(Minghui.org) After I left China, I felt that I couldn’t participate in anything major because of my poor English. But even small things can reflect the improvement of my xinxing.
Eliminating the Attachment to Comfort While Doing Media Work
Under compassionate Master’s arrangement, I moved from the RTC platform to the Rescue platform to make phone calls to China. At the same time, I was given the task of adding subtitles to media programs. Due to the time zone difference, when the programs were sent to me, it was often 11:00 or 12:00 at night or 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. So, it was almost 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning when I went to bed every night. When I first started doing this work, it took me a long time to finish because I had never done it before and was learning by myself. Sometimes I stayed up all night, so my regular life and exercise schedules were disrupted.
I join a group Fa study at 7:00 p.m. every day. After studying one lecture of Zhuan Falun and sending righteous thoughts, I then make phone calls to China until 11:55 p.m. If a program is sent over, I work on the subtitles. Otherwise, I study the Fa while waiting for the file. Thus, I work every day from 7:00 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. or 4:00 a.m.
This process is sometimes very challenging, and many of my attachments surfaced. I couldn’t sleep long before it was time to get up to do the exercises and study Zhuan Falun and Master’s other teachings with a group of practitioners. I also have responsibilities during the day.
I began to feel exhausted every day with such a tight schedule. I did not have enough time to finish everything. I thought that I would practice the standing exercises and meditation on alternate days so I would have more time to sleep. I slept for 4 hours every day but was very sleepy. Sometimes I fell asleep during the day.
Later, when I studied lecture seven in Zhuan Falun, I read,
“Drinking alcohol is definitely addictive. It is a desire and stimulates one’s addictive nerves. The more you drink, the more one becomes addicted to it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I was enlightened to Master’s Fa: Sleep had become an addiction for me. The longer I slept, the more addicted I became.
Master also said,
“That’s because laziness has started to wear you down, so you have to break through it. Everyone will encounter this. Sometimes it manifests quite strongly; other times it seems relatively mild. That’s what prevents you from doing the exercises or being diligent in your cultivation. Break through it! Smash through it. Maybe its hinge, or the crux of this barrier, is your attachment, and if you unlock that you might overcome and break through it instantly.”(Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.)
It is not easy to remove the attachment to comfort once it becomes an addiction. I also had an ordinary person’s notion: If I didn’t go to bed at a regular time, I wouldn’t be able to make it up no matter how many hours I slept afterwards. So it seemed natural to feel tired and drowsy. I always had the urge to take a nap during work hours.
I set my alarm clock to wake me up after five hours of sleep every day. But I always woke up an hour earlier, felt sleepy, and then fell asleep again. Even sleeping one extra minute was good enough for me. On another day, I set my alarm to ring four and a half hours after I went to bed. But it always went off after just 4 hours. I was so annoyed that I thought, “Four hours is not enough, so I will sleep a bit more.”
I didn’t realize I had an attachment, but I was given another chance. When I tried to check the time on my cell phone at night, I could not hold it steady. The phone hit my head hard, twice. It hurt a lot and my head was bruised. Master warned me this way that I should not hold on to an ordinary person’s mentality and that I should eliminate the addiction to sleep.
Sometimes when I felt drowsy and wanted to take a nap during the day, a thought occurred to me: I am a practitioner, not an ordinary person. What human beings need cannot restrain me, and I must break through it. With great effort I gradually got rid of this deep-rooted attachment, and now I have time to practice the five sets of exercises every day. Although my schedule is still busy, I do not miss any task that needs to be completed.
Master encouraged me by letting me see a heavenly maiden in white playing a flute and flying around me happily when I did the second exercise, the Falun Standing Stance. I also saw a golden dragon on each arm when I practiced exercise four, the Falun Cosmic Orbit. I realized that Master was helping me understand a principle: Cultivation is sacred, and I must be diligent and never slack off. Now, with Master’s reinforcement, I have removed my attachment to comfort and addiction to sleep, and I am full of energy every day.
Eliminating Karma Thanks to Master’s Magnificent Benevolence
Before, I always cultivated diligently. I did the three things well: I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and sent righteous thoughts. I did well in a truth-clarification project and my xinxing was elevating. No matter what I encountered, I looked within and cultivated every single thought based on the Fa’s standards. So, Master dissolved many of the grievances and sins I owed from my many lifetimes.
