(Minghui.org) Due to the pandemic, we were locked down for more than 40 days. My life was disrupted. I used to work in the morning and go out to clarify the truth face to face in the afternoon. When I returned home my husband had already prepared dinner. He was laid off so he took care of the housework. He sometimes went out and held a temporary job. He encouraged me to practice Falun Dafa.
Because of the lockdown I had to face various family issues. They looked trivial on the surface, but exposed many of my attachments. First of all, I thought I could not go out so I should have more time to read the Fa. All I thought of was “me.” I found my selfishness.
The second issue was about cooking. I thought that since my husband was laid off and I worked, that I contributed more, so he should take care of the housework. I had an attitude of being better than him.
One day, my husband asked me to cook, but I was not willing. I silently complained and wondered why I should cook when I was home. I did not think about him—that it was not easy for a man to deal with kitchen work every day.
The kitchen was dirty after I cooked, and I began to complain about him. My husband said, “Why can’t you treat me nicely? You are nice to others.” I was stunned and realized that Master was giving me a hint through my husband’s words.
My husband smokes and drinks. Once when he lit a cigarette, I immediately said, “Go outside in the hallway to smoke.” I felt powerful and looked down on others.
We used to fight over his bad habits. Since I started practicing Dafa, I thought I had eliminated this attachment to complaining, but I had not. Since I was usually not at home I did not see him smoking or drinking. When I saw him smoking and drinking every day I felt irritated.
Why did I feel so uncomfortable? Wasn’t this an attachment? Was I behaving like a practitioner? I looked inward and found that I did not have compassion for my husband’s weakness. I knew I should eliminate this attachment, but it took me so long!
One day while we were eating he said, “I will quit drinking.” When I eliminated my attachment he changed. If I did not have this attachment, he would have stopped drinking sooner. Looking inward is a magic tool!
After this experience I could do housework without any complaints. I did not pay attention to small details before. When I saw my husband smoking or drinking, I was very calm and no longer became angry. Actually, my husband was like a mirror. He was very peaceful and did not usually get upset. For example, he commented while cleaning windows, “As long as the inside surface is clean, the ones outside do not matter.” But I cleaned inside and out.
When I cleaned the kitchenware I used a special metal cleaner and cleaned every detail. He said, “It should be fine! You don’t need to clean so carefully!” But I continued to clean. I even went over the ones he cleaned so everything would be perfect. I remember that I once cleaned a wok in the same way. It was already clean but I continued to scrub it. I cleaned it so hard that I wore a hole in the wok and it leaked. My husband pointed out, “You are strong.” This is my attachment. I did not follow the principle of letting nature take its course.
I study the Fa more and more often these days. I read Master’s lectures that were given prior to July 20, 1999. I found many attachments and sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them. I did not feel pain when I meditated for one hour.
I appreciate Master’s compassion! I will definitely eliminate all my attachments.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
