(Minghui.org) I recently found myself preoccupied by strong feelings of resentment. Past memories would randomly surface for no apparent reason, causing a roller coaster of emotions. I would also think of people who took advantage of me in the past, and console myself with, “The me right now would not have allowed them to treat me like before, since I am more clever now.”
After I calmed down and looked within, I realized that the negative thoughts had deviated from the requirements of Dafa and were due to the attachment of resentment.
In the past, how I felt about my interactions with people depended on how well I thought my speech and behavior were. I became depressed if I thought I could have said or done something better. This negativity eventually made me begin to feel I wasn’t smart enough or that people would look down upon me.
I was also concerned that I didn’t demonstrate the wonderfulness of Falun Dafa. As a result, I blamed myself for being in a poor cultivation state. I eventually became passive and started resenting people.
On the surface, my resentment was triggered by other people.
Master Li Hongzhi (the founder of Falun Dafa) said,
“Everything in other dimensions is alive. I said this long ago, I said it in my seminars. That karma is alive, too. If you want to eliminate your karma, when you eliminate it, it will die and be gone. So will it let you do that? Will it let you kill it? It’s alive right now, so it won’t let you practice.” (“Suggestions Given at the Beijing Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting,” Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
Master’s teaching enlightened me: cultivation becomes clearer when we look for the fundamental causes of resentment. I realized that the sources of my resentment were the attachments to fame, gain, and emotion, which are living substances in other dimensions. They will fight and resist when we try to eliminate them. As a result, negative substances, such as being passive and feelings of resentment, may be reflected on the surface.
I have been cultivating for more than 20 years and should eliminate the root causes of resentment. I am grateful for Master’s compassion, which helps me recognize my shortcomings.
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Category: Improving Oneself
