(Minghui.org) I was born in 1996 and began to practice Falun Dafa at a young age. I returned to Dafa after many years of tribulations, and finally worked up the courage to write down my cultivation experience.
I Came Here For Dafa
I grew up practicing Falun Dafa with my family. My mother told me when she was pregnant with me, a voice told her that I was going to be a boy, born on a specific day, and that some suffering would be inevitable. Everything happened just as she was told. She said that I wasn’t an ordinary soul, and when I was still in heaven I saw her family was going to practice Dafa. For that reason I chose to be born into her family.
My family learned the practice in 1998 when I was 2. Because I was so young, I just followed the practitioners whenever they did the exercises.
A Depressing Childhood
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999. Our house was ransacked and my family was imprisoned. My grandmother and mother took me with them to Beijing to appeal for justice. When we reached Tiananmen Square, a policeman asked my mother if we were Dafa practitioners. She told them that we practiced Dafa. Thus, we were taken to the detention center.
We were later transferred to the local detention center. My grandmother and mother were sentenced to one year, and I was released because of my young age. I moved around with my father as we did not have a permanent home. We stayed at someone’s place for a few days, and then at another person’s for another few days.
We often got up before dawn and rode around aimlessly on a bicycle. My father had poor eyesight and often rode us into a pothole. I vividly remembered those days, and I knew what it felt like to have a home and not be able to return.
Perhaps my father thought it was not a good thing for me to live like that, so he let me stay with my grandfather for a while, and then I went to live with my great-grandmother. Although she was a practitioner, the police left her alone due to her old age. She lived by herself, so our meals often consisted of steamed buns and water. I was extremely thin then.
The sound of police sirens scared me to death, and I cried whenever I thought of my mother. I could use the color gray to describe my childhood, as there was not a ray of sunshine.
Despite my living condition, Master continued to watch over me. I often played with the kids in the village, and when we were going to do something bad, I felt like someone was looking at me. I asked other kids if we were being watched, and they said “no.” I think Master was pointing things out to me, stopping me from doing bad things.
Returning to Dafa
My family was released a year later. They were “transformed” in the prison, and took a detour on their cultivation path. I sensed the old forces were attacking me during those years. They gave me headaches everyday to prevent me from attending school. The doctors said nothing was wrong with me, but the headache would not go away. My family had witches perform sorcery on me, but it didn’t work. I rarely attended school back then. I’m embarrassed to say that it didn’t occur to me to ask Master for help.
My father brought home a set of exercise music tapes from a relative in 2006. I think he hid the tapes at the relative’s home in 1999, when the police searched our home. He contacted practitioners to get back the Dafa books. Our family resumed the practice, and I no longer had a headache.
I often saw the amazing effects Dafa had on me. When I was in elementary school, I noticed whenever I slacked off in my Fa study, I would fail the tests and my grades dropped. The head teacher visited my parents and told them my situation. When my parents made sure I studied the Fa well my grades improved. I also had headaches every now and then, accompanied by vomiting and lack of energy, but I was usually fine the next day. I think Master was purifying my body.
Leading a Bad Life
I became rebellious by the time I was in junior high. I hung around street gangsters, didn’t pay attention in class, and even ran away from home. One time I ran away for a week, and my family looked for me all over the place. The teachers couldn’t do anything about it either. How did I become so unruly?
My father gave up looking for me when I disappeared one night. He had a dream that night. He saw a child appeared out of a Buddhist whisk. The child’s name was Liu Laihai (meaning “keep the bad child”), and many people with knives went after this child.
My father woke up and thought about the dream. He thought he should keep me even though I was a bad kid. I might have owed lots of debts in my past lives, thus the “creditors” went after me, and didn’t want me to cultivate.
He got up and went out to look for me. I was hiding under the neighbor's shed. I wanted to go home but was too embarrassed. My parents were known in our town for being good people. Someone asked my mother, “You and your husband are such good people. Why do you have such a bad boy?” Although I studied Dafa books every day, I could not control myself and mingled with the bad kids in school.
I was really lost in the big dye vat during my college years. I often spent time at the Internet cafes with my classmates and roommates. I even imbibed alcoholic drinks at the bars, mixing with ordinary people. At first, I could feel my energy dissipate after I drank. But the more I drank the less I felt this. Maybe all my good energy was gone by then. The only thing I didn’t regret was that I told my good friends about Falun Dafa and the persecution, and they seemed to acknowledge the facts.
There is one thing I cannot forget. An image showed up in my mind when I did something bad – I saw the gods in heaven looking at me, they sighed and closed their eyes. The image looked so real, as if I was truly part of it.
Raising My Xinxing
My private part started to itch in April this year. I didn’t pay attention to it at first. Then it got worse – it grew ulcers and was painful. I had to go out of town for a few days. I didn’t bring any books with me, because I was being monitored for practicing Dafa.
I endured the pain during those days, and I looked forward to returning home so that I could read Dafa books. When I got home, I took a shower, did the exercises and read the books, trying to make up for what I had missed.
I had a discharge mixed with blood the second night. I began to panic, knowing that it was a symptom of sexually transmitted diseases. I searched online for information, and consulted with a doctor online. The doctor asked if I had unprotected sexual activities lately, and I said “no.” Although I was not diligent in my cultivation, I still had good self-control in this regard.
The doctor said the disease could cause infertility, and urged me to get it checked at the hospital. I was a little scared and forgot about the Fa principles, and I made an appointment with the hospital for the next day.
That night, I studied the Fa and read,
“Your body might suddenly feel unwell, since that’s one of many ways that karma can be paid off. And at a certain point in time you might be made to doubt whether the teachings are true, whether you have higher energy, whether you are cut out for spiritual practice and can really make progress at it, or whether higher beings really exist. You might be made to go through this in the future, and be given a false impression that leads you to question and doubt all of this. It’s done to see whether you can stay committed. If you can hold fast to the thought, “I must stay firm and not waver,” then you will, with that determination, indeed do so when going through this kind of test, and naturally handle it well, for your character will have grown.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I was reminded that I was a Dafa practitioner! I have been practicing with my parents since I was a child, and have never taken any medication. So how could I be ill? I canceled my appointment with the hospital.
I remembered that I should have faith in Master and Dafa. I thought, “I will cultivate until I die, and even if I die, it is worthwhile.” I realize now that my thinking then was a bit extreme. Perhaps because of that thought, the symptoms were gone and I felt better the next day.
Maybe the sickness karma was the result of debts I owed from past lives, and Master took them away when I raised my xinxing. I was fine four days later, and the entire process took about one week.
The doctor sent me several messages a few days later, asking if I had gone to the hospital. I replied that I was fine and thanked him for his concern. Had I gone to the hospital, it meant that I had regarded myself as an ordinary person, so how could Master take care of me? Dafa practitioners’ thoughts and actions must be based on the Fa, and Master will protect us as long as we have faith.
I blush when I look back at my 20 plus years of cultivation, for I made Master worry. The old forces made lots of arrangements starting from my childhood all the way until I graduated from college. I have not written down everything that happened to me. I hope that young practitioners with similar experiences will seize the moment and study the Fa. Let’s walk the final portion of our cultivation path well.
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Category: Improving Oneself