During one period of time, I had to go to bed late at night. Right after I fell asleep, I entered other dimensions where there were many beings who seemed to have a deep hatred for me. They frightened me, teased me, and tormented me in different ways. In the dream, I was terrified and had nowhere to hide. I kept calling out to Master to save me, but to no avail. When the beings were about to hurt me, I felt like I jumped straight down from the sky. As I flew down, I could clearly see everything on earth coming closer and closer. In an instant, I returned to my physical body and woke up, feeling panicky. I thought: “Why didn’t Master take care of me?” Then I thought of Master’s Fa,
“The master knows exactly what will happen, but still must do it this way.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
After that, for many consecutive nights, as soon as I fell asleep, I would see those fearful scenes. In these dreams, I was able to clearly feel what was on the minds of those beings: Some hated me, but others had affection for me and all kinds of complex emotions. I thought I had a loophole in my cultivation that was being taken advantage of by the old forces or evil entities, and this invited demonic interference. I looked inside and looked for every attachment that I might have, but didn’t find any major issue in my cultivation that would cause such huge demonic interference.
When I was confused, Master gave me a hint: “It’s all good and don’t worry about it.” So, I didn’t think much of it. One day at 2:00 a.m., I was just going to bed when a practitioner sent me some subtitle work. I didn’t have to start it right then since I was not asked to do it right away. But as a practitioner, I should consider others first and cultivate selflessness, so I did the work at once.
After completing the work at around 4:00 am, I laid down, fell asleep, and entered another dimension again. In that dimension, everything was grey and dull. The floor was very dirty. I was walking when out of nowhere I saw many people who wore ancient clothing slowly approaching me. They circled around me and reached out to grab me. I was terrified, so I kept reciting, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” As soon as I said the Nine Words, the beings withdrew their hands, but they still surrounded me. So, I got up and tried to fly away. Just as I was in mid-air, someone behind me tugged on my collar and said, “Let’s look at this show-off.” When they dragged me to the ground, I saw they were two palace maids in ancient costumes. I could see that they hated me so much that they both surrounded me and scratched and pinched me. The pain was unbearable, like being electrocuted. When they were about to really hurt me, I suddenly woke up.
After I regained consciousness, I saw that the curtains, furniture, and other items in my room were moving. I thought there was something wrong with my eyes, but when I looked closely I saw that they were really moving. It was very scary. I asked Master in my mind, “Master, why is this happening?” Then I opened Zhuan Falun and saw this line of Fa,
“If you owe someone something, he will find you for the repayment.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Later, I thought about what they meant when they said, “Let’s look at this show-off.” What did it mean? I realized that those who surrounded me did not dare to hurt me because I recited the Nine Words. They said this because they were jealous of me for being a Dafa disciple. Master helped pay off the mountain of sins I had accrued in previous lives and dissolved my massive karma at the source.
Because this situation kept happening, I gradually developed the attachment of fear. One night, before going to bed, I clearly felt the people coming again. Although I was very tired, I did not dare to go to sleep. Later I thought: What is there to be afraid of? Only ordinary people are afraid. I am a future enlightened being, and a divine being does not have anything to fear. Come to get your repayment if I still owe you. After that day, the situation never happened again.
After experiencing all these things, I thought: In cultivation, we often complain about the suffering, tribulations, and unfulfilled desires we have in life. When we encounter tribulations, we do not want to look inside. In fact, these things are caused by our own karma. If it were not for Master’s great suffering and endurance, we would never be able to pay off our karmic debts. So I always remind myself to cherish the opportunity to cultivate and to cultivate diligently.
Eliminating Attachments while Doing Little Things
In ordinary people’s eyes, I am an assertive and decisive person. I always take quick action and finish my work, leaving things tidy and clean. But the bad side of my personality lacks patience and is short-tempered. I can dance with a sword but cannot hold an embroidery needle. I realized that the obstacles I encountered during cultivation were arranged to refine my character.
On the RTC Rescue platform, I make phone calls to police departments and the 610 Office, who are directly involved in the persecution. These calls are difficult to make, and the connection rate is low. Many times, I dialed all night, but not one person answered their phone. Even when someone answered, the call only lasted a few seconds, 10 seconds, 20 seconds, or occasionally a bit longer. But there was little interaction, and I was the only one who talked. I felt I spent a lot of time every day but achieved very little. Sometimes I felt frustrated. But, every time I thought about not participating in this project anymore, Master always hinted at me not to give up.
The job of subtitling media programs is time-consuming and laborious. It takes care and patience to do it well. I realize it can help me remove my attachment of impatience and restlessness. To improve more quickly, I increased my Fa study and lengthened the time I sent righteous thoughts.
I pay attention to cultivating every thought, just as Master said,
“...Let each and every thingbe measured against the Fa.Only then, with that,is it actually cultivation.”( “Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
Gradually no matter whether the phone is answered or how long the person listens to me, I started making calls with a compassionate heart. I was no longer attached to the results and did not feel irritated. My whole world became cool and calm.
