(Minghui.org) My daughter was attending a well-known university and pursuing a desirable major, but it was not what she preferred. At that time, a close relative of ours worked in that field. If she could graduate in that major, it would be perfect, and we wouldn’t need to worry about her future career.
Such ordinary arrangements, however, don't always work out. My daughter was not really interested in that major. When she came home on winter break this year, she didn’t say much and looked very depressed. I was very disappointed. I thought I’d arranged things well for her, so this was not what I expected.
I tried to encourage her to be positive about her major. I also tried to apply Dafa’s principles in discussing this with her (since she had some understanding of Dafa). Unfortunately, it did not go well. She was still negative and was not eating or sleeping well.
I knew that all the problems I have are related to my cultivation. I looked inward and wondered if my attachment to her was too strong. But it did not seem to be the case. When school was about to start, I decided to talk to her again.
This time she was very frank and shared her true thoughts. I told her I understood but that changes couldn't be made as quickly as she wished and that she shouldn’t box herself in.
If, instead, she was willing to take a step back, she might see the sky was brighter ahead. I asked her to listen to the podcast “Recalling Master’s Grace” on Minghui radio.
While I knew this conversation wasn't solving the issue, I didn’t know where my loophole was. However, this conversation did confirm that the problem must be due to my attachment, so I continued to look inward.
The next morning when I was doing the exercises, I wondered why I always asked my daughter to step back to think about some issue. It seemed like I cared about her well-being, but why didn't I step back myself?
She has her own ideas about what she wants to do. Why didn’t I support her? Why did I always work so hard to persuade her to do it my way? Could I arrange her life for her? I was too focused on getting her to accept my way of thinking. No wonder what I said had no effect. When I thought about this, I totally understood why. I then felt a substance surrounding me vanish: So that must be the reason!
When my daughter woke up, I said I would support her ideas and be more than happy to help her reach her goals. She was very happy. Our conflict vanished that fast. Looking inward really is a magical took. I felt very optimistic!
Then, totally unexpectedly, my daughter said, “Mom, since you can step back, I can step back, too!”
We both are no longer attached to our personal ideas. The best approach is to do well on what we are currently doing. My daughter has been doing well in her studies. We don’t focus on the future too much and believe we will have the best arrangement.
I appreciate Master Li's advice. When we have a conflict, we know to look inward. But a lot of times, we do not find the real reason and might not think they are caused by our own weaknesses.
However, as long as we look inward, Master will advise us. He teaches us to “look inward,” which is a magic key. It will resolve all problems, whether they are related to health or other misfortunes. As long as we cultivate ourselves unconditionally, everything will go well.
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Category: Improving Oneself
