(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in early 2012. Looking back at my cultivation journey over the past nine years, I felt Master’s protection, and experienced his hints at all times. I experienced the preciousness of Dafa at the beginning. Then, I became calm and rational. I didn’t know how to interpret the Fa at the beginning, and then gradually experienced insights from the Fa. I learned how to look within, and understood the preciousness of elevating in the Fa after I had cultivated for a while. Master’s immense grace cannot be explained in mere words. I decided to cultivate diligently.
I used to suffer painful menstrual cramps. Master purified my body after I started practicing Falun Dafa, and the pain disappeared. But, I felt pain with the same intensity again three months later. Actually, it happened so I would cultivate my heart and eliminate karma. I didn’t realize it until much later on.
Master said,
“Your spiritual journey has been well designed, and your body isn’t allowed to become sick. Really, it’s not allowed to be sick. That’s because no illness is allowed to invade you now; any pathogen would be killed by the positive energy you have. But people do create karma, and that karma will manifest in your body in a way that mimics an ailment. If the karma manifests in your nose, you will be stuffed up or have a runny nose, which might lead you to think, “Oh, I’ve got a cold.” You think that you’ve got a cold (Master chuckles), but it’s not a cold. If the karma manifests in your stomach, you will have a stomachache, and think “Oh dear, it must be something I ate.” (Master chuckles) But that’s not it. It was caused by karma that was sent there. Then why was it sent there, of all places? Actually, it didn’t have to be sent there specifically; it could have been sent to some other place. They send it there when you have some sort of attachment, and their aim is to help you work on it.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
I didn’t quite understand what Master meant, because I just started practicing Dafa. Master gave me hints, but I didn’t understand what he was telling me.
Looking Within and Finding Attachments
My brother, also a practitioner, kept reminding me to look inward. I spent more time studying the Fa and started to look within. I found all sorts of attachments such as showing off, lust and desire, combativeness, jealousy, seeking personal interests, zealotry, seeking comfort, and fear. I must get rid of them.
“…Examine each and every deed, Accomplishing is cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
I no longer listened to the everyday people music and stopped watching television (TV). I didn’t use WeChat and gradually gave up purchasing clothes. I cultivated speech, and didn’t say things casually.
My menstrual cramps lessened after some time. However, when strong attachments came up, such as being domineering when dealing with my husband, a non-practitioner, or I criticized him, the cramps appeared again. When I found the reason and let go of the attachments I no longer felt the pain. But many attachments would appear when I was not vigilant, such as showing off and not cultivating speech. My body would feel discomfort when my attachments showed up. Through many tests and failures and thanks to Master’s hints, the cramps finally went away for good.
Attachments: Tiny Red Spot Getting Larger
A tiny red spot appeared on my left foot in 2016. It was itchy. I scratched it from time to time. It looked like ringworm and became as big as one cent coin. I even had nightmares or saw dirty and smelly public toilets in my dream sometimes.
Were there any attachments I had to let go of? I looked within and wondered if they were connected to my attachment of seeking self-interest. At a high level, money and possessions were regarded as dirt. My husband worked in the government department and accepted bribes – such as gifts and money. So I bought gifts worth the same amount of money and donated them. As long as he accepted expensive gifts, I would donate money. Gradually he stopped accepting gifts. Then the ringworm was not itchy. But not long after, it became itchier and grew bigger. I looked within and found a lot of attachments that seemed not directly related to the cause of the ringworm.
After a while the ringworm spread to the whole surface of my foot. I kept looking within and got rid of many attachments. But, I didn’t completely recover. I scratched it from time to time and slowly it scabbed into a thick crust and became dark. Whenever an attachment needed to be gotten rid of, it became itchy or painful. When I let go of the attachment, it became good for a while. Then one day it became painful and uncomfortable again. When I got rid of it, the pain stopped. So, when my foot became sore, I looked within and rectified myself. When I was not able to find my attachments, Master would give me hints. Thus, I could let go of attachments and desires one by one. I passed the tests one after another. The ringworm peeled one layer of skin after another. My xinxing improved a lot after so many years. Yet the ringworm didn’t recover completely.
One day my foot became swollen and the pain worsened. I didn’t know why. I had been cultivating well. I looked within and didn’t find the problem.
One day this sentence appeared in my dream: “This project is illegal.” The name of my husband’s friend kept coming up in my dreams. I remembered that we invested 200,000 yuan in his project which was illegal. I got an investment return of 300,000 yuan. This was a large amount and had been so for many years. I was even unaware of it. I had made a lot of karma. No wonder my foot became so painful. It was time to solve the problem. So I donated the money to an orphanage.
I felt relieved and knew that a big chunk of karma had been dissolved. Sure enough the swelling of my foot was gone. The ringworm became smaller. But, several weeks later the ringworm area became itchy again and bled when I scratched it. What was the attachment this time?
I saw my late mother in a dream who was holding a big package and said to me, “Someone sent me a lot of money.” She received about 60,000 yuan from my uncle for having registered him in my mother’s household in my mother’s hometown. So, my uncle got an extra amount of demolition fee. Wasn’t it cheating? I donated about 70,000 yuan to the orphanage the next day. My foot pain disappeared.
But it became extremely painful a few days later. I felt it must have something to do with money. I remembered that we bribed a leader of a university with 50,000 yuan for accepting my son to the university if he passed certain entrance scores using company money. My husband also bought me an Apple laptop and a gold-plated watch, also using company money. So, I again donated 70,000 yuan to the orphanage.
Then, I had a dream. When the class bell rang, I ran to the classroom upstairs. The head teacher in my high school stepped down from the podium with a big smile on her face and said, “You came back!” The whole class applauded warmly. I went to my seat proudly. Master was encouraging me.
Cultivation is serious. “No loss, no gain.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) – I am exposing my shortcomings, not to promote donation or kind deeds, but to share the process of my cultivation amidst these tribulations.
Master said,
“The Three Religions stress cultivating with non-action,But at first improper intention 'tis with-action;A focus on charitable works is still action,Remove all attachments for true non-action.” (“Non-action,” Hong Yin)
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Category: Improving Oneself