I cooperated unconditionally and got things done in the media project, and I never sought fame or gain. The coordinator asked me to count how many programs I had completed and paid me accordingly. One day, when I was counting and calculating how much I would get paid, suddenly my nose started to bleed. I realized I had a loophole in cultivation because I had developed a pursuit for profit.
Master said,
“While chanting the scripture over there, some monks are thinking in their minds, “After consecration, how much money will I be paid?”” (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I was no different from that monk when I was adding up the number of media programs I worked on. There have been many instances like these. When I measure myself against the Fa, I find many attachments. I eliminate them through diligent cultivation.
One day, Master revealed a scene to me: A Chinese cabbage was being peeled apart leaf by leaf. Each leaf was fully cooked, soft, and watery, leaving only the heart of the cabbage still raw. I realized that Master was telling me that I had already cultivated away the attachment of impatience during this period of practice.
I always felt that what I was doing was so trivial that it didn’t make any difference. One day, when I was watching the subtitles that I had made, Master let me see that each word radiated soft and pure energy, which was able to eliminate the bad thoughts and notions the audience might have and people could see more clearly the evil nature of the CCP. From this experience, I realized that everything we do embodies our cultivation state and xinxing standard. There are no minor things in cultivation, and we must cultivate solidly at all times.
We refine our mind in everyday life. One day during the U.S. election, I was talking to my daughter about a congressman who supported the former president of the United States despite experiencing a lot of pressure because of it.
I said, “Look at this congressman who is so handsome and has such integrity. At that moment, I didn’t feel that I said anything wrong. But later, I felt that I had done something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
By looking inside, I found that I was using ordinary people’s standard of beauty to judge whether he was good-looking or not. This is the attachment of lust. Then, Master put the image of a very tall Western man I once saw on the street in my mind. I instantly said, Wow, he’s so tall and so handsome. I didn’t think anything was wrong at that time, because it was my natural response. Through Master’s hint, I realized that my behavior did not align with the standards of the Fa. Casually saying “this man is so handsome” is an expression of immodesty and shows a low moral standard.
When there is an attachment to lust, there is desire. That is why they go hand in hand. The seemingly trivial thing in fact hides a dirty mind. In the eyes of divine beings, all humans are equal, and they are only distinguished as good and bad. After I enlightened to this level of Fa, I removed my notion about beauty and ugliness. Now, I don’t see or say who is good-looking and who is not. I see everyone as the same. What ordinary people think is right is not necessarily right. As a practitioner, we should use the Fa to measure everything in order to discern what is truly right and wrong.
During a casual conversation, my daughter said, “It would be wonderful if we had our own house, so we wouldn’t have to rent an apartment.” At that moment, an image appeared in my mind: it was an abbot’s room in a temple. There was nothing in the room except a simple bed, a table, and a chair. I immediately realized that Master was teaching me: When practitioners in the past became monks, they cut off access to all worldly things. Although we are cultivating among ordinary people, the standard for cultivation is the same. We should not pursue material things. It is good enough to have a normal and simple life. Any thought could be an attachment. I should put my heart on cultivating and saving sentient beings.
One day, my daughter asked her father if he would give her money to pay for living expenses or tuition. Not only did her father refuse to help, he told her to drop out of university and return to China so that he could find her a job there. After I heard this, I was very upset. Over the years he never paid a penny towards bringing up our daughter. What kind of father tells his daughter drop out of school? This was simply unreasonable. I felt resentful and indignant. I felt very bitter and tired, finding the situation to be unfair. My attachments to profit, fighting, and affection for my daughter all came out. I knew it was not right to feel this way as a practitioner, but I just could not calm myself down.
In the evening when I studied the the Fa, I read,
“Whether it is from the cultivation of monks or others, this energy should be scattered and not directional. The floor, the ceiling, and the walls of the entire temple should have the same field.” (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun)
Master enlightened me: Divine beings and Buddhas are compassionate to everyone. They treat all sentient beings the same way. It is pure compassion for all life, even for bad people and for those who have hurt us. After realizing the Fa principle that Master showed me, I felt at peace. All those attachments and resentments disappeared. Perhaps her father had his own difficulties. Whether other people are good to me or not, my heart should remain unmoved. Everything has a karmic relationship. Any practitioner who takes hardship as joy and who does not have any discontentment or hatred has the right state of mind.
Ending Remarks
Without Master’s compassionate endurance and protection, no elevation in cultivation is possible. I always express my gratitude to Master in my heart, but it is so inadequate to just thank Master to repay Him for his boundless compassion. Everything is created by Master. Everything is bestowed by Master. Everything is achieved by Master. Only through studying the Fa well and cultivating firmly, can we save more sentient beings and deserve Master’s salvation. This is what Master wants.
The above is my limited cultivation sharing. Please point out anything that doesn’t align with the Fa teachings.
(Presented at the 2021 Canada Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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