(Minghui.org) Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I read many romance novels. The love stories remained engraved in my heart.
My attachment to lust was very strong. I knew it was bad and dirty, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it.
Since I started practicing Falun Dafa, I paid attention to eliminating my attachment to lust. I could feel myself getting cleaner and purer.
These days, young people are very open in this regard, and so I try to reach the status of “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, do no evil”. First, I only read books about classical and traditional culture and didn’t read books or watch movies, or pictures related to sex.
I also don’t listen to popular music anymore. Instead, I only listen to Dafa music: Pudu and Jishi.
Master said,
“A person is like a container, and he is whatever he contains. All of what a person sees with the eyes and hears with the ears are violence, lust, power struggles in literary works, struggles for profit in the practical world, money worship, other manifestations of demon-nature, and so on. With his head filled with these, this kind of person is truly a bad person, no matter what he appears to be. A person’s behavior is dictated by his thoughts. With a mind full of such things, what’s a person able to do? It is only because everyone’s mind is more or less contaminated to some extent that people cannot detect the problem that has surfaced.” (“Melt Into the Fa,”Essentials for Further Advancement)
The world’s moral compass continues to decay, therefore, we should be strict with ourselves based on the requirements for cultivators. There are articles about severing sexual desires on the Minghui website, and I read them hoping to eliminate my attachment to lust.
My husband is an ordinary person. He supports Dafa and my cultivation.
When I was dismissed by my employer, arrested and our home ransacked for practicing Dafa, he didn’t hesitate to support me. However, he is an ordinary person.
When my cultivation was not up to par and I couldn’t control my thoughts about lust, this influenced my husband, and therefore we still had marital relations.
I still had the attachment. Even in my dreams, I couldn’t pass the test of lust, and every time I woke up I was very disappointed.
In order to let go of my attachment and pass the test, I spent time looking within and trying to eliminate all I was holding onto but still failed to pass the test.
Gradually, twenty years have passed and I still couldn’t pass the test of lust. I was worried, disappointed, self-critical, and felt helpless.
For many years, it was very hard for me to improve. Those who appeared in my dreams varied from people whose faces I couldn’t see, to someone I liked, to my husband. In reality, my husband is an ordinary person, and if he wants to have sex with me, what should I do?
When I was pregnant and breastfeeding, he cared for the health of our child and avoided sex. I told him unless we wanted to have a second child, we couldn’t have sex anymore.
He didn’t agree with me, even though he knew I was right. We had our second child when I was over 40 years old.
At that point, I decided to completely let go of my attachment to lust. We didn’t have sex, but in my dream, I was tested again.
It was my husband, and I didn’t pass the test. Later I realized it was not my husband and felt very sad.
I couldn’t pass the test a few times and consequently developed fear and thought I would never pass the test of lust.
However, one day I was again tested in a dream. In the dream, I struggled to resist, when suddenly I saw that it was two naked demons standing on the muddy, wet ground.
I was lying on a wooden torture device with both my arms and legs stretched and tied up. Those two demons were torturing me.
The torture equipment was like a wood plane, and when it scraped on me, it caused severe pain in that dimension. However, in this dimension, it was a response to lust.
I was very clear, but in my dream, I couldn’t move nor could I cry out. I finally cried out, “Master, please rescue me.”
“fa zheng qian kun xie e quan mie” (“The Two Hand Positions for Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts,” Essentials for Further Advancement II).
Right after that, I woke up and felt the root of my attachment to lust had been completely pulled out. I finally passed the test.
I then realized the reason I couldn’t pass the test was not only because of my xinxing, but also because of the destructive tests arranged by the evil forces. During these twenty-plus years, although I did the three things, I was affected by my attachment to comfort and couldn’t send forth righteous thoughts at the four designated times.
I didn’t study the Fa and do the exercises diligently, and thus the transformation process of my body was slow. The old forces took advantage of the loopholes in my cultivation.
Although I tried to let go of my attachment using human thoughts, I was actively looking for ways to eliminate it. Master is merciful and showed me the truth to save me.
Since then, I haven’t had any dreams regarding the test of lust, and in my life I don’t have the attachment anymore. Thank you, Master.
I write down my experiences and hope it can help others as well.
Master said,
“Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome. [Those people are] driven by human feelings and emotions way too much. If they can't even pull themselves out of this little thing, then it would seem that back then the old forces should have arranged to put them behind prison walls in Mainland China, as only under those circumstances would they correct the problem, right? I wonder how you'd behave in a brutal environment like that. Are you like this because your life is too comfortable? All those who don't remove that attachment and make excuses for their behavior are fooling themselves and trying to fool others--it's not like I've made any special arrangements for you.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. V)
The attachment to lust is a critical test caused by sentient feelings. As a cultivator, we should let it go.
I understand that as long as we resist and eliminate the attachment from our heart, instead of lying to ourselves, Master will help us have a breakthrough and achieve this. As a disciple, we should completely believe in Master.
If anything in my sharing is not based on the Fa, please point it out.
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Category: Improving Oneself
