: “What is said here is true.”
My father-in-law had an examination in the hospital, and they found a large cyst on his kidney. Because the pandemic was severe at the time, the hospital was unable to perform surgery and told him to wait until May.
I knew he would not want to stay at my home any longer, as he missed his home and his vegetable field.
Considering my mother-in-law’s eye was in a stable condition, I suggested my husband take them home. My husband was unwilling and wanted to take the opportunity to keep them.
I advised him: “Your father’s mind is not here; if you force him to stay, he will be in a bad mood, which will affect his health.”
So my husband took his elderly parents back home. Later, I called my mother-in-law and asked how they were.
She said that my father-in-law’s abdomen didn’t hurt anymore. I knew it was the miraculous power of Dafa.
When I first started practicing Dafa, my husband strongly opposed it. Not only did he burn my books, he also threatened to take away our child.
He once even called the police to report me. Later I realized this was caused by my failure to do a good job in many areas of my cultivation.
In particular, his misunderstanding of Dafa was deepened because I didn’t treat him compassionately when his attitude towards Dafa was bad.
At that time, I had a big misunderstanding: I felt that my husband did not allow me to practice Dafa and did not respect my belief, the most important thing in my life. On the surface, I had tried to safeguard Dafa, but in fact, I was safeguarding my strong sense of self.
This was caused by inadequate Fa-study at the time. After a stalemate of a year, I began to realize that there was something wrong with my approach and thinking, which did not meet Dafa’s requirements of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Master asked Dafa disciples to be compassionate, even to the ones who persecute Dafa. How could I not treat my husband kindly and push him to the opposite side and ruin him?
In fact, my husband had been helping me improve my xinxing and had been urging me to look inward and see my problems in this seemingly extreme way. After I figured it out, I felt the ice in my heart melt, and the thick shell that prevented me from treating him well in the name of Dafa disappeared.
I felt sorry for him for what he must have been feeling during the past year, his heart must have felt very bitter. So I began to change myself.
I focused on being less self-centered. I used to fight with him if he did not do what I wanted.
Instead, I tried to treat him as gently and considerately as the traditional Chinese woman mentioned by Master.
I cared for him and loved him inwardly. Although there were still conflicts, I would often remember that I am a Dafa cultivator.
When facing conflicts, I should look inward and change myself first, look more at my husband’s strengths, and understand and tolerate him more.
My husband is energetic and very motivated, with strong career ambitions. I used to complain that he spent little time with me and our child, and I would often hold him back.
After practicing Dafa, I fully supported him. Apart from doing my own job, I wholeheartedly look after and educate our child, and balance the various relationships in the family so that my husband is no longer distracted by family matters and can devote himself to his work.
When he encounters troubles at work, I enlighten him to the principles of Dafa and let him take the right path and be kind to colleagues.
Our family atmosphere has become more and more harmonious, and my husband has become more and more attached to our family. His respect for me also increased exponentially.
He often praised me for educating our child well and often said that he was the most blessed person. He has gradually become calm, cool-headed and reasonable, and is no longer irritable, impulsive, and domineering.
In particular, his attitude towards Dafa has changed a lot, and I feel that he now recognizes Dafa from the bottom of his heart and supports my cultivation. However, the CCP’s cruel persecution of Dafa worries him.
Our Nanny Understood the Beauty of Dafa
Not long ago I was chatting with our nanny at home.
She said sincerely: “Although I did not study and practice Dafa, sometimes when I looked at your attitude and way of being, I felt that I was following you to learn and practice Dafa.”
It’s been more than five years since she first came to our home. She has witnessed the tremendous changes in me, going from an ordinary person to a cultivator.
She understood the truth of Dafa and did the three withdrawals. I feel lucky to be a Dafa disciple in the final period of the Fa-rectification.
Dafa has constantly purified me. Master guides me on the path of returning to my true origin, and everyone around me receives the blessings of the Buddha Fa.
I sincerely thank Master and Dafa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
