(Minghui.org) I came to a realization a couple of months ago: no matter how much we do to clarify the truth, how well we think our project is going, how much we do the exercises, or how many people we think we have helped learn the truth, if we do not get rid of our fundamental attachments, the goal will not be reached: that is, for the persecution to end and for us to reach consummation.
I had an understanding that all of us are in an almost separate dimension, each one of us, and we need to clear out that dimension, and this includes eliminating our attachments. Until we do, the process of Fa-rectification keeps getting delayed, and each one of us is responsible for this. Master has made perfect arrangements for each of us, but we also need to do our part to make it happen. When we do not do our part, things keep getting delayed, and the practitioners who have done well and the countless beings who depend on us have to continue waiting and waiting.
I had the thought that the time to improve is now; the time to get rid of all of my fundamental attachments is now. There should be no more delays on my part. After this thought and decision on my part, several things happened during the following weeks: whenever I did something wrong, it was pointed out to me right away. This showed me that what I just did was not right and showed me a path to improvement. I will give two examples of many. I think these were two major things.
One was that for a long time I had struggled with the attachment to lust. Even though these were just thoughts, I was not strict enough with myself about eliminating them. I thought it was not a big problem and that at some point these thoughts would naturally go away. That was not the case. But when I had the thought to really eliminate this problem at the root, I started feeling all kinds of physical discomfort. A few days later, I felt a big difference and some improvement in my ability to control my thoughts in regards to the issue of lust.
The second example was even more obvious. I usually study the Fa twice a day. I study for about one hour with a group that I work with, and then in the evenings, with an online Fa study group three times a week or on my own. I often got distracted during the evening Fa study at home. It was not just that my son would do things to distract me, or that I felt that something needed my attention right away, it was a lack of ability to concentrate well enough, or the will to do so. More importantly, I lacked a realization of the importance of being fully respectful to the Fa.
About two weeks ago, I did worse during Fa study than I had at other times. I kept going into the other room to get something. I even thought I had some very important email or message that I needed to reply to right away, and since we use computers now instead of reading together in person from a book, it was tempting to just reply to a message during Fa study, and this time I actually did.
All of a sudden, in the middle of reading, I started to feel strong discomfort in my body as if I could not breathe. I felt very hot, I was sweating and I felt very weak. Luckily, I think I realized the reason right away. My first thought was that it had happened because I did not pay enough attention and lacked respect during Fa study. I felt very sad. I felt that Master had helped me by creating this tribulation at the right time. Had it been otherwise, it would have been harder for me to enlighten to it.
It was time to send forth righteous thoughts, and I felt a bit better afterwards, but it took a couple more days for me to recover. The next morning I noticed a red spot on the left side of my chest. I did not pay much attention to it. The next day I noticed the red area had become quite a bit bigger and was extremely red and a bit itchy. I still did not pay much attention to it. Over the next few days it kept getting larger, itchier and some yellow liquid started coming out. Later, as if an infection had developed, several other parts of my body close to that spot started to develop blisters with yellow dots. I guess that on the surface human level, you might think a very poisonous spider had bitten me in that spot. However, there was no bite mark, and I don’t know how a spider would have gotten to me, especially in the middle of my chest through all of my clothes. And also what were the chances that it would happen exactly the day after the episode of not focusing well on Fa study? There really are no coincidences! That would not make any sense. It is quite amazing how these arrangements are made.
Two weeks later, the red spot lost its intensity and I felt so lucky to have my shortcomings pointed out through such a lesson. For many years, I had not fully concentrated and had not been fully respectful when doing Fa study.
I feel that when I had the wish to improve, Master helped me through this tribulation to see the importance of paying attention while studying the Fa. What may seem like a small thing, or small attachment can be extremely serious. There can be no loopholes in cultivation at the very end. And I feel that the very end could happen at any time, so we need to reach the level of perfection in order to reach consummation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
