(Minghui.org) Listening to the song “The Path of Return” (“Hui Gui Lu”), would stir up questions in my mind. The song starts with: “On the endless path of human life, when will we return home? Reincarnating for thousands of years on earth, we don't know how much we suffer.”
The song prompted me to ask myself, “What is the purpose of life? Why are we alive? Why is there birth, old age, illness, and death? Do we live just to suffer and live in delusion?” Many questions had always puzzled me. I was aware that we have reincarnated life after life, hurting others for fame and profit, so I would ask myself, “Do I want to live like that during this lifetime?”
I was born on the seventh day of the first lunar month in 2000. It should have been a very joyous moment for my family, but I was born with a cleft palate and only weighed 2.2 kg (about 4.9 lbs). Due to complications during labor, the doctor had to use forceps to bring me into the world. The heavens were compassionate enough to let me live because my grandmother cultivated Falun Dafa.
My mother turned her back on me because of my defect. She made trouble for my father and other family members, and she attempted to kill me. My parents divorced when I was three and I lived with my dad and grandmother. Seeing other kids with their parents, I felt sad and inferior. When people asked if my mother ever visited me, I’d stay silent. If they pressed me for an answer, I’d try to defend myself and they wouldn't inquire further.
My grandmother often read Zhuan Falun to me when I was young. I enjoyed looking at Master’s picture and often kowtowed to Master. I would also help my grandmother write “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” on small cards that we used to clarify the truth.
My family was largely against my grandmother cultivating Falun Dafa. Practitioners would come over every week to study the Fa and I’d often join in. I did not know what cultivation really was during that time. I just knew to abide by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to become a better person.
My grandmother and another practitioner told me I was fortunate to have reincarnated in a family that cultivated Falun Dafa. They said that my real mother, the one who gave birth to my main spirit, is in the heavens waiting for me to return. Although I did not know what a “main spirit” was, I believed that my real mother was in the heavens. Later, when I’d encounter a tribulation, I would look up into the sky and gaze at the stars, thinking about my mother in the heavens.
My grandmother passed away from a sickness karma tribulation in 2017. It was a tough time for me. Since my family did not understand the truth, they resented Dafa. They mistakenly said that Dafa was responsible for my grandmother’s death. I had similar thoughts during that time, but those thoughts quickly disappeared because I knew about the beauty and wonder of cultivating Dafa. But I was still very upset.
Because I was strongly influenced by the Chinese Communist Party culture, I became selfish and isolated myself. I fought for personal fame and profit, hurt others, told lies, and drank. As bad as I got, Master never gave up on me. I always remained close to another elderly lady who was a practitioner. She would tell me to abide by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and become a better person.
I finally understood that I could not continue to waste my life, so I asked her for a copy of Zhuan Falun. I started to understand the true meaning of cultivation. Cultivation is a process of returning to your original, true self, eliminating all attachments, and achieving a state of nothingness. I needed to cultivate to become more compassionate, think about others, and improve my moral standards. I also understood the relationship between karma and virtue.
I am fortunate to have obtained the Fa during the time of Last Havoc. Thank you, great, compassionate Master, for not giving up on me and for choosing and cleansing me amidst the hustle and bustle of the world. I still have many attachments that have yet to be relinquished, especially ones of emotional attachments between a man and a woman. I will eliminate these attachments, do well, cultivate my xinxing, study the Fa well, and follow Master home.
Looking back over these 21 years, I have been deluded. If someone were to ask me: “Are you happy now?” I’d answer, “Yes, because I cultivate Falun Dafa.”
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