(Minghui.org) I am from Heilongjiang province. I always had pain in my hands and feet, and no amount of treatment or medication helped. I was so young—how was I going to live the rest of my life like this? The constant pain began to affect my mental state and I felt hopeless.
In March 1999 someone suggested I try practicing Falun Dafa, saying it was very effective in treating illnesses and improving one’s health. I began to practice and my illnesses were gone in a few days! I felt so light—I was even able to ride a bicycle. For the first time in my life I finally knew what being healthy felt like!
Although I studied the Dafa books and did the exercises every day, I was fairly new and was not clear on the Fa principles, thus I didn’t know how to cultivate. I was a bachelor then, and someone introduced me a woman named Guilian. She seemed nice, so I accepted the marriage arrangement. After spending a few days with her, we moved in together without registering for marriage in April 1999.
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution on Falun Dafa in July 1999. Many new practitioners who had barely started to cultivate gave up the practice. I traveled to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa, and was arrested and taken to a forced labor camp.
After my release I found Xiaohui and told her we should go out and distribute information about Dafa and the persecution, and she agreed.
I met another practitioner, Haizhen, several days later. We worked together passing out Dafa information, and she was very nice to me. We started to have feelings for each other after a while.
Haizhen and I stayed in a two-bedroom house one night. We slept in separate rooms. In the middle of the night I heard her yell, “I’m afraid! Please come to my room.” I told her not to be afraid since we were in the same house. She said, “Please come here. I’m really afraid.”
I didn’t think much of it and went to her room. She wanted me to sleep next to her, on the same bed. There was about 13 inches of space between us. In the middle of the night, she woke me up and told me to do the exercises. I had inappropriate thoughts at the time and I tried my best to control my lustful desires—nothing happened in the end.
Several days later, Haizhen and I went out of town to take care of things and ran into Xiaohui. Xiaohui and a male practitioner had not seen each other for a long time, and they held hands like brother and sister as soon as they saw each other. I was very jealous and thought, “Male and female practitioners should not hold hands like this, no matter how close they are.”
Haizhen sensed my feelings and suggested that I stay at her place for a few days. I left angrily with Haizhen. She fell asleep on my shoulder on the way home, and I did not wake her up. We were both arrested by the police when we arrived at her place.
I was imprisoned for 14 years. I searched inward during those years and realized I was persecuted because I had not eliminated the attachments to lust and jealousy. After I was released, I learned that Haizhen had died in the detention center. I thought that perhaps Haizhen lost her life because she had not gotten rid of the same attachments.
After I was released from the prison, I constantly checked to see if had attachments to lust, jealousy, fear, and the mentality of showing-off. I immediately send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them as soon as I detect them. Many practitioners around me have not been strict with themselves, in cultivating their thoughts and impulses. They don’t pay much attention to looking inward often and unconditionally, and have harbored human attachments. They end up being harassed or persecuted by the old forces. It’s not until they are incarcerated in a forced labor camp or prison that they begin to look inward.
We cannot let Master wait for us to cultivate well. We should treat the Fa as the Teacher, be diligent in our cultivation, and keep up with the Fa-rectification. Only then will we be worthy of Master’s salvation and the title of the Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples!
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
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Category: Improving Oneself
