(Minghui.org) A few practitioners from our area were illegally arrested, their houses were ransacked, and their belongings were confiscated. Upon hearing this news, many of my attachments surfaced. This made me understand better that all the things that I hear or encounter on my cultivation path do not happen by chance. I need to look within and eliminate any incorrect thoughts.
Eliminating Fear and Suspicion
When I heard that fellow practitioners had been illegally arrested and their houses were ransacked, I knew that no one can disturb Dafa practitioners as long as they do everything well, hold righteous thoughts, and know that Master and the Fa protect them.
But thoughts of fear and suspicion appeared in my mind occasionally. Whenever I discovered these bad thoughts, I tried to suppress them with righteous thoughts. I am not afraid of them surfacing, and I will not admit that, as this fear and suspicion is not me, not my true self. They are just human attachments that I need to get rid of in my cultivation.
Although I suppressed the thoughts of fear, what really helped me eliminate these bad thoughts was Master’s Fa. I noticed that the lights in my house were not turned on when I returned home from work one evening. Lights in every household usually come on after people return home from work.
I stood outside, hesitated, and did not dare enter my home. I wondered what happened, as my family members were always home when I returned. I knew that my hesitation resulted from the mentality of fear. I thought that I must suppress it and enter my home. Despite my thought, I was still afraid when I opened the door.
I noticed that no one was at home after I opened the door, and all the mobile phones of my family members were at home, so I could not call any of them. I wondered what to do, maybe contact relatives, and ask them if they knew what happened? Many scenarios started to run through my mind.
I then decided that I should not be manipulated by this fear, not call anyone and ask questions. They probably went out to settle some matters. I should prepare dinner and wait for them to come home.
Before long, they all came home and gave their reasons. I understood that nothing bad had happened. All that internal struggle appeared because of my attachment of fear. They are all fake and all illusions.
Master said,
“So, once an attachment is developed, it will lead to this demonic illusion. It is very difficult for one to stay away from it.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
“Of course, we don't acknowledge any of the things that the old forces arranged--I as your master don't acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of course don't acknowledge them either. (Applause) But after all, they did do what they wanted to do, so there's all the more reason for Dafa disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IV)
This part of Master’s lecture further helped me understand that the cultivation path that Master has arranged for us is to “...cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IV)
We are not cultivating in the midst of negating the evil’s persecution. Once I understood this principle, these matters of fear could not exist in my dimensional field.
That night, I had a dream where there was a big canal that was long and broad, and a big flood gate. On inner side of the canal was a mark, and the water level was below the mark. Suddenly, the flood gate opened and water start to enter the canal. The strong water flow created splashing. When the water level reached the mark on the wall, the water flow suddenly stopped.
When I woke up, I enlightened that this dream was like what Master said, “...one’s gong level is as high as one’s xinxing level.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
Since then, I felt relaxed. I know that as my cultivation state improved through my studying of the Fa until it reached that level. Then, Master removed the substance of fear.
At some other time I heard that some practitioners were being followed. This triggered the attachment of suspicion that was hidden in me. In the morning, when I passed by the path I usually took when I go to work, I saw that a car was stopped there.
When my suspicion surfaced, illusions appeared too. Whenever I walked there on my way to work, I saw that there was this type of car stopping there today and another type of car stopping there the next day.
I started to think that I had not been diligent in my cultivation recently and I shouldn’t let the evil make use of this opportunity to persecute me. I also tried to suppress this suspicion.
Master said,
“When the qi cannot go through a pass, one will feel that the head is heavy and swollen as if wearing a thick hat of qi, etc. But qi cannot dictate anything, and neither can it cause any trouble or bring about any illness whatsoever.” (Lecture Six,Zhuan Falun)
I enlightened that being not diligent is just a cultivation state. I need to change this state and not let problems that should not happen occur due to this kind of state. Suddenly, my suspicion towards those cars disappeared. Since then, whenever I walked there, I no longer checked if any cars were stopped there. Even if there was a car, I would not let my thoughts run wild due to this suspicion. Instead, I just thought about Master’s Fa, which brings calmness to my heart.
