(Minghui.org) I felt depressed recently and couldn't break free from that dreadful state. I knelt down in front of Master Li Hongzhi’s (Falun Dafa's founder) portrait and pleaded, “Master, please save me! I don’t want to be depressed.”
Master led me to a German practitioner’s experience-sharing article on the Minghui website “Letting Go of Ego: Eliminating My Fundamental Attachment,” which helped me tremendously.
I was impressed that the practitioner knew himself so well. In my situation, I looked within when facing conflicts, but I stopped after the problems were resolved. So I had never tried to find my fundamental attachments.
I used to be a Buddhist before I started practicing Falun Dafa and read many books on Buddhism. I went through the religious conversion to Buddhism without taking it seriously. Nevertheless, I practiced Buddhism alone, because I did not like to socialize with those who sought wealth and gain.
However, the more books on Buddhism I read, the more hopeless I felt in reaching consummation. I didn't know who could explain to me why cultivation needed the human body, and how a Buddha completed cultivation in the past.
I believe that Master saw my sincere wish, and arranged for a neighbor to tell me about a group of people practicing Falun Dafa in a nearby park. After looking for them for a few weeks, I finally found them. I stood with the group of people, who were doing the exercises, without asking permission first. Since that day in 1997, I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 20 years.
Regretfully, I did not cultivate Dafa well so my understanding of the Fa was poor. I took detours on my cultivation path and experienced persecution. Still, I never thought about finding my fundamental attachment until I read this German practitioner’s experience-sharing article. He wrote: “...I asked myself why I started to practice cultivation. What thought took me to Falun Dafa? It was: “I looked for a moment to be without worries, to be free of everything earthly!” It meant I wanted to have it comfortable and easy.”
With inspiration from this article, I looked within to find my fundamental attachment and recalled the status of “Ultimate Freedom,” described in the Buddhist books. I felt that my cultivation goal was to become a Buddha and achieve divine standing, so I may reach the state of “Ultimate Freedom.”
I thought that I'd already let go of things in Buddhism long ago, after becoming a Dafa practitioner, but in fact I had never really removed them. I was involved with the issue of “no second cultivation way” unknowingly due to my neglect of ridding myself of things from Buddhism.
The old forces seized on my vague Buddhist concept of “Ultimate Freedom” to hide my attachment of ease and comfort.
Master said:
“Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage...” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Despite my continuous efforts in sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachment of ease and comfort, I achieved little result. I sometimes became depressed, sleepy, and unable to cultivate diligently.
Cultivation is a process of removing attachments and improving one's character. Compassion should replace human sentiment. As a Dafa practitioner, I should follow the Fa, “... so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
It became clear to me that my compassion did not improve, and I could not uplift myself above the state of kindness, because I had never found and eliminated my fundamental attachment.
Now I realized that my deeply hidden fundamental attachment was associated with seeking ease and comfort. What a terrible attachment I had!
Here, I announce by quoting the Fa, “I’m Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I don’t want other arrangements or acknowledge them...” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003).
I will thoroughly remove from my mind any remaining ideas, elements and information on Buddhism.
I will eliminate all factors associated with the attachment of ease and comfort, and tie up the loopholes to prevent the old forces from interfering with my cultivation. I belong to Dafa, and no one else may make arrangements for me.
[This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)]
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Category: Improving Oneself
