(Minghui.org) My colleagues always said that my husband really cared about me. When I was jailed for practicing Falun Dafa, my husband traveled 270 miles once a week to visit me, no matter how busy he was with work.
My husband was very supportive of me, making the test of sentimentality especially difficult for me to pass. He was ill and bedridden for five months and could not take care of himself. This affected my cultivation, in particular, my ability to do the three things.
I didn’t behave like a cultivator when my husband passed away. Although I knew it was an attachment to sentimentality, I could not restrain myself and kept crying. No matter how others consoled me, I wept whenever I saw my husband’s photo, the things he used, or the clothes he wore. My daughter took me to her place in Shanghai when she saw me in such a sorry state. I felt perhaps my mood would get better with the change in environment.
The cultivation environment wasn’t good at my daughter’s. I couldn’t calm down to study the Falun Dafa books, and I couldn’t guard my xinxing either, let alone do the three things well. Whenever I was bored, I looked on my mobile phone. Things went on this way for four months—I didn’t even realize that I was on the wrong track. The bad elements took advantage of my loophole.
I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I couldn’t stand up straight and I was very dizzy. I had a bad headache and felt as if my head was about to explode. I was flustered and had a hard time breathing. My daughter woke up and asked if I was all right. She took my blood pressure and it was really high. She put her clothes on and told my son-in-law, “Let’s take her to the hospital!”
I remembered Master Li’s (the founder of Falun Dafa) teachings:
“The sickness karma that appears in your body manifests as a test. Of course it appears to be sickness karma, as it definitely won’t have the appearance of a god getting ill. So you should handle it with righteous thoughts. You are a cultivator, so it is definitely not in fact sickness. But it won’t come across that simple.”
“But how could a divine being have ordinary people administer treatment on him? And how could ordinary people heal a divine being’s sickness?” (“Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles”)
I knew I wasn’t sick. I knew this had happened because I didn’t cultivate well. I told my daughter and her husband that I wanted to go home. My son-in-law got a little anxious, “Mom, your blood pressure is too high! There are no good hospitals in your area. You won’t get good care!” My daughter wanted him to hurry up and take me to the hospital.
I told my daughter, “I’m not going to the hospital, because I’m not sick. I have slacked off in my cultivation. I need to go home and let more people know about Falun Dafa and the persecution.” Suddenly, I stopped feeling dizzy. I was more awake, and my breathing became easier. I wasn’t flustered anymore and I was able to carry on a conversation with them.
They noticed I was feeling better and took my blood pressure again. It had dropped by 50 points. I realized Master took away my karma and saved me. It was three in the morning, and I asked my daughter to buy me a plane ticket.
I returned home by four that afternoon that same day. Fellow practitioners hugged me and I felt alive again. I told them my blood pressure had gone up to 248 at one point! They laughed and joked, “It would have been 250 if you hadn’t come home!”
I said, “I wasn’t sick. It was because I didn’t study the Fa often enough and lacked righteous thoughts. I was troubled by sentimental attachments for four months, and I failed to do the three things well. Cultivation is solemn, and my life has been prolonged, therefore I cannot slack off. I need to read the books more and do the three things well.”
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Under Master’s protection and with practitioners’ help, I am spending more time reading the books, and I am back on track on my cultivation path.
I am grateful to compassionate Master for not giving up on me! I thank practitioners for their kindness.
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Category: Improving Oneself
