(Minghui.org) A few years ago, the area around my belly button became unbearably itchy. I could only get relief by scratching it till the skin broke, oozing blood and fluid. Just after it healed over with a scar, it would be ripped open again by another round of scratching. This went on and off for more than a year. I was looking after my daughter’s baby at the time. When carrying the baby, my top sometimes rubbed against the raw spot which caused me unbelievable pain. Even so, I was too afraid to let my daughter know.
Uncovering My Jealousy as I Looked Within
I once read a sharing by a fellow practitioner who enlightened that the cause of his stomachache was jealousy. That made me think my belly issue could also be related to jealousy. I did not think I was jealous of anyone but I realized it after I looked inside more. I sometimes had issues with my in-laws. They live in a rural village but don’t work on their land and scarcely do any paid work. Instead, they rely on their children for financial support. Furthermore, they don’t help with looking after the grandchildren. If they’d help me out by looking after the grandchildren, I could work and help to ease the financial burden on my daughter and son-in-law. I felt it was unfair that I tired myself out from having to look after the grandchildren, do the cooking, washing and cleaning as well.
It was time to concentrate on studying the Fa and look within. Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, said,
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.”(“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I felt the words were aimed at me. Didn’t I exhibit jealousy? I was ashamed that I still harbored jealousy after so many years of cultivation in Dafa. That was it; I had found the cause of my woes and the itchiness on my belly went away.
The Wonder of Looking Within
When we were eating dinner last Chinese New Year, my two-and-a-half-year-old grandson accidentally knocked against a serving plate while playing with a nutcracker. I was annoyed when I heard the loud clinking sound so I quickly grabbed the nutcracker from him. The next day when washing the plate I found a crack on its underside, but it did not look like a fresh crack. But I still thought that my grandson cracked the plate and even showed it to my daughter with an accusatory tone.
Another two days went by. While eating breakfast, one of my teeth was chipped. The chipped tooth cut into my tongue initially, causing a bit of discomfort. However, it got worse and started to hurt when I chewed; later it even hurt when I swallowed. My daughter was concerned but I told her it was nothing to worry about; I was just eliminating karma. But I knew something wasn’t right.
Later that evening, after my little grandson had gone to bed, I shared some fruit with my daughter. As I was chewing, I thought: “What’s going on? Have I said something wrong?” Then I remembered I had used that same serving plate to steam fish. I put less water in the steamer than usual so the water must have dried up very quickly and the heat must have cracked the plate. I had not noticed the crack at the time but it was now obvious. No wonder my tooth hurt–I never considered that I could have been wrong and even put the blame on such a young child.
Since I was very young, I have had the bad habit of avoiding responsibility when things go wrong. I couldn’t take any criticism so I always tried hard not to make any mistakes; I would deny it if I made one inadvertently. Thank you, Master, for revealing this bad habit of mine to me in this peculiar way. I had been wrong and regretted it very much. However, when I found the cause of my toothache, it felt better right away and the pain disappeared completely the next day.
Cultivation in Dafa is wonderful just like what Master said,
“Its broad and immense, profound inner meaning can only manifest itself to, and be experienced and understood by, practitioners who are at different levels of true cultivation. Only then can one truly see what the Fa is.” (“Broad and Immense,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
In genuine cultivation, tribulations should be seen as a good thing. I am glad I have come around to that now. Normally, I would not have been able to uncover my attachments. It was only because of tribulations that I was able to dig out those attachments and get rid of my karma along the way.
Righteous cultivation is such a wonderful, transcendent experience. Thank you, revered Master, for your everlasting and attentive care, constantly prodding me along.
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Category: Improving Oneself
