(Minghui.org) My parents began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997. I was born the following year and I have been immersed in Dafa’s saving grace ever since. When I was a teenager my mom became a local coordinator. She set up our Fa-study group, helped practitioners who stopped practicing due to the persecution resume their cultivation, and also helped practitioners subjected to illness karma snap out of their tribulations.
Back then, I always followed her and I was her little helper. After we set up our home-based material production site, we began to make truth-clarification DVDs, informational materials, and amulets. We also downloaded files and put them on MP3 players.
Wherever she went, she tried to awaken people’s consciences. I was always beside her, sending forth righteous thoughts. I often went with fellow practitioners to our neighborhood areas to hand out informational materials. When a Fa-study group was set up at our home, several practitioners came to join us every night. Before I went to bed, I’d recite Hong Yin and Essentials for Further Advancement with my mom. I felt very fortunate to be a young practitioner.
As I grew older I started having more contact with everyday society and unconsciously began to pursue fame and self-interest. My behavior also started to slide. I began to date and couldn’t get over sentimentality. When I developed an attachment to playing with my cell phone, I drifted further and further away from the Fa.
Fortunately, something happened last year that alarmed me and made me realize that I was still a practitioner, someone with a mission and not just an ordinary person. I have waited for Dafa lifetime after lifetime. I can’t leave Dafa or be unworthy of Master’s saving grace.
My Mother’s Illness Tribulation Was a Wake-Up Call for Me
As soon as I heard my mother was being seriously interfered with at the end of April 2019, I asked for time off from work and returned home. When I walked into the house, I saw my mom laying in bed surrounded by practitioners sending forth righteous thoughts. One of them told me that she’d suddenly had symptoms of a cerebral hemorrhage (a stroke) and lost consciousness. Both my father and grandpa are practitioners. They knew that this was not an illness—it was the old forces who took advantage of her loopholes. They wanted to leave everything up to Master and negate the old forces’ arrangements.
Ms. He, who has very strong righteous thoughts, said, “She will be fine. This is all an illusion. Let’s keep sending forth righteous thoughts.” She and other practitioners came to our home and began to send forth righteous thoughts for my mom.
Three days after she’d lost consciousness, she had to use diapers and only drank a little milk. Because I had been away from the Fa for a while, I lacked righteous thoughts and became emotional. I often wept. There were always practitioners in our home sending forth righteous thoughts for her. Even though I wasn’t diligent in cultivation, I decided to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts with them.
Practitioners who came to send forth righteous thoughts at night studied the Fa until midnight. Many of them stayed up the entire night. Except for 4 and 5 a.m. when we were doing the exercises, they sent forth righteous thoughts every hour. I could truly feel that my home environment was very righteous.
When I did intensive Fa-study, my sorrow went away. I understood the reason my mom was in this state was forced upon her by the old forces—this was persecution. Regardless of how much it resembled a regular person’s illness, it was not an illness but rather an illusion. I needed to negate it.
I then realized that I should start by changing myself. I should let go of my attachments to my mom: “When did she wake up? Did she eat well? Was she better today than yesterday?” I stopped worrying about all that. When other people told me what she should eat nutrition-wise, that she had to be massaged every day, and which acupuncture points I should press for her, I didn’t take in any of that. I believed she would get what a true practitioner would, without my doing anything special. All these recommendations were regular people’s approaches, which don’t work for a practitioner.
With the change in my notions, I could calm down and put my heart into Fa-study. I began reading Master’s new lectures. Gradually, when I read Zhuan Falun, the main teachings of Falun Dafa, I had a new understanding of the inner meanings behind the words. I understood new principles every day and I enjoyed Fa-study.
My mom’s breathing got stronger and stronger, and she ate more. Both her left arm and leg moved more frequently than before. One practitioner told me that the day she had the stroke, her breathing was very weak. Apparently the old forces were trying to take her life.
Through my mom’s situation, local practitioners realized that it was not accidental for a coordinator to have such serious interference. While on the surface it appeared that her cultivation loopholes were seized upon by the old forces, it implied that our overall one body had problems. All of us began to look inward to rectify ourselves. At the same time, we began to send forth righteous thoughts more intensively.
A month and a day later, my mom finally regained consciousness. We all knew Master had saved her. Thank you, Master!
Finding My True Self
While my mom was unconscious, my dad and I took turns resting. I studied the Fa until 3 a.m. When I felt sleepy, I’d either wash my face or drink water, as opposed to sleeping. When I continually had some new enlightenment about a sentence or paragraph, I’d recite it. Later on, I thought: “I should recite the Fa.” I’d recited Zhuan Falun once before. I decided to recite it again.
It was quiet at night. I recited three to four pages of Zhuan Falun each day, then I read Master’s new lectures. Without noticing it, I resumed my old state of diligence. I grew up in the Fa and actively assimilated into the Fa—that was the true me, as opposed to the one sealed off by attachments and notions. I began to wake up—this consciousness was rational, as opposed to feeling helpless. Before, no matter how hard my parents tried to reason with me, I never took it to heart. This time, it was the power of Fa waking me up, stopping me from sliding down even further. I was back on track.
One day, I had a dream: I went into a filthy washroom that was connected to the reception area of a gorgeous hotel. Since I couldn’t stand the filth, I immediately left. I didn’t go into the hotel. I ended up standing in between.
My dream was so vivid. I thought: “Wasn’t it something to enlighten me?” I knew I had to leave that filthy washroom. Between a human and a god, the difference lies in one thought. If I could let go of my humanness and pursue divinity, reaching divinity wasn’t that difficult. I thought: “I want to put my heart into cultivation!”
