(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a dance student in New York. In the past, whenever there was a xinxing conflict between my mother or my grandmother and myself, I frequently failed to measure myself with the standards of a practitioner. Whenever they said something that didn’t fit my idea or the conversation didn’t go my way, I always disagreed. It felt like I did nothing wrong, but when I really reflected on these conflicts afterwards, I regretted that I had not maintained my xinxing.
Master said,
“When people are scheming against each other, that is when the mind becomes the hardest thing to control.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
During our conversation, I just couldn’t remember to act according to the Fa. Instead, I always tried to solve problems like an ordinary person would, so I never made a breakthrough in this area.
Master’s Words Awaken Me
I returned home during a school break two months ago, and encountered the same problem again. First, I had a small conflict with my mother. We both became unhappy while discussing an issue. I still wanted to continue arguing, so when my mother finished speaking, I was about to disagree. In a split second, I remembered Master’s words:
“We have said, however, that as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted, but should hold oneself to a high standard. Thus, he thinks that Teacher has said that as practitioners we should not be the same as other people and must hold ourselves to a higher standard. He will not quarrel with those two people. But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate you psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make you improve. So he can’t get over it and it bothers him. It could be that his mind obsesses over it...” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
This paragraph of the Fa appeared in my mind very clearly, and it turned my thoughts around instantly. At first I was thinking about how to refute my mother, but Master’s words suddenly suppressed all the bad and disrespectful thoughts I had. I immediately stopped arguing with her. I finally succeeded in controlling myself.
I also had conflicts with my grandmother. My grandma was on the phone with my aunt (a non-practitioner in China). Since it was around Chinese New Year, my uncle joined the call. My grandma thanked my uncle and praised him. Upon hearing her words of appreciation, I became very uncomfortable. I remember the way my uncle behaved in the past: when my grandpa was seriously ill, grandma was the only one to take care of him (since my parents and I couldn’t go back to China due to the persecution). Every time my grandma played the recording of Master’s Fa teachings for grandpa, my uncle would stop her aggressively. He even threatened to call the police.
Because of this I disliked my uncle’s family very much. When I heard them on the phone I tried not to say anything. But when I heard my grandma thanking my uncle I couldn’t help shouting to my grandma very loudly: “Their family are all bad people...” After I stopped shouting, my grandma was quiet for a while. She then explained that my uncle helped her during that period of hardship, and that’s why she thanked them.
I still wanted to argue, but suddenly a thought appeared in my mind, “As a cultivator, I shouldn’t talk to elders like this; I was not in China during that time, so I should not criticize my uncle’s family based on my very limited understandings. Doing so would create karma for myself.”
Master’s Fa teaching again appeared in my mind, Master said,
“Every test or every tribulation is related to the matter of either progression or regression in cultivation. It is already difficult, yet still you add this self-imposed tribulation. How can you overcome it?” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I also realized that talking so loudly to grandma was wrong, and I was being disrespectful. I immediately stopped talking.
Master said,
“...since they could not see the karmic relationship of affairs, that is, whether those matters were good or bad, or what karmic relationships existed. An ordinary cultivator who has not reached such a high level cannot see these things, so he will worry that though something appears to be good on the surface, it could be a bad thing once it is done. Therefore, one does his best to practice wuwei and will not do anything so that one can avoid producing karma. This is because once karma is produced, one must eliminate it and suffer for it.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
I thought grandma would become angry because I talked to her loudly, but she remained calm.
From these two incidents, I realized that I have an attachment to defending myself, and that I’m selfish. These attachments can slowly affect, and even disturb, the behavior and thoughts of cultivators. When my attachments were exploited by the old forces I did not even notice how much my behavior deviated from the requirements of the Fa. I should try my best to melt into the Fa at all times. I should not say or do anything irresponsibly or indulge my desires and attachments. Instead, before I say or do anything, I should first check if my words and actions conform to the Fa.
Master picked us up from the abyss of hell, and resolved all the grievances from our many lifetimes, and gave us a chance to become Dafa disciples. We repeatedly reincarnated and suffered for millions of years to wait for the spread and salvation of Dafa this time. Especially for young Dafa disciples like myself, we should be more diligent in improving our words and deeds. We should all understand what Master has done for each of us disciples.
In fact, when I think about it, I feel that what I have done is far from enough. Sometimes I can be more diligent by studying the Fa a lot, but after a while I slack off and become lazy again. I regret my previous bad behavior, and how easily I followed the old forces’ arrangements. Master must have felt very sad for me. What I did was inappropriate, and I made up my mind to re-take the path that Master arranged earnestly and persist in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, strengthening my main consciousness, and correcting bad behaviors and thoughts. I must deny all the old forces’ arrangements, strictly require of myself, and fulfill what Master wants. I must firmly believe in Master and Dafa.
Master said,
“That is because the Fa is the foundation; it is what’s fundamental for Dafa disciples; it is what ensures everything; and it is the avenue by which a human being journeys toward godhood.” (“To the Australia Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I would like to end my sharing by quoting Master’s words,
“I know that after you become clear on this you will quickly catch up, but you should take fewer detours on this most magnificent, divine path; not leave reason for regret in your futures; and not fall so far behind in terms of levels. That is my hope, your hope, and the hope of the beings who are counting on you.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
If I’ve said anything inappropriate, please correct me with compassion.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2021 Orange County Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing, New York)
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