(Minghui.org) I am experiencing a test of sickness karma again. It appears to be an illness I suffered before I began to practice Falun Dafa. I thought I had passed this test after I started practicing Dafa and had forgotten about it. I didn’t know that the old forces stayed hidden while feeding on my attachments, which eventually caused this tribulation.
I was pregnant with my fourth child when my doctor announced that I had come down with lupus. Both my doctor and my husband suggested abortion, but I thought that since I had been cultivating for 10 years, I should treasure this little Falun Dafa practitioner who was yet to be born. I didn’t follow their suggestion. My child was born without any problems, but I was admitted to a hospital due to poor health.
Neglecting Fa Study and Looking Within
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I first looked within and identified my shortcomings. I was released from the hospital after my health improved. I thought I had passed this test. However, it came back again within a week. I was found to have an extremely low blood platelet count, had a high fever, and noticed blood in my mucus and bowels. My husband was scared and urged me to go see a doctor. I told him to give me some time and looked within again.
I asked myself if I had done the three things. The answer was “I did them, but with failing grades.” I often missed the time for sending forth righteous thoughts and didn’t make them up. I also failed to study the Fa regularly. Although I claimed to have studied Zhuan Falun countless times, I had not memorized “On Dafa” yet.
I am involved in several truth-clarification projects but have not devoted any time to them. I often watch independent media channels on social media while doing the projects and thought I was smart. Moreover, doing the exercises has often been on the backburner and squeezed out of my schedule when things got busy.
I knew I wasn’t in a good state. Ever since the pandemic started, we haven’t been abel to meet for group exercises. For a short time, I participated in the online group exercise at 3:30 a.m. but spent my evenings on my cell phone, watching these media channels. I followed things like the U.S. presidential election, the child prodigy’s prophecy, etc. and got excited. I also shared them on Facebook. Of course I couldn’t get up early to do the morning exercises.
When I spent more time on my phone than doing the three things, I got “sick” again. After realizing it, I immediately canceled all my media channel subscriptions and uninstalled Facebook and YouTube the next day. However, the old forces wouldn’t let me go. My device continued to play the videos downloaded over the past few years while I was in the ICU. I told the old forces that I didn’t want them anymore, but they wouldn’t give me a break and continued to play them.
The meaningless videos I had watched on YouTube had interfered with my doing the three things. How could I deserve the title of a Falun Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period? How could I offer salvation to sentient beings when I am in such a state? I even resorted to these media channels to gain understandings of the Fa instead of concentrating on my own Fa study to gain my own understandings. Isn’t this sabotaging the Fa? I was shocked after realizing this. How could I have gone so far? Fellow practitioners try to clarify the truth with independent media channels. How could I be so confused? Wasn’t this dangerous?
The Old Forces Refuse to Let Go
I wanted to correct myself right away. A fellow practitioner invited me to study the Fa together using my phone. The old forces told the fellow practitioner, whose celestial eye was open, “Today is the day she dies. This is the last time she studies the Fa.” My fellow practitioner refused to recognize this arrangement. We sent forth righteous thoughts together after our Fa study. I also contacted a few other practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for me. My fellow practitioner heard the old forces cry nervously, “She has reinforcements! Hurry, we need to get our weapons...”
I spent that night in the ICU. When I woke up, the nurse told me that my heart had stopped in the middle of the night and my brain was dead for a couple of minutes. My fellow practitioner told me what she had seen with her celestial eye: “The old forces wouldn’t leave. Master covered you with a shield at first. We could not enter either, because you had to go through a process under the shield. As long as you improved, the shield would enlarge.”
I really felt it when my fellow practitioners joined the rescue as they had promised and battled as one body, sending pure righteous thoughts. The dark crowd of the old forces was shattered. The light of Buddha Law penetrated into the shield, which slowly enlarged.
Even though I couldn’t see the beings outside the shield, I told them the principles of Falun Dafa in my mind. I admitted my shortcomings and expressed my determination to correct myself and fulfill the mission of a Falun Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification. I forbade them from harming my body because I needed it to help Master save sentient beings until the day of the Fa-rectification of the human world. I didn’t mind accepting my punishment on that day, but as a Falun Dafa practitioner I have full access to divine powers to eliminate those who try to stop me from fulfilling my mission before then.
As I put my palm in front of my chest and recited the formula for sending forth righteous thoughts out loud, countless Falun rotated inside the shield while radiating golden rays. My fellow practitioner told me that some of the old forces still wouldn’t leave, and I could use the form of benevolent resolution Master had taught us in the 2004 New York Fa Conference. I followed her advice. The atmosphere inside and outside the shield became peaceful after that. My fellow practitioner reminded me to stay alert, because the old forces could still deceive me.
She was right. All of a sudden, I couldn’t move my arm. My nurse looked scared. She ran to tell the doctor. I cried out loud, “Master, Master Li Hongzhi, please save me!” As soon as I uttered these words, I could move my arm again. Tears came to my eyes. I knew Master had been with me every second and had protected me.
Both my doctor and my nurse said that I was lucky to recover so quickly. They saw me read a book with a yellow cover every day and do my exercises. I gave my Falun Dafa bookmark to my nurse and thanked them for their work during the past six days.
I have realized that I have to catch up immediately. I hurried to write this sharing article, hoping to alert fellow practitioners who had been addicted to independent media channels like me. Please feel free to point out anything inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
