(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I started practicing Falun Dafa with my parents when I was five years old, and 25 years have passed since then. I would like to share a few experiences during the process, in which I made some breakthroughs by looking within myself.
Cultivating on My Own
I was born in China and obtained the Fa in Beijing. When I was a child, my parents always took me with them to Fa study and exercise practice. I did my best to follow the Fa principles––be tolerant towards others at school and never argue with people. I was a happy child to start with, and because of practicing Dafa, I felt even happier, always with a smile on my face.
After the persecution started in 1999, my family suffered severely. The police ransacked our home. My mom was forcibly taken to the local police station. My parents were locked in brainwashing centers.
Although my whole family persevered and kept up with Fa study and doing the exercises, I didn’t dare to tell my friends about it and I was very scared that the police would take my parents away again. Under long-term pressure I became introverted and didn’t like talking much. I stopped trusting anyone around me and rarely smiled.
I thought that my parents would always be on my side, helping me and encouraging me. However, all this changed in 2011. While I was studying in college, my parents were arrested again and given two years in forced labor camps. I was completely in shock when I received a call from the police. I didn’t know what to do.
I was studying in a place far away from home, and there were no other Dafa practitioners around me. I had some friends, but I could not tell them about my grievances. I didn’t dare to show the pain I was suffering, as I wasn’t sure how they would react if they knew my parents were arrested for practicing Falun Gong.
For a whole week, I was crying quietly in bed every night, and only dried my eyes in the morning to attend classes. However, I could not focus on studies as I kept thinking about how to cope with the sudden change of situation. With both of my parents detained, I worried where to get the financial support to continue my college study.
I asked myself: Am I going to continue cultivating in Dafa without my parents by my side? If I decide to continue, would I be afraid if I face the same danger?
I recalled my life experience since childhood. I used to be very weak, but after I started practicing Falun Gong, I became healthy and never needed to take any medication. My father stopped drinking and smoking and the acne on my mother’s face disappeared. The more I thought about this, the more determined I was to continue with Dafa cultivation. I knew that each Dafa disciple’s path was arranged by Master and I just needed to walk mine.
I felt good and warm as I was thinking this way, as if Master was right beside me. I knew Master was encouraging me. From that moment on, I became more attentive to use the Fa as my guide in dealing with the situations I faced. I overcame my fear and returned home to Beijing. I went to every detention center to look for my parents, and also submitted phone numbers for the police involved to Minghui.org.
Looking within, I found I still held a strong attachment to my parents. For a long time, I felt as if I was cultivating for my parents. Now that my parents were taken away from me, I need to become independent and cultivate on my own.
I never clarified the truth to any of my classmates or teachers in the past, but now I needed to break through this. I contacted my good friends back in school and clarified the truth to them one by one. I told them about the persecution of my family and the benefits Dafa had brought us. I also encouraged them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its related organizations.
Soon I experienced a test of karma elimination. I developed rashes all over my body, which were extremely itchy. There was hardly any good skin from my neck to my ankles. People urged me to go to hospital for a checkup, but I knew it was a test. I wore long sleeve shirts to cover up the rashes. I continued with Fa study and doing the exercises, while holding back the urge to scratch my skin. This lasted a whole month and I passed the big test.
One morning while studying the Fa, I came across the following lines.
“In your cultivation, every one of you may encounter things that strike you at the core, and sometimes the feeling may even be quite strong. Some of those things may not directly manifest around you, on your body, or in the things you encounter. They might manifest in the things that other people go through, or when others criticize you, or during some other conflicts. All these will make you choose between studying Dafa or not studying Dafa, or whether you want this Fa. What you choose will be looked at. Everyone will encounter these situations.”
“Therefore, when you’ve encountered these things, it’s testing you to see if you can continue to cultivate, and if you can steadfastly cultivate in Dafa. This is most critical.” (Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.)
I knew this was a test to allow me to begin making my own choices to cultivate in Dafa and to let go of human sentiments towards my parents. It was a difficult test, but I made it.
Master has been looking after me all along. While my parents were unlawfully detained in forced labor camps, I received a scholarship from my university. A year later, I had an opportunity to study in Sweden as an exchange student on full scholarship. That’s when I had the opportunity to fulfill my responsibilities in Sweden, a country I have a deep connection with.
Cultivating in My Work Environment
I came across a big test after I graduated and started working three years ago. On the first day, a colleague I was supposed to work with completely ignored me when I greeted her. It was really embarrassing. I thought she didn’t like me. Then, my supervisor asked her to help me get familiar with my job. Again, she didn’t explain anything to me, and she just kept doing her own things. When I asked her questions, she shouted at me, telling me to figure it out myself.
I was shocked and angry. How could there be such a rude person? As if things were not bad enough, when she needed to walk past me, she pushed me aside and yelled at me, telling me to get out of her way. How was I going to cope with this, I kept thinking.
I tried to keep calm and not to get angry or get into an argument with her. The atmosphere in my work environment felt rather suppressive. My mind was a mess and I didn’t know how to cope with such a colleague. I tried to calm down to study the Fa, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how she yelled at me and the tone of her voice. She kept ordering me to do this and that, without ever saying thank you. I didn’t know how long I would be able to keep going. I felt I was already at the breaking point of my tolerance after only a week.
Master said,
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
The weekend came at last! I carefully reflected on what had transpired. I was trying to be tolerant as I didn’t want to give people the impression that I was not cooperative. I felt I was being treated unfairly, though, but I didn’t dare to confront her because I did not want to lose my dignity. I endured the grievances on the surface, but in my heart, I was arguing with her all the time and developed resentment toward her. I realized that I didn’t truly meet the requirement of “the forbearance of a cultivator.”
