(Minghui.org) When I went to another state to help with a Dafa project, the practitioner I shared a room with tested positive for COVID-19 (also known as the CCP virus, named after the Chinese Communist Party).
My heart was pounding when I was waiting for my result. Even when others all tested negative, I did not feel relieved but more anxious. I worried about how to handle the situation if I tested positive. I had no righteous thought but was overwhelmed by fear and attachment to reputation while asking Master Li (Dafa’s founder) to protect me.
I was so excited and waved my arms when my test result came out negative. A fellow practitioner immediately reminded me: “Do not get carried away. A negative result is what it should be, no need to make a fuss.” After a while, I heard another practitioner say that the CCP virus has an incubation period. I started to worry about whether I would have symptoms in the next few days.
That night, I felt like I had a fever. My heart was racing. I tossed and turned and could not sleep. I was afraid that I was hit by the virus. I asked my husband to send righteous thoughts for me. He said: “Let go of your attachments. Let Master decide.”
I tried my best to look within. I discovered many attachments of mine: selfishness, lust, show-off mentality, and jealousy. I tried my best to eliminate those filthy thoughts. I felt a bit better. My husband said: “Isn’t it a good thing that you are eliminating sickness karma?”
I felt relieved upon hearing the words “eliminating karma.” What else did I fear? Did I fear death?
My righteous thoughts and human thoughts were battling each other. I listened to Master’s Fa lecture. I constantly reminded myself to firmly believe in Master and Dafa. My fever dissipated and I fell asleep. I went through a test of life and death.
Master said,
“If you can let go of life and death, you’re a God; if you can’t let go of life and death, you’re a human—this is the difference.” (“Fa Teaching Given in New York City,” Teachings at Conferences in the United States)
After I returned home on the third day, I had a sore throat and began coughing. I again felt that I might have COVID-19. I constantly thought of the practitioner who tested positive. I stood so close to her when we were talking and I also shared food with her. I did not negate these thoughts and my symptoms of a sore throat and coughing became worse. I decided to self-quarantine at home.
Two days later, that practitioner told me that she did an antibody blood test and the result was negative. So the positive result she got from the rapid test was false.
When I heard this, it dawned on me that everything was in illusion and I had fallen into the trap of the old forces.
When a fellow practitioner tested positive, I assumed I would be infected. I did not negate that thought, and the old forces seized upon my loophole and created a false appearance for me.
From worrying about the test result to fearing for my reputation, I was afraid that others thought my cultivation was not solid. I also worried whether I was able to help with the project I came there for.
I was inundated with all these selfish and negative thoughts. Even though I knew that I should negate any arrangement by the old forces, it was easier said than done. When I ran into problems, my thoughts were not righteous enough to overcome them.
Letting Go of the Fundamental Attachment to Life and Death
On our cultivation path, there are many major tests for us. Some face the challenge of transcending worldly understanding of major events. Some had intensive sickness karma elimination. Others may experience a significant financial loss. And there are still some facing the void left by the loss of their loved ones. With each person’s different attachments and cultivation environment, the test will vary as well.
For practitioners in China, they are facing constant pressure of being arrested and tortured at any time. It’s always a life and death test whether they can step forward to clarify the facts.
For us outside of China, we are being tested on whether we can remain diligent in cultivation in a relaxed and comfortable environment and whether we can continue to study the Fa and do the exercises, no matter how busy we are with working on different projects.
While this CCP virus is spreading around the world, the old forces are also using it to test Dafa disciples and interfere with the salvation of sentient beings. When fellow practitioners had symptoms of the CCP virus and some even passed away, isn’t this a test for us to let go of the fundamental attachment of life and death?
When we hear certain fellow practitioners have passed away due to the virus, how do we handle it? Do we feel sad or afraid? Do we waver our faith in Dafa? Or do we look within and improve on the basis of the Fa, not be affected by the false appearance, and continue doing what we should do as cultivators? If we can evaluate everything with the Fa and handle it with righteous thoughts, we will suffer much less loss.
When ordinary people are infected with the CCP virus, as long as they say, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” they will be blessed and recover. But for cultivators, the standard is different. Some may pass the test with righteous thoughts, and yet some have to truly let go of the attachment of life and death in order to pass the test.
As long as one has a firm belief in Dafa and Master and let go of one’s attachments, one will pass the tough test of life and death.
This is my understanding at this time, and please point out anything inappropriate.
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s current understanding meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
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