Eliminating the Attachment of Saving Money and Things
When I heard a practitioner’s cultivation experience about how to treat personal benefits and gains, I discovered that I had the attachment of storing money and other things. I have had the habit of collecting things since I was young, and did not dare to use them. I liked to store the pocket money that my parents gave me instead of using it. Gradually, as I grew up and entered the work force, this habit brought along many bad attachments.
When I was out of work and had no income, I stored away the pocket money that my parents gave me every month, if I did not finish spending it. I stored it in a secret place in my room.
After I started to work, my mother went to my room to look for something, and accidentally stumbled across the place where I stored the stash of money. In the end she did not find the thing that she was looking for in my room. She found it in her own room.
When I found out that the place where I stored the money had been searched, I did not feel so good. Therefore, I thought, “Why am I afraid to let anyone know that I hid the pocket money?” I realized that I had the attachment of saving money for rainy days. But why would I have this kind of worry? It all stems from selfishness.
There was another time when I was especially obsessed with buying clothes. I went to the malls and browsed online to buy clothes. Whenever I bought the clothes, I wore the new clothes just once, washed and stored them, as I could not bear to wear them again. In the end, I had an entire large cupboard full of clothes. This situation troubled me for a very long time.
Once when I was studying the Fa, I read,
“In order to abandon human attachments as much as possible, Shakyamuni forbade his disciples from having access to any wealth, material things, and so on. He took his disciples with him to beg for food.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood that my behavior was similar to the monks who collected bowls they used to beg for alms. I am a cultivator who needs to get rid of all attachments. How can I bring this attachment with me to consummation? This is impossible!
When I finally got rid of the restraints that were caused by these attachments, everything became open and upright. Thus, there is also no feeling of shame when my selfishness has been exposed. Instead, there is a frank and relaxed feeling.
Eliminating the Attachment of Pursuit
When practitioners talked about personal gains and benefits, I also found my attachment to pursuit.
At my former job, when the general manager’s son celebrated his birthday, I thought about buying a small silver lock. I even told my father that I wanted to maintain a close relationship with them so that if there was a chance in the future, I would still like to work.
The next morning, when I woke up, I felt a bit dizzy and thought that it may be because I did not sleep well. By noon, my headache worsened and continued throughout the day. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, it hurt.
Once I concentrated my mind to recite the word “Annihilate,” the pain was so great that I could not use much force to send forth righteous thoughts. Only then did I realize that this incorrect state was definitely not because I did not sleep well. I must have done something that a practitioner should not do.
I recalled that the headache started when I bought the lock. The general manager’s wife politely declined my gift, but I still wanted them to keep it. In the end, they did not keep it.
I gave the gift because I wanted them to have a good impression of me so that I could achieve my own objectives. The attachment of looking for a comfortable life, seeking enjoyment, and the fundamental attachment of not being willing to take on hardships all surfaced.
When I understood this, I saw two intertwined snakes, which caused my headache. I thought that the pain was not me but the process whereby these two bad things died off. It was the process whereby I learned about the bad matter behind this attachment to seek things, and it was going to disintegrate.
Therefore I thought to myself, “Go ahead and ache. You are the one aching because what is going to be annihilated is this snake matter and image of yours and the attachment to seeking things, not me.”
My pain disappeared after a while and my mind became clearer. This made me understand more of Master’s Fa:
“If you have a pursuit, an animal will see it and come to possess you.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
This experience made me understand that letting go of the attachment to seeking things is also the process of gradually letting go of the fundamental attachment of being human. To everyday people, there is nothing wrong with seeking a good life and enjoyment. But for a cultivator, the environment in the human world is a cultivation opportunity that is given to us.
Cultivation is hard, and only by bearing hardships will one eliminate one’s karma, improve one’s xinxing, replace one’s karma with virtue, and gradually attain the realm of consummation. This is the actual objective of cultivation.
Although I still have many areas where I need to improve, I have confidence that I can follow Master’s Fa, use it to reflect on my behavior, and truly cultivate. I will not create additional negative matter for fellow practitioners. In this final time left, let us cultivate ourselves well, save sentient beings, accomplish our missions, and achieve consummation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
