(Minghui.org) As a Falun Dafa cultivator, I came to understand that the human attachment of resentment could not be eliminated by blindly paying attention to forbearance without making any sacrifices. Only when you can really let go of the attachment will there be no place for it to hide. In the meantime, you also eliminate selfishness. Only in this way can you truly improve and change.
Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, said,
“There is sacrifice in forbearance. Being able to make sacrifices is the result of improving in one’s cultivation.” (“Non-Omission,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
“Cultivation must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human qing and desires.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
In the past, when I developed resentment, I would recite repeatedly,
“...A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy....” (“Realms,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
I also sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate and deny this resentment. After a period of time, I felt the resentment going away. This worked every time my resentment resurfaced and I felt pretty good about this. But this resentment would pop up again when trying to overcome big xinxing tests. It was hard to maintain my xinxing at that time. However, I have been cultivating for many years and would immediately realize that I am a cultivator and only listen to Master. I then looked inward unconditionally.
I discovered that sometimes looking inward is easier said than done! Last summer, it was hot and the air conditioner was turned on in my room. Even though it was so hot my husband still insisted on using hot water to wash his hands and face. When he turned on the hot water, the boiler would start up and make a noise. I would complain to him, “The air conditioner is running and you wear a tank top and shorts, but you use hot water for everything. Isn’t that a waste?” He was mad and replied, “It’s none of your business! I just want to use hot water, so what!” Although I was very angry, I kept silent. If I kept arguing with him, there would be a fight. So I said to myself that I should bear with it. However, I was very resentful. When I saw him using hot water again, I couldn’t hold back and blurted out, “You turn on the hot water to wash your hands, but before the water was even hot, you had already finished washing. So you actually didn’t use the hot water. Aren’t you wasting hot water and gas?” He became very angry, “I told you it’s none of your business!”
Such little things like this kept occurring. I responded by just bearing it while letting the resentment build up unknowingly. As time passed, I came to realize that something was not right. Was I truly cultivating? Although I tolerated it, I became more resentful. The more I resented him, the more he annoyed me. I became alert, calmed down, and looked inward. I am a cultivator and he was an ordinary person. His actions and words were targeting my attachment. I didn’t understand this and responded with resentment. I even stopped talking to him, behaving exactly like an ordinary person. Why is it so hard to eliminate resentment? I sent righteous thoughts, practiced forbearance, and looked inward. My cultivation state would improve for a period of time, but the attachment and resentment would repeatedly resurface later when encountering conflicts.
What was the root of the resentment? I firmly believed that I could definitely remove this attachment. However, I did not fully comprehend the Fa principle because I didn’t study the Fa well and had not reached the necessary higher level of understanding. I should not care about what my husband does and should not judge if he is right or wrong. I should not even think about him and not blame him or hate him. I must just look inward and cultivate myself. I should give up all resentment toward my husband from the bottom of my heart and keep my heart unmoved. Like an Arhat, I would keep a smile at everything!
I now strive to follow this standard in my daily life and gradually I have felt more relaxed. I no longer feel annoyed when my husband turns on the hot water and makes the boiler run. The communication between us has also improved. He saw smiles on my face and became easy going too. He began helping with the housework, although I never asked him to help in the past. I was surprised when I realized that the stubborn resentment had disappeared. I now feel much more relaxed.
While studying Master’s lectures in Essentials For Further Advancement, I came across these words:
Master said,
“There is sacrifice in forbearance. Being able to make sacrifices is the result of improving in one’s cultivation.” (“Non-Omission,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
While reading this sentence, the font size for “sacrifice” appeared very big and conspicuous to me. I came to understand that Master was giving me a hint to help me understand the meaning of “sacrifice.” I had often recited this sentence of the Fa, but only paid attention to “ forbearance” and ignored the importance of “sacrifice.” “Sacrifice” is a prerequisite and fundamental. Only by being able to make sacrifices, can we really understand the true meaning of forbearance and improvement. This is exactly what I have been through during the recent process of eliminating resentment. It is a process of making sacrifices.
Thinking of this, I suddenly felt my eyes light up, as if Master opened a window to show me the wonder that was present. Doubts and questions during more than twenty years of cultivation became clear. At this moment, I am both happy and sad. The sad aspect is that I didn’t study the Fa well, so I didn’t understand the Fa well. Therefore, I had not cultivated to the proper level. The happy aspect is that Master saw that I had the confidence to eliminate resentment and arranged a cultivation path that allowed me to understand this Fa principle at a higher level.
I have come to understand that when I truly listened to Master, looked inward and gave up grievances, Master helped me to enlighten to the Fa at a higher level. In addition, I also feel that my capacity is increasing, and I once again experience the pain and joy of cultivation, which is wonderful and extraordinary. Every step of improvement that a Dafa practitioner makes in cultivation is due to Master’s compassionate protection.
Master said,
“Who Dares Renounce Human Attachments?
While the ordinary man mightlong for Immortaldom,[1]Behind the unbelievable wonderslies wrenching sorrow;It takes cultivating the mind,severing desires,casting off attachments,Lest man be lost in his ordealsand gripped with deep regret.”(Hong Yin)
When I read this poem again, I gained a new understanding.
I am very fortunate to have made new breakthroughs in cultivation, even after 26 years! Thank you, Master, for your protection and compassionate enlightenment! I would also like to thank those who made trouble for me, including my husband.
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Category: Improving Oneself
