(Minghui.org) Before the last Chinese New Year holiday, my left knee was swollen and painful. I didn't pay attention to it and thought everything would be fine in a few days. But it got worse after the holidays. The pain was so severe that I couldn't walk.
My husband, daughter, and son wanted me to go to a hospital to have it looked at. I immediately became alert and looked inward. I thought about what my priorities were. My mind had been focused on the U.S. Election, and I was busy with the family over the Chinese New Year. Had I put enough emphasis on Fa study?
I found many attachments and shared my thoughts with other practitioners when we studied the Fa together. But my knee didn't get better. I felt confused. Why didn't it get better?
Master Gave Me a Hint
My husband and his older brother run a small factory. His brother was responsible for finances, and my husband looked after internal affairs. They have worked together like this for 20 years. We would take whatever amount of money he gave us and never fussed about it, since I considered myself a Falun Dafa practitioner. I seemed to be indifferent on the surface, but a recent experience showed me that I never let go of self-interest in my heart.
Last year, my husband told me that his brother had bought houses for his children several years before without telling us. He also gave his daughter a house that was originally bought for us with earnings from the factory. There were several houses under his son's name.
That made me very angry. If I complained about it, however, I was afraid that other practitioners would criticize me. But I couldn't let it go!
When my husband returned home one night, I couldn't hold back and argued with him about it. The more I talked about it, the angrier I became. I felt that his brother shouldn't have treated us like that.
When my husband saw my resentment, he calmly said, “Are you a practitioner? You're not as good as me after so many years of cultivation. Are you short of money? Don't you have a house to live in? A car to drive? What do you need more money for?”
I was fuming: “What do I need money for? Our son just went to college—doesn't he need money? He will have to buy a car and a house in the future.”
My husband simply replied, “Don't you keep telling me that everyone has his or her own life? You get what is yours, and you can't get what is not yours.”
I became alert: Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, was giving me a hint using my husband's mouth. I didn't see my attachment to self-interest. I needed to eliminate it and upgrade my xinxing. It was Master who used this incident to help me see my attachment.
If I didn't study the Fa, I would be living a tiresome life, constantly seeking self-interest. After letting go of the attachment, my leg felt much better, and my mind and body were relaxed.
Passing Xinxing Tests Through Genuine Cultivation
My leg started to hurt again a few days later. This time it got worse with much more swelling. I felt irritable and helpless. Why had it returned? I tried to calm down to find out what attachments I still hadn't let go of.
I realized I still had many attachments, which made me feel lost in cultivation. I listened to Minghui audio recordings of practitioners' cultivation experiences. I felt that there was a big gap between me and other practitioners and that I should cultivate myself steadily, starting with my daily life, and look at my every thought.
From that day on, I took part in the group exercises in the morning. Due to the severe swelling of my knee, I couldn’t do the fourth exercise correctly, but I insisted on finishing them. After I decided to cultivate my every thought and action, I encountered several tests the next day.
My younger brother-in-law's sister bought some cosmetics and said that it was a world-famous brand. My oldest brother-in-law's wife had bought the same cosmetics. I felt discomfort in my heart and immediately looked inward. What made me feel uncomfortable? I was jealous. So I got rid of this jealousy and felt relieved.
Another incident came up when my neighbor asked me to help dry-clean a piece of clothing for her, saying that she would pay me first. My sister-in-law said jokingly, “Don't give her money, she will spend it.”
I knew it was a joke, but I felt uncomfortable. I thought that of all my husband's four siblings, our family has the least money, and I always held a grudge about that. In fact, it is ordinary notions that cultivators need to get rid of. I thought that I needed to eliminate these notions immediately, correct myself, and become a true cultivator.
After going through a day like that, I felt much more relaxed. At night, when I listened to Master’s lecture, He said: “If a person’s xinxing level is low, his level is low.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
This sentence shook my whole body. The feeling was beyond words, and my mind suddenly became clear. I was deeply moved and muttered to myself: “Oh! It turns out that my xinxing is low. Of course! This was why I wasn't able to restrict the incorrect state of my body, including my behavior.”
I remembered that I often said this paragraph of the Fa to other practitioners. However, I didn't integrate myself into the Fa and didn't genuinely cultivate myself.
I continued to cultivate my every thought and, without realizing it, my leg recovered.
Through this incident, I truly understand that only by genuinely cultivating can I overcome tribulations and validate the wonderful aspects of Dafa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
