(Minghui.org) I was often troubled by my husband's hostility towards me. I thought that even though he was always in the wrong, as a cultivator I should be tolerant and understanding. I should treat him kindly in order to appeal to his decency. I tried hard, but the slightest provocation from him made me lose self-control and I always ended up arguing with him.
My thinking has undergone a fundamental change. I now understand that the way he behaves has everything to do with my shortcomings. He acts in an inappropriate way because I still fall short of the required standard for a cultivator. The righteous energy field around me does not give off adequate power to restrain him.
I reminded myself that all beings in the new universe will be wonderful and perfect, but the change needs to start with me. Coming around to that way of thinking makes my interactions with my husband a lot more pleasant and he, in response, seems more agreeable.
It seemed I accepted what Master said about this with some reservations:
“…“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?”(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” Hong Yin (III))
On the surface, I accepted that I was wrong only because I had attachments, not because I thought I was wrong. When I felt that I was right and the other person was wrong, I would take the blame grudgingly because that was the “right thing” to do, but secretly I still felt superior. This kind of coping mechanism can only work for so long before one’s temper flares again.
When I started to genuinely admit that I was wrong, my reason to turn on him was just not there anymore. Instead, I had consideration and compassion for him that transcended this human realm. As a result, he began to respect me.
The reason he acted indecently towards me in the past was that my xinxing was poor. I am confident that if our xinxing is at a high level, everything around us will naturally fall into line without our making a conscious effort to effect changes.
I also found another issue about myself. It was easy for me to accept it if someone correctly pointed out my attachment, but if they were wrong about me, it was much harder to accept. I was holding onto something that I did not want to let go of.
Master said,
“If you, as a cultivator, only let go of things superficially while beneath the surface you are still guarding and stubbornly defending something, defending your own vital self-interest from being infringed upon by others, I would say that your cultivation is fake!” (Teachings at the First Conference in North America)
Admitting I am wrong superficially while deep inside I still thought I was right, which amounts to fake cultivation, as mentioned by Master. The Fa is profound beyond any measure. The Fa you understood at a lower level may have a deeper meaning when you cultivate at a higher level.
That was my experience and I now readily admit I am often wrong and mistaken. Now when I study the Fa, I study it with an open mind, and with no preconceived ideas because whatever my understanding is at my current level is wrong when a higher level of the Fa is revealed to me.
I discovered the wonderful thing about cultivating well is that I am able to let go of all kinds of pursuits including my fervent desire to reach consummation and to gain from the power of Dafa in this physical world. All that is left for me to do is to continually cultivate myself by meeting the standards required of me at every level.
I recently had another revelation: having criticisms revealed to me from fellow practitioners is actually a good sign that my cultivation is on a good path. By contrast, if all I ever get from them is praise and adulation, I should be on high alert because it’s very likely that my cultivation is stagnating.
Another drastic departure from my cultivation practice in the past is now I don’t rank practitioners in terms of their perceived level of accomplishment in cultivation. I used to ignore advice from anyone I felt was a worse cultivator than I was. But now I put myself at the bottom and readily accept and genuinely reflect on criticisms from anyone without looking down on him or her. It’s my belief that as cultivators, we should be in our most humble state and certainly not consider ourselves to be beyond reproach.
I have practiced Falun Dafa for many years but only now do I really understand what it means to be in a true state of cultivation.
The above is my personal understanding. I am open to any feedback from fellow practitioners.
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Category: Improving Oneself
