(Minghui.org) Having fought symptoms of sickness karma for a couple of days, I woke up in bed, longing for the warmth of someone to rely on. I realized it was my notion that had led me to want someone. I strove to eliminate my notions and illusions with righteous thoughts.
A male fellow practitioner was dying from sickness karma a few years ago. He seemed to have something to say before he passed away. Another person told him he could write it down if he would like to. The man wrote, “I have had sex with five women practitioners. All of them are in prison.” I was shocked when I heard it. Another practitioner once told me, “Women practitioners seem to be more prone to stumble on this issue.” His words shook my heart. I would like to share my thoughts about women practitioners eliminating the attachment of lust.
Women usually have gentle feelings, and tend to seek help when encountering difficulties. The persecution has inflicted tremendous pressure and harm on female Falun Dafa practitioners. We subconsciously long for a safe harbor, even if it’s a temporary one. However, the evil takes advantage of this loophole to persecute woman practitioners, especially those who have lost the warmth of their family.
I have made two mistakes in the past. When a male fellow practitioner endured torture and was released from detention in 2004, I allowed him to stay at my place without hesitation, out of deep sympathy and admiration. However, unexpected things happened at night. I felt insulted and berated him in tears. He was persecuted again at a later time. I was also among a group of practitioners that was arrested. Recounting the experience, I realized that practitioners still had many attachments. Even though practitioners may have stayed steadfast in their belief, the incident wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t let him stay in my apartment.
The second mistake was in 2014, when I suffered from severe sickness karma. I was away from my home city with my son, but without any adult family member around, so I asked for help from a fellow practitioner, whom I had treated like a younger brother. In fear of losing my life to the sickness karma, I held onto his help as my last straw, but he didn’t provide any help based on an understanding of Fa, and instead showed his desire for me. I cried for Master’s help and drove him out of my door. I asked my son to recite Master’s poems together with me again and again, and finally regained strength. I blamed myself instead of this practitioner. If I hadn’t asked him for help at night, he wouldn’t have been tempted by lust.
Based on my experience, I think it’s better to avoid working closely with or seeking help from practitioners of the opposite sex, especially those who have made such mistakes before. They would probably provide more interference than help.
After these two incidents, I have never asked any male practitioner to come to my place or told any male practitioner my address. No matter how much difficulty I may run into on projects validating the Fa or in my life, I always resort to studying the Fa intensively. I strongly believe that I’m able to overcome any difficulty if I study the Fa well. These difficulties are meant for me to make improvements. Seeking others’ help wouldn’t work.
Master said,
It’s hard to endure, but you can endure it. It’s hard to do, but you can do it.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
A woman practitioner I know always called her ex-husband, who has remarried, to help with things around her house. He would stay with her sometimes. She regretted it every time, but repeatedly made the same mistake because she wanted the warm feeling of being taken care of. Her repeated regret chiseled away her willpower. She was persecuted badly, and is still in prison. Another female practitioner who had made mistakes on sex eventually died from illness.
As cultivators, we have to be able to endure, stay calm in the face of difficulties, and eliminate the notion of being helpless that urges us to seek external help. Nothing can disturb us if we stay composed. The feeling of wanting a shoulder to lean on is a human notion, and should be eliminated by cultivating ourselves.
I have been a single mother since the persecution ended my marriage. I have been driven out from my living place, and forced to move constantly. I have been depressed in the face of countless difficulties. However, I have grown stronger – from a weak woman to a cultivator – with righteous thoughts and actions, all through my cultivation according to Falun Dafa. I reminded myself that there is no shortcut to advancement, and relying on others would make me slack off. I told myself to put things on my own shoulders. What would be left for me to cultivate myself, if others could shelter me from hardship? Gradually, I broke through all the difficulties by myself and became independent. Solving problems with my own hands has given me opportunities to eliminate many attachments and cultivate solidly.
When a colleague of mine praised me for living as a single person without a single suggestion of rumor circulating about me, I told her, “If it wasn’t for my cultivation in Falun Dafa, I would have lived a miserable life.” Too many difficulties and temptations have tried to pull me down. I have painstakingly struggled out of them and walked my path according to Master’s teaching. I often tell my son with deep gratitude, “We have to thank Master for his salvation! We live in a degenerate society. Any yielding to temptations would have shattered our quiet lives and destroyed us.” My son agrees.
I know that various repair projects at home still frustrate me, but I’d rather spend the time and money than ask for help from male colleagues or male practitioners. I usually put off the problem until I find a handyman. Some handymen I found online were swindlers, but no matter who they were, I always prepared Dafa truth-clarification materials for them and helped them quit the Chinese Communist Party and its youth organizations. Under Master’s protection, my truth-clarification with them has gone smoothly.
Though a broken light, faucets, ventilator, etc. at inopportune time makes me panic, I’m determined not to ask for help from men I know, no matter how nice they are. As a cultivator, I have to be thoughtful of others, and avoid any misunderstandings. My strong determination has carried me though all these years. On the other hand, many handymen who have predestined relationship with Falun Dafa have heard the truth from me.
My ex-husband and his family have been very stingy. I got almost nothing when we divorced. When my child lived with my ex-husband’s family, his school performance dropped to the bottom of his class. My ex-husband never attended any of his teacher-parent meetings, or paid attention to our son’s schoolwork. He and his family eventually insisted on sending our son to live with me. Within a month, my son’s ranking jumped to the top of his class, and then to the top of his school. He has stayed at the top since then. We cultivate ourselves together diligently, living simple lives with little desire for material things, but filled with the joy of overcoming difficulties.
Dissolving karma can be done in one way or another. It seems to me that pursuing the warmth of a strong shoulder is equivalent to escaping hardship, which provides opportunities for us to eliminate our various attachments.
Master has told us,
“Let joy be found in hardship...The world’s miseries endured,One departs the earth a Buddha.” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin, English Translation Version A)
“On the boundless sea of Dafahardship is your ferry” (“Falun Dafa,” Hong Yin, English Translation Version A)
“You can only reach Consummation after you have abandoned all of your attachments and none of them remain.” (“Cultivation Practice is Not Political,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
The warm feelings and the “happiness” between men and women don’t last forever, because both parties have attachments and karma. It’s not until we abandon all of our attachments and none of them remain that true happiness is found.
Let’s make improvement as we study the Fa, and never disappoint Master’s compassionate salvation!
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Category: Improving Oneself