For the next few months, whenever I was working with her, I tried my best not to hold any negative thoughts about her, and I always checked within when conflicts arose. I tried my best to look inward unconditionally. At the same time, I treated her with respect and asked her if she needed any help, without expecting her to treat me the same way.
As I looked more deeply inward, my mind became even clearer. In fact, what made me upset earlier was only the way she talked to me. She never caused me any trouble as far as work was concerned. Why should I get upset by such trivial things?
Half a year later, I found I was able to “endure completely without anger or grievance.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,”Essentials for Further Advancement) However, occasionally, I still felt a bit angry when she went over the top, thinking: Why should I be grateful when you are so rude to me?
I realized that after I let go of that layer of resentment, I would begin to feel annoyed with her again after a while. I made more effort to look within and let go of the next layer of bad things in me. I also realized that I had a thought of revenge from time to time. I should never have such mentality in treating others. So I let go of that bad thought and felt grateful for any help she gave me.
I am truly grateful to this colleague now. Without her, I would not have realized so many attachments I had. Half a year later, one day when I was handing her something she needed, she suddenly smiled and said “Thank you.” I was stunned for a second, and said, “You’re welcome!” We both laughed. That was the first time I saw my colleague laughing so happily. Since then, she has been very polite towards me. I was really surprised to see the change in her.
Once, another colleague told me that this colleague had changed a lot since I came to work with her. In the past, nobody could handle her. Nowadays, the atmosphere at my workplace is much happier and more relaxed.
Making Breakthroughs When Selling Shen Yun Souvenirs
Shen Yun performed in two cities in Denmark this year, and I worked at the front desk to sell Shen Yun souvenirs. I was always nervous talking to strangers and I didn’t think I could be a good salesperson. When the coordinator asked me if I would like to join the merchandise team, I was a bit hesitant for fear that I would not be able to do well. On the other hand, I wanted to do more to save people, so I decided to give it a go.
I was really nervous on the first day. I was assigned to sell the most expensive silk scarves. I was worried that I would not be able to sell any of them. Very soon, two other team members had already started conversations with patrons, and one patron began purchasing something.
There was an elderly lady standing in front of me. She looked cold. Even though I really wanted to talk to her, I felt I was frozen and couldn’t utter a word. She kept walking and another salesperson introduced the products to her. I felt really ashamed with myself, thinking I was doing very badly. I didn’t sell anything before the show started.
I reflected upon my behavior, hoping that I could do better during the intermission. In the past, I always felt fearful of talking to strangers and had always tried to keep away from projects that involved such face-to-face communication. This time, I wanted to make a breakthrough and I would not step back. I thought that just being aware of my attachment to fear wasn’t enough, letting go of it was real cultivation. I was determined to face the challenge.
Master said,
“Examine each and every deed,Accomplishing is cultivating.”(“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
I said to myself: I will accomplish what I set out to do. I also realized that I had an attachment to comparing with others. When others sold products but I didn’t, I began to compare with others unwittingly.
During the intermission, I was still standing where I was and feeling just as nervous. The elderly lady came again, still with a cold-face. When I noticed that she was looking at a pink silk scarf printed with the Monkey King eating peaches. I plucked up my courage and asked, “Would you like to take a look at this scarf? I can help you.” She didn’t show any emotion, nor did she reply to my question. I spread open the scarf to show her. Even though she still didn’t respond to me, I could see some sparkles in her eyes.
“It’s the story you have just seen on stage,” I continued, “You see, the Monkey King is having a good time eating peaches in heaven. Would you like to buy this scarf?” I asked her. She nodded her head slightly. I was really surprised that I sold a scarf so easily. I felt very happy and more confident.
The sales work went more smoothly after that and I was able to greet patrons and introduce products with warmth and confidence. During the process, I also found my attachments to zealotry and a sense of self-estrangement. I felt very happy when I sold a product or had enthusiastic patrons, and felt a bit lost when the patrons appeared cold and uninterested. So, I did my best to keep a calm mind and treated every patron warmly with kindness.
When we started working at the Shen Yun gift booth in the second city, I rectified my mind again. I was no long after selling more products but fell in love with the products myself. Every piece was so beautiful! I showed them to the patrons with the same feeling as I was showing something I love to my friends.
Two gentlemen came and looked at the products. I overcame my nervousness and showed them some keychains for men. I showed them the two Chinese characters on both sides of the keychain. The word “martial arts (武)” has the same pronunciation “wu” as the other word “dance (舞),” implying the origin of court dance from the martial arts performance. I added that martial arts is often used to defend the territory, while dance was for praying and celebrating harmony and peace.
It was at the beginning of the Russian-Ukrainian war, and everyone was longing for world peace. The two men were impressed with the connotation behind the two Chinese characters and bought the keychains. I continued to explain to other patrons the stories behind Shen Yun products. Many people were delighted and bought the products with joy.
Two days went past quickly and I could not even remember the fear I used to have when talking with strangers. My smile also became more natural. When packing the items for the patrons, I always checked them carefully before wrapping them up and handing them over with both hands, and I always sincerely wished they would enjoy the second half of the show.
When we were packing up at the end, a fellow practitioner asked if I was a professional salesperson. I was really happy to hear that. It was an encouragement for me.
Thank you, Master, for taking care of me all along. Thank you, fellow practitioners for your understanding and encouragement. Please kindly point out anything improper.
Thank you, Master!Thank you, fellow practitioners!
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