(Minghui.org) When I first began Falun Dafa cultivation in 2010, I made quick breakthroughs in my understandings of the Fa teachings. Because I started practicing Dafa quite late, I worried that I wouldn't have enough time to reach enlightenment. With Master Li Hongzhi's (Dafa’s founder) compassionate care, however, every sentence of the Fa strengthened my belief. I feel that I was granted a new life!
I understand that the principles cultivators follow may be opposite to what everyday people believe. Not only must we be able to endure the toughest hardships, but also seemingly unbearable situations. We can then achieve the cultivation state of taking hardship as joy.
I have learned a lot from spiritual refinement. I now know it is essential to cultivate every thought. I want to share my experiences through a few incidents.
Looking Inward When Family Conflicts Occur
I was making dumplings one day when my husband called and told me he wouldn’t be home for lunch as he was going to visit his hometown with his brothers and their wives. He asked me to take care of his father while he was gone. I felt my husband was being so unfair to me. After everyone left, the more I thought about it, the angrier I felt, and I no longer wanted to make dumplings.
After a while, I realized that I was wrong to be upset. I am a Dafa practitioner, not an everyday person. I have developed many ordinary attachments, such as jealousy, fear that people look down on me, and resentment. I thought I should quickly rectify myself, maintain a calm mind, and finish making the dumplings. My husband came home the next day, right after we finished eating lunch.
I greeted him and asked him to sit and said I would cook dumplings for him. In an unhappy tone, he told me not to bother. I said, “It’s OK. You must be tired after your bus trip. I will make the dumplings right away.” A potential storm disappeared with my few caring words.
In the past, I wouldn’t have behaved this way. I might have refused to talk to him and even thrown things around. Those actions often caused an argument.
Although what happened was a small thing, it reminded me that we should remove every human attachment, including the characteristics and ways of thinking that we've carried throughout our lives.
Such events are precious opportunities to improve as long as we are on the path of cultivation. In addition, when we discover a problem in ourselves and take the initiative to eliminate it, we will find that there is always a way to de-escalate a situation.
I went to a practitioner’s home one night to read the Fa teachings and returned after 9 p.m. My husband had locked his keys in the garage. He called me at least 10 times, but I didn’t answer because I didn’t have my phone with me. He didn’t believe me when I told him this, and because he had been drinking, he became aggressive. This time, I was determined not to be moved no matter what he said.
Master Li said in "Don't Argue:"
“Don't Argue
Don’t argue when people argue with youCultivation is looking within for the causeWanting to explain just feeds the attachmentBreadth of mind, unattached, brings true insight”("Don't Argue," Hong Yin III)
If I didn't handle the situation appropriately, my Fa-study that day would have been in vain.
After I parked, he began to kick my car like crazy. I was not afraid. I knew Master created this opportunity for me to improve my xinxing, as I had just been studying the Fa. I quickly went upstairs and recited, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also sent righteous thoughts and asked Master to help my husband get over his anger. He came upstairs and kicked me, muttered to himself, and then turned around and went to his room. After a while, I brought him a cup of water and saw that he was already asleep.
I learned from this incident that nothing that happens in a cultivator’s life is accidental. Conflicts are tests to pass no matter whether they are big or small. Before I became a Falun Dafa adherent, I would have argued with my spouse, and it would take a few days to get back to normal. After that incident, he doesn’t care whether I have my cell phone or not, nor does he call me during Fa-study either. From this test, I realized that as long as our every thought conforms to Dafa, we can overcome any tribulation.
Abandoning the Attachment to Self-interest
My in-laws have a house with eight rooms that sits on four acres of land in our hometown. Normally, when a mother-in-law passes away, the property should be divided between the eldest son and any brothers. However, my father-in-law gave the land to my husband’s brother and the house to his nephew and left nothing to us.
I felt it was so unfair. I had taken care of my in-laws for many years. How could my father-in-law do this? My husband also complained and asked me to talk with his father. My father-in-law told me that my husband said he didn’t want any property. When I told my husband, he was very angry because he hadn't said that.
I calmed down and thought that what happened must have something to do with me as I am a Dafa practitioner.
Master said:
“Sometimes, you think that something should be yours, and others also tell you that it is yours. Actually, it is not.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I felt we should not try to change his father's decision because it was not worth fighting with our family for the eight rooms. Besides, we couldn't take the house with us, and nobody would live there.
In fact, I understood my husband's anger as he treats his parents well and shows filial piety (devotion). No matter what, they are his family. I later realized that cultivators should not pursue things in this world; we should just focus on giving up all our attachments.
When we compassionately understand others, even the toughest problem can be resolved. After passing this test, I felt that Master had expanded my capacity to endure. If I had become caught up in self-interest and followed the principles of everyday people, I would get stuck on thinking I was right and others were wrong.
I needed to change my notions and restrain myself by conforming to Dafa's principles. As cultivators, we should endure hardships and repay our karmic debts. By doing that, we will be able to pass any test and handle things well.
Changes after Learning Falun Dafa
Before I learned the principles of Falun Dafa, I often quarreled with my husband, which disturbed our neighbors, who often called the police to complain about us. We sometimes fought for a few days and didn’t talk to each other for two to three weeks. It was really uncomfortable. I often thought about getting a divorce and cursed my husband.
When I recalled my behavior, I was ashamed at how I'd reacted to trivial matters. I was very domineering and unforgiving and had a strong attachment to competitiveness. After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I discarded all these attachments.
Master said:
“We say that when you take a step back in a conflict, you will find the seas and the skies boundless, and it will certainly be a different situation.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
One suffers when one’s attachments surface. As cultivators, we must eliminate our attachments. The path of Dafa cultivation is very narrow. However, as long as we take hardship as joy and cultivate our every thought, this path will open up and become bright.
We need to think about others first when encountering problems and strive to be good people with high moral standards. We will discard all everyday attachments, such as fame, self-interest, and harmful emotions. Although some bad thoughts may occur from time to time, we can control most of them.
My neighbors now envy me as I have a harmonious family; my children are responsible and respectful, and my husband does most of the heavy housework. If I didn’t cultivate Dafa, how could we have made such huge changes?
For the past 10 years, I have been bathed in Dafa's grace. With the compassionate care of Master Li, I have changed from being a grumpy and selfish person to a peaceful, happy, and considerate cultivator. My gratitude for Master is hard to express in words.
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Category: Improving Oneself
