(Minghui.org) It seems that most daughter-in-laws and their mother-in-law don’t get along with each other. It’s unusual if the two don’t fight! Yet I am extremely fortunate. I am the most blessed daughter-in-law in the world because my mother-in-law is a Falun Dafa practitioner.
Forming a New Cultivation Environment
I began to practice Falun Dafa in March 1999. On July 20 that year, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting the practice. Every day, all day, the TV broadcast news was defaming Dafa. I hadn’t practiced very long, but after serious consideration, I decided to stand up for Dafa.
Even though I did not go through the Cultural Revolution, I knew the risks I faced once I stepped out to defend Falun Dafa. I was terrified by the scale of the persecution. Everyone at work was forced to take a stance. It was not enough to write a statement promising not to practice, you had to criticize the practice as well. But my mind was made up. I wrote down: “Falun Dafa has suffered an injustice” and left.
In a flash, over a decade has gone by. I was illegally detained for five years for standing up for Dafa. I lost everything and my marriage broke up. I did not practice cultivation solidly while I was persecuted. I was hurt physically and mentally. I was also puzzled about my cultivation state. Why couldn’t I have compassion and a calm mindset?
One day, I met a practitioner. His mother is a practitioner too and she is always cheerful. After I met her I understood what it meant to be serene. Before I met her, I had few opportunities to be acquainted with elderly practitioners because the persecution often separated me from other practitioners. I lacked a stable cultivation environment. My health was poor and my complexion was sallow.
The practitioner’s mother was deeply concerned about my situation. Her son was single and we complemented each other in our personalities. After careful consideration, we agreed to form a family and start a new cultivation environment. Thus, his mother became my mother-in-law.
Old Wounds Heal
I was an obedient child in my parents’ eyes. I excelled in my studies and had a stable job with a bright future. But I was fired, and my wages were withheld. I was arrested, sent to labor camps, sentenced to prison and forced to divorce because I refused to give up my belief. My mother wept until she had no tears. My father became eccentric under the high pressure. My resolute choice showed them that violence cannot make people give up their faith. My parents suffered deep pain for over ten years.
I gradually became sensitive and flew into a temper easily after I was released from prison. At times I was like gunpowder that would explode when lit. When I asked my father to renounce his Party membership, he refused and even defended the CCP. I was angry and frequently argued with him. I knew this was wrong but I could not control my temper. My mother would start to scream and shout as if she lost her senses whenever she heard me fighting with my father. The whole family was in despair all the time.
After meeting my future husband and his mother, my parents felt warm and saw that they truly cared for me. They were touched. However it was still rather difficult for both families initially when we moved in together.
My mother-in-law planned to put a statue of Master in her room. My mother immediately opposed it and made a scene later on. My mother-in-law was stunned. She and her son had practiced Dafa openly for more than ten years. When her husband was alive, he completely supported them in their faith. Her workplace also tried their best to protect them. She had never encountered such opposition before. Yet she didn’t say a word and went about taking care of the family meticulously.
My husband and I went out to work after our marriage. My mother-in-law started a new life with my parents from scratch like an elderly sister. She was hardworking, quick with her hands and feet, and was an excellent cook. She cooked delicious meals and knew how to make anything, from pastries to desserts. During Chinese new year, she prepared a feast and it was as good as if made by a professional chef. My parents never met anyone so capable. They were amazed.
The three elderly in-laws got along marvelously, and the previously forlorn house livened up. Our neighbors got to taste my mother-in-law’s fabulous cooking. My mother-in-law always has a smile on her face. Her happiness is like spring water that flows endlessly from her heart. Whoever saw her immediately cheered up. Wherever she stayed, in less than three months, neighborly relations improved.
She loved to chat and spoke in a gentle voice. She could talk about anything vividly, from happenings at home and outside, to anecdotes and interesting incidents, incorporating her knowledge and experiences as a cultivator. She showed my parents how wonderful Falun Dafa is, to the kindness of practitioners, and helped them see the lies fabricated by the CCP in order to justify their persecution of Falun Dafa.
Gradually, my parents’ attitude went through a 180 degree change. My mother deeply regretted her past, acute antagonistic view of Falun Dafa. She sincerely repented her ways on many occasions and blamed herself for believing the CCP’s lies. She renounced her membership online and wrote a solemn declaration. When CCP officials harassed us, she censured Jiang Zemin for the disaster brought to Chinese citizens as a result of his persecution citing her personal experience. She even bravely filed a criminal complaint against the former head of the CCP in her real name jointly with us.