However, I had taken several detours and committed several wrongdoings. I felt I’d let Master down. I also didn’t know if I could still catch up with Master’s Fa-rectification process. That night, when I recited the Fa, I came across Master's words,
“As long as you cultivate and make up your mind to cultivate, you will recover all of what you have lost.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I felt my body tremble. I became teary right away as I knew Master was encouraging me. He hadn’t given up on me! I felt my faith in cultivation become even stronger. I told myself not to worry about anything else but cultivation; after having stumbled, don’t just lay there, get up and go!
Cultivating My Every Thought
After my mom woke up, she couldn't move the right side of her body, so she couldn’t take care of herself. The process of helping her was also a process of cultivating myself. I had always pursued comfort. I was lazy and didn’t want to do any chores. She always tidied up my room. I also liked to sleep in. Every weekend or holiday I slept a lot. I also had an attachment to food. I craved this meal today and another tomorrow. I asked my dad to either cook or order takeouts for me.
By helping my mom, my attachment to food faded away. It didn’t matter what I ate. I also let go of my attachment to relaxing. I began to participate in doing the morning exercises. I also sent righteous thoughts at the four set times. I started to cook. Most of the time I studied the Fa with my mom. I also tried to find the time to recite the Fa on my own. I cleaned her up and made sure she was always very clean. When another practitioner saw me, she said, “You work so hard!” I smiled and responded, “Hardship is part of cultivation.”
Master said, “When you rise above the level of everyday people, you will be able to detect it.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
After I came home, since I was with practitioners every day, I stopped checking my cell phone. I used the time I used to play with it to study the Fa. I realized that when I didn’t listen to or watch regular people’s news or allow unhealthy information into my head, my mind became much clearer. When I did the sitting meditation, the wonderful feeling was something that I never experienced before.
My boyfriend was six years older than me. His profession was not as good as mine. My parents didn’t like him, but I insisted on dating him. Whenever I mentioned him, my parents and I would argue. One practitioner told me, “This could very well be emotional interference trying to drag you down.”
I wasn’t diligent in my cultivation and I refused to listen to my mom. I argued and said I was “conforming to ordinary human society” or “young people still need to start families.” When my mom had such a big tribulation, I felt it must have something to do with me. She didn’t like my boyfriend and I refused to listen to her. It became something that she couldn’t get over.
After I calmed down and carefully thought it over, I realized the seriousness of this situation. After I began dating him, my attachments flared up. I got stuck in sentimentality between a man and woman, and I developed a strong attachment to lust. I dreamed about a happy life, living in a beautiful house, driving a fancy car, and earning more money to achieve these goals. I even had the desire to own a dog! My thoughts about how to live a good life were just like a regular person’s. I realized that the root cause of my pursuing fame and self-interest was sentimentality. It turned me away from my practice and tried to destroy me!
I had to get rid of sentimentality. My boyfriend had never agreed to break up before. This time, after I said, “If you truly want what’s best for me, please respect my decision,” he said, “Sure.” He called me twice after that, but I didn’t answer. From then on we went our separate ways.
I was even more certain that I’d made the right choice.
Whatever we encounter in our cultivation is not accidental. Since my thoughts were on the Fa, I didn’t feel sad at all. The tension between my parents and me because of my ex-boyfriend was gone. That night I had a dream: My ex-boyfriend came to find me. I came down from a very high building and he said he wanted to make up. I said, “Please leave me alone.” After that, I headed back up the high building and I kept going up and up. I knew that a great obstacle in my cultivation was gone.
With more Fa-study, I clearly knew how to cultivate myself. No matter how tiny the matter was, even if someone said one sentence, if it touched my heart, I realized that this was a test I had to pass. This was also an opportunity and I must treasure it. I remembered what Master said, “...for a practitioner must be tolerant.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
When I practiced forbearance, I didn’t get into conflicts, and gradually many things did not move me. I became calmer and less emotional. This was also a process of eliminating sentimentality. Every attachment arose from sentimentality after all.
When we can set aside emotion compassion takes its place. Just as Master said,“...Compassion is the Divine’s eternal state...” (“Why Do You Reject It?” Hong Yin III)
I also formed the habit of looking at issues with righteous principles—everything turns into a good thing. Now, cultivation doesn’t seem to be that difficult.
Conclusion
I changed myself by taking Fa-study seriously. I came to truly understand why Master always told us to study more Fa, which is also the first of the three things we should do. Whether it’s taking care of my mom, dealing with harassment from Domestic Security Team officers, or my faith in Dafa, my righteous thoughts are ample and powerful.
Master said,
“At present, I am the only person in the entire world publicly teaching a righteous Fa. I have done something that no one else has ever done before, and moreover, I have opened up this door so widely in the Dharma-Ending Age. Actually, such an opportunity does not come along in one thousand years or even ten thousand years. But whether you can be saved—that is, whether or not you can cultivate—still depends upon you, yourself. What I am telling you is a principle of the immense universe.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
“And the path is narrow in our case. If you are even just a bit careless you might veer off course, and problems will follow—potentially big ones. And if you fail to find your way back, you will regret it forever.” (“Another Stern Warning”)
I’ve practiced for a long time but took a big detour. While I regret that, I also feel fortunate that I woke up. My mom’s big trial helped me to become diligent. Although she hasn’t fully recovered yet, she continues to study the Fa, do the exercises, and send righteous thoughts. Every day she shows improvement. When she was critically ill, several non-practitioners waited to see the outcome. They knew that everyone in our family practiced Dafa. Through her improvement, they've seen how amazing Falun Dafa is.
I will walk the final leg of my cultivation path well and return home with Master.
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Category: Improving Oneself
