(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who has cultivated for more than two years. My understanding of cultivation at my level is to get over obstacles one by one and to eliminate attachments one by one under Master's compassionate guidance. I would like to share my cultivation experiences.
Letting Go of Resentment for My Husband's Family
In the past, my husband and I lived with my in-laws. My husband's elder sister and younger sister's family live better than we do, so my mother-in-law was only good to them. I didn't like to socialize much, and my mother-in-law always criticized me for it in front of my husband. If I was at home and didn't prepare meals, she got upset and threw things around. Thus, I preferred to live in my mother's home.
When our daughter was born, my in-laws were not happy it was a girl. One day my daughter and I came in from outside and happened to hear my mother-in-law asking my husband to divorce me. I was upset and quarreled with her. She drove us out of her house and threw out our belongings. We rented a place to live and later bought our own home. For several years, we did not interact with my mother-in-law.
We had lived with my in-laws for 10 years, and much of that time I was angry. Not surprisingly, I developed health problems, such as insomnia, stomach ulcers, breast hyperplasia, hemorrhoids, and heart problems.
In October 2017, my mother-in-law passed away. In February 2018, I suddenly felt exhausted, flustered, and unable to move. I went to a hospital and was told that my white blood cell count was too low, less than half of what it should be. I had a disease of the immune system, and there was no known treatment. I was hospitalized for two weeks, which didn't help. After I got home, I still couldn't move. I couldn't even hold a rice bowl and had to take seven or eight medications. At that time I was thinking, “Why is my life so terrible?”
My brother-in-law who cultivated Dafa later learned about my situation and came to tell me about it. That’s when I embarked on the road of cultivation. Dafa changed my destiny and brought me a new life.
My in-law’s family saw me go from being sick to recovering, especially my older sister-in-law, who very much approved of Dafa. She even made the “three withdrawals” (quitting the Chinese Communist Party, the Youth League, and/or the Young Pioneers). I also let go of my resentment towards for mother-in-law. It's as Master said:
“Countless are the chaotic things in this human worldGratitude and resentment now heaped atop one another,No hope had the wicked of heart, their karma massive‘Tis Dafa that resolves everything at the source”(“Undoing the Disaster,” Hong Yin II)
In April 2020, my older sister-in-law called me and said that she needed me to take care of my father-in-law for a while. I said it was no problem; I practiced Dafa and could take care of it.
When I got to my father-in-law's home, he said, “What are you doing here? I don't need you. I can cook for myself, so you can leave.” That made me feel very uncomfortable and I wanted to leave. Then I thought, “I'm here to cook for him. He should be happy, so why is he rushing me out? I am a practitioner, and I have to endure it.” Thus, I didn’t say anything. I cooked the food and called him to eat. He saw that I made a lot of delicious things and said as he ate, “This is as good as food in a restaurant.” He stopped asking me to leave. I got over this obstacle.
My father-in-law is over 80 years old. Sometimes he said the dish I made was too soft, and sometimes he said it was too firm. I was not angry and did whatever he wanted. It was all about cultivating my heart and testing my forbearance. If I could endure it, I would pass the test. Master expressly stated:
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Whatever he liked to eat, that is what I prepared for him. Later, all he said was that the food was delicious.
Eliminating the Attachment to Disliking Filth
My father-in-law liked to eat fruit and always had fruit juice dripping onto the floor as he ate. Then he stepped in it and spread it all over the floor. He blew his nose in the bathroom and wiped it on the toilet lid. He also liked to blow his nose while he ate. Sometimes, I couldn’t stand it and had to stop eating. When he ate, he used his chopsticks to turn the food over, then pressed it flat, which made me feel like vomiting. I had to put whatever I was going to eat on my own plate before he made a mess of it.
When I lived with my in-laws in the past, he wasn't like that. I knew that a cultivator didn't encounter things for no reason. That was targeting my attachment. I disliked unclean things. I had this attachment and saw that it was still very serious. For example, I would never use my husband’s water cup. Once, when a practitioner came to my home, I got a special disposable paper cup of water for him, but he picked up my husband’s cup and drank from it. I saw a big gap between myself and the practitioner on this attachment. I realized it was time for me to get rid of it.
In one Minghui article, a practitioner's father-in-law left his feces all over the floor, and the practitioner cleaned it up without complaint. Why couldn't I do that? After working on this obstacle, I can do likewise as I clean the bathroom and mop the floor to clean the fruit juice. At mealtime, I eat on the same plates as my father-in-law, even though he still occasionally blows his nose. After I corrected myself, the environment changed. I am grateful to my father-in-law for helping me get rid of this attachment.
Eliminating the Attachment of Selfishness
Practitioner Cai came to our Fa-study group. She was a veteran practitioner who had just returned to cultivation. Cai was experiencing serious “sickness karma” and really wanted us to help her. At first, she came to our Fa-study group. Later, she couldn't move and wanted us to study the Fa at her place. She lived far away from the other practitioners, and some said that her home was too far and were unwilling to go. I felt the same way, but I was embarrassed to admit it, so I said I would go. When I saw Cai's helpless eyes, I remembered when I first obtained the Fa and that many practitioners selflessly helped me. I contacted those other practitioners who had helped me. They lived in the suburbs.
I reconnected with them and explained Cai's situation. None of them said no. They said, “No problem, we will go as far as we need to.” The other practitioners who had said they were unwilling to go were a mirror that reflected my hidden, selfish, cunning heart, which fooled Cai into thinking I was a good person. That day, I pulled that attachment out and disintegrated it.
We established a temporary Fa-study group at Cai's place. We studied the Fa with her and helped her send forth righteous thoughts. One practitioner, who saw that Cai was having difficulty overcoming the sickness karma and that Cai always relied on fellow practitioners, said to her, “You have to enlighten to it yourself rather than rely on others. There is not much others can do if you can't enlighten to it yourself. You have to endure your own karma.” Cai couldn't accept it.
One day, Cai was in tears while reading the Fa. She said, “I'm sorry, I'm not worthy to be Master's disciple. I am so selfish that I had you come to my house whether you liked it or not. I thought that since you would go anywhere you were needed, you should come to my house to help me, and my sickness would be cured. I only thought about how to recover faster, always thinking it was an illness. I don't have righteous thoughts—how could I possibly be okay? I want to dissolve my selfish thoughts, dissolve the notion that considers the karma an illness. A cultivator has no illness.” I burst into tears when I heard her say this.
Master said, “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”) This is the power of Dafa. If you look inward for yourself and follow the requirements of the Fa, you can improve in your cultivation.
In a short time, Cai was able to stand up, walk, and go upstairs. Although she still stumbled, she did not have other practitioners come to her home. Instead, she had her son drive her to our original Fa study group.
On the surface, we helped a fellow practitioner, but didn't we also help ourselves? It exposed my cunning selfishness while showing a loving face. It exposed my fear of displeasing other practitioners, my fear of wasting my time, and fears of this and that, which all originated from selfishness. With many things, I consciously or unconsciously acted selfishly. In what I did or how I did it, everything was about me. I should eliminate this attachment of selfishness, disintegrate it, and cultivate myself to be selfless and become an enlightened being who considers others first.
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Category: Improving Oneself