My father changed his notions too. He realized how evil the persecution was and the benefits that Falun Dafa brought to people. He made a pretty picture frame for my mother-in-law to hang Master’s portrait. He even went to speak to CCP representatives in our district with my mother and asked them not to harass the families of Dafa practitioners.
My kind mother-in-law swept away the haze that enveloped our family in the past. At times, I am amazed when I observed my parents looking relaxed and happy, chatting with my mother-in-law who is like an older sister. This is what it is like when one truly practices Dafa! That pure compassion like crystal, that golden, joyous light, what a miracle! I am so fortunate to encounter such a predestined relationship.
Selfless Practitioner
My mother-in-law was a totally different person before practicing Dafa. Misfortunes in life turned her into one who always competed to win. She had a happy childhood, but after the communist regime took over, their family assets were confiscated. As the eldest daughter, she stopped attending school and had to go out and work to help support the family. She did many jobs, selling groceries, worked as a servant and in factories. She was smart, hardworking, and capable. Everyone loved her. However she would not let others easily take advantage of her.
Although she was smart and strong, her health deteriorated when she was in her early 40s, and she was forced to retire early. Her son contracted a rare form of liver disease and did not get better despite seeking doctors everywhere. His illness dragged on for several years and he was dying, causing despair to the family.
Her son began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. In just three months, he recovered. My husband recalled, “The book Zhuan Falun had not yet been published. I just did the exercises. Because I took medication all the time, there was a constant bitter taste in my mouth. I did not have any appetite. Just one day after doing the exercises, I wanted to eat something. Gradually, I had strength in my body and got better day by day. My body kept purging bad things, the ring on my finger turned black. Three months later, my mother asked me to carry a bag of flour from downstairs. In the past, I struggled to climb up the stairs. That day, I ran up and down, carrying three bags of flour weighing 25 kg (55 pounds) at once. My mother hugged me and said, “My son is fine!”
My mother-in-law also started to practice Falun Dafa after her son’s recovery. Soon, all her ailments vanished. One time, she felt terrible and wanted to throw up. She spat out a big mouthful of blood. She rushed to the toilet and vomited a lot. She continued to vomit into a large basin. In the end, the basin was half filled with the fresh blood she threw up. There were also black blood clots the size of eggs.
She wasn’t afraid. Her body felt hot and her mind was clear. She realized that Master was purifying her body. Her stomach began to hurt after she finished throwing up, and she began to pass black stools. This went on all that day. At night she collapsed onto the bed. The neighbors thought she was going to die.
Supported by her whole family, she did not go to the hospital and stayed at home listening to Master’s recorded lectures and Dafa music. She persisted in doing the exercises. Slowly, she was able to drink water, take liquid food, and then ate some rice. She recovered completely in six months. From then on, she turned into a new person. She put on weight and her complexion became rosy. She was always smiling too.
Her overbearing nature disappeared—instead she became jovial, warm, and caring. “Master turned me into a new person!” she said in deep gratitude. Words cannot describe the joy that filled the family.
When the CCP began to persecute Falun Dafa in 1999, my mother-in-law and other practitioners did not hesitate to appeal for Dafa. She went to Beijing several times and unfurled banners in Tiananmen Square shouting, “Falun Dafa is good! Restore my Master’s reputation!” She returned home safely. Despite the immense pressure, she came up with all kinds of ways to protect Dafa books and fellow practitioners. She spread the truth of Dafa everywhere, by sticking up messages, handing out brochures and hanging banners. Wherever she went, she clarified the truth and asked people to quit the CCP. Even when her husband passed away, her son was forced to leave home to avoid persecution and she was sentenced to prison, she never stopped doing the things required of Dafa disciples for a single day.
One time she went into an apartment building to drop off fliers. On the third floor, she heard a man shout “Who are you? Stop there!” Then she heard heavy footsteps approaching. She quickly went downstairs and asked Master for help, “Master, please stop the person!” When she looked back, she saw the man frozen on the spot, and she was able to escape.
Another time, it was very late by the time she had finished distributing fliers. She took a shortcut home and walked on a small path amid fields. Suddenly she fell into a hole filled with water. It was so dark that one could not see one’s fingers, and she was completely submerged in water. She did not know how to swim and she was plump. Just as she thought she was about to die, she shouted in her heart, “Master, save me!” A force lifted her up and her head emerged from the water. Soon her feet stepped on the ground. She climbed up slowly. She quickly bowed and thanked Master for saving her life.
