(Minghui.org) I often had arguments with a co-worker, also a practitioner, during discussions, so I held a bias against her. I felt annoyed whenever I saw her, and I never had a good attitude when talking with her.
Not long ago, after our group Fa study, most practitioners left, but she and I stayed to talk about a work-related project, and another practitioner listened on the side. Because of my prejudice against her, I looked down on her and held a hidden resentment in my heart. I was extremely impatient the entire time. On the other hand, the two practitioners were very patient and calm. When it was getting late, I just got up in a hurry and said, “I need to go” and left.
On my way home, I was thinking about myself and realized that I was very unkind. I had a strong competitive mentality and was very indignant. I felt very bad and I said to myself, “I have cultivated for so many years. Why do I still experience such a bad state? The way I behaved must have really hurt them.” I regretted my actions and broke into tears. I sincerely repented and told Master that I would change and do better!”
Master then arranged another test for me. One day, I sent her a well-thought-out plan, for which I thought to have carefully considered all the factors. Then, she sent me another idea and asked me to consider it. I felt that she didn’t understand anything I said, and the idea she sent to me was of no use. It also seemed that her mind changed so frequently. I was so angry that I sent her several long messages. I even had a thought that I no longer wanted to work with her.
But my true side told me, “You are wrong. You cannot have this kind of attitude. Didn’t you say that you will change?” I suddenly realized that I must change! So I tried my best to reject my competing mentality, resentment, arrogance, and impatience. Then, I calmly told her, “Give me any ideas that you have, and I’ll modify the plan accordingly.”
It was amazing. As soon as I had this compassionate thought, I felt the resentment substance in me instantly disintegrate. My mind and body both felt very pleasant and I couldn’t even remember why I had the resentment toward her in the first place. When she was going home, I warmly told her, “Be careful on the road.”
Letting Go of Resentment
Our Fa study group is normally held in another practitioner’s home. The practitioner, his wife, and his mother-in-law practice Dafa, and they are all targeted and monitored by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Thus we all try to be cautious when we are at her place. However, each time I go there, I always see the husband playing on his cell phone. One time when I walked in, he warmly welcomed me, “Hey, you are here! You were coming from another practitioner’s place?” His cell phone was right there but he said the names and locations loudly and clearly. I waved my hand and pointed to his cell phone, and then walked into the room without saying anything.
After Fa study, he immediately picked up his cell phone. As he was doing something on it, he said my name, and do you want to stay and eat with us? I waved and pointed at his phone again.
I felt disturbed when I walked out, and I was complaining in my mind, “Why does he like to play on his cell phone so much? When all practitioners were present, he was talking with the cell phone on, and not thinking about others’ safety at all.”
I was then alerted that my resentment mentality appeared again. Based on the Fa, I should not have held this thought. When a practitioner has an issue, we cannot have a resentment feeling toward him. Instead, we should kindly remind him so that he can correct himself. Moreover, if we live by the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, then we can’t be touched by the evil factors, and do not need to worry like this.
Also, the practitioner’s issue might help expose my resentment mentality, so that I could eliminate it and improve. I tried hard to resist and disintegrate the substance from the resentment mentality. On my way home, I repeated Master’s Fa again and again:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.” (“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Gradually, I no longer felt disturbed and another layer of the material from my resentment mentality was eliminated.
Discuss Only Dafa Issues: Not Ordinary People’s Issues
One issue with my Fa study group was that we often ended up talking about ordinary things, such as how the gold market was doing today, what Trump or Pompeo did recently, how everyone’s business was doing, and so on. I felt that a Fa study group should not be in this state and we really should share on cultivation issues. Each time I reminded everyone about this, we would be fine for a while, but then slowly drift to discussing ordinary things again. One day, I felt really disturbed and even thought to leave.
After I arrived home, I felt that my state was not correct. My mind was full of unkind complaints and I was looking down on fellow practitioners. But I thought it was wrong for practitioners to discuss ordinary things. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do, so I studied the Fa.
Master said,
“In fact, how human science should develop is also paced according to the arrangement of history. If you want to humanly realize a certain goal, it cannot be achieved.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s Fa told me that whichever state we achieve is also a natural process. It was not coincidental that we had a state like we did and our cultivation processes were all part of it. If we achieved a great cultivation state, then there won’t be anything that we need to cultivate. So all I need to do is to live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance myself and to try to harmonize our one body, instead of being attached and focusing too much on the external environment.
Then I thought: “Since we always drifted into ordinary topics, maybe we should just study the Fa more or read Minghui articles, and not spend too much time sharing. I watched out for this during our next Fa study, and after mentioning it fellow practitioners agreed. So in the following group Fa study session, after we read two lectures of Zhuan Falun, we recited On Dafa and a few other paragraphs that we had recently memorized. We then took turns reading articles from Minghui Weekly. It was a very rewarding afternoon, and I felt the energy field was very strong.
The resentment mentality is related to the CCP indoctrination and is a bad substance in a very low-level dimension. Many other bad mentalities and actions can be derived from it, such as provoking, arguing, competing, impatience, jealousy, and so on. It can easily cause gaps among fellow practitioners, slowing down cultivation of individual practitioners or even a group of fellow practitioners. It is difficult to get to high levels if we keep such bad substances within us.
I hope that we can improve on this matter together. Let us assimilate to the principle Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and be Master’s true disciples.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