My mother-in-law also helped practitioners who were persecuted. There was a female practitioner who became bedridden from torture. Her family were misled by the CCP’s propaganda against Dafa and abandoned her. My mother-in-law took on the responsibility of caring for this practitioner. She went to her house every morning, cooking meals, cleaning her body, doing the laundry, encouraging her, and studying the Fa with her. It is very tiring to take care of a bedridden person. She took care of the practitioner for several years. Although the practitioner passed away in the end, her family realized Dafa practitioners are truly good people.
Exemplary in Cultivation
I am very fortunate that my mother-in-law treats me like her own daughter and takes good care of me. When we first got married, I had terrible sickness karma and was occasionally bedridden. My mother-in-law covered me in a blanket, made porridge, and helped me get onto the right path in cultivation.
Intellectuals have a big obstacle when learning Dafa. They are stuck in their own complicated thoughts. For example, I always thought that looking within meant being able to admit I was wrong and change my ways. Thus I thought I was doing all right in cultivation. I only understood what it means to truly look inward after I met my mother-in-law.
Unlike me, she does not think too much. Her mindset is pure and she focuses on meeting the requirements of the Fa. She gets up at 3:30 a.m every day, does the exercises, and then studies the Fa. She is very disciplined and is full of energy the entire day. Whenever she runs into conflicts or problems, she does not frown and sit there thinking about it like me. She faces it calmly and resolves the problem. My husband is like that too.
Although I often think I’m cultivating, how do I fare in the basic things? I cannot get up in the morning to do the exercises. I can’t do the sitting meditation in the full lotus position. I don’t study the Fa regularly. I am always under stress, and my mind is not steady. I am stuck in the same tribulation for a long time and I am temperamental. After I got married I realized I was not in the right state of cultivation.
Master said,
“Moreover, it is not an easy thing if one wants to cultivate. I have said that this is a very serious matter. It is something beyond everyday people and more difficult than anything of everyday people.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
Indeed, cultivation is harder than anything else and is extraordinary. I have read many books written by ordinary people and know a heap of theories. Yet I did not truly obtain the Fa even though I read Zhuan Falun every day. It may seem that I constantly think of how to do the three things well, but I don’t see the attachments hidden behind every thought. Therefore I cannot grasp the profound meaning of the Fa.
Taking my mother-in-law as a role model, I decided to start from the most basic things – doing the exercises regularly in the morning, studying the Fa, and sending righteous thoughts. Morning exercises were a great challenge for me. If I managed to get up at 4:30 a.m one day, I slept in the next day. I found all sorts of excuses. My mother-in-law did not lecture me. Instead she tried her best to take on the burden of household chores so that I could finish my work sooner.
But human thoughts are cunning. When I didn’t do well, I found excuses for myself and even became reliant on my mother-in-law. I thought I could be considered a Dafa disciple who is up to the mark as I had an elderly practitioner who is so diligent looking after me and I have strong faith in Dafa. Even if I didn’t do well, gradually it no longer bothered me. My mother-in-law saw that I regarded her as a model and relied on her. She realized that she needed to let go of her emotions to her children. She would go and visit friends and relatives living in other cities from time to time and stay for two to three months. My dependence on her was greatly reduced.
Two years later, she decided to move back to her hometown permanently. Although we were reluctant to part with her, we respected her wishes.
After she left, I could actually get up at 3:30 in the morning. When the alarm went off, I got out of bed very easily. After doing the exercises, I did not feel drowsy at all for the entire day. The next day I got up on time again and did not feel tired. Ever since I began to persist in morning exercises, I felt much more energetic. My mind was also quieter when I meditated and studied the Fa.
When I look back, I realized all my previous thoughts were attachments. True wisdom does not come from racking my brains. It comes from Dafa and Master, and words cannot describe how wonderful it feels.
My husband and I now make sure we wake up to do the exercises at 3:30 a.m. Since the one hour music for holding the wheel was published, we have extended our exercises to one hour. We study the Fa in the morning and read at least one lecture of Zhuan Falun every day. We have been doing this for three years. With a good foundation in cultivation, our path in validating the Fa has become wider.
It has been three years since my mother-in-law moved back to her hometown. When I think of the past, I realized how remarkable and selfless she has been as a mother. She has shown us the compassion of a Dafa cultivator. Together we bask in Master’s mighty grace and will not let Master down in his compassionate salvation.
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