(Minghui.org) My family life was once warm and blissful. My husband was understanding and my daughters were easy to manage. I handled everything at home, and they supported and cooperated with me unconditionally. Friends and relatives were envious of our happy family, and I felt content.
However, things took a turn for the worse two years ago, when I noticed my husband and daughters changed the way they interacted with me.
During our 26 years of practicing Falun Dafa, our family of four encountered many ordeals and hardships. We formed a “one body”: we did the exercises, studied the Fa, and sent forth righteous thoughts together. We made Dafa informational materials, such as DVDs, desk calendars, and stickers. We talked to people about Dafa and the persecution, and cultivated steadily in the Fa.
I thought I had become a new person by discarding many attachments and human notions. I used to be domineering and overbearing, and didn’t want to be criticized. I realized these attachments came from selfishness, and they were the result of the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) indoctrination. I was arrogant and looked down on people, and was disappointed when others couldn’t meet my expectations. I liked to complain and argue, and was resentful. These attachments were peeled away layer after layer. I felt purified once these dirty things were gone. I thought I had accomplished quite a lot.
After all these years, I thought we had all reached different realms. So why was my husband looking down on me and criticizing me in such an emotional and condescending manner? He was not gentle or empathetic about it. I thought he was being unreasonable, had a lot of human attachments, and should improve himself. I thought he was in the wrong.
I asked my daughter, “Do you think I’m wrong? I’ve searched inward for a long time but can’t find anything! Let me know if you see anything.”
My daughter replied with a chuckle, “Who would dare tell you?”
I was taken aback and recalled what a practitioner said, “So many years have passed and you are still bossy!” Her words sounded a bit harsh, but I just laughed it off. I thought I had rid myself of those bad substances a long time ago.
I asked myself, “Have I truly eliminated these attachments?”
Master said,
“So, in your cultivation, you not only need to reach levels in different realms and return to your nature, but you should also get rid of the things you’ve been contaminated with at different times, at different levels, and in different realms—you have to eliminate all of those things. What I want to give you is the ability to reach the purest realm since the creation of Heaven and Earth.” (“Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.”)
I understood that the Fa's standards continue to rise as we, Fa-rectification period disciples, improve ourselves. If we don’t reach the standard of a particular realm, conflicts and obstacles will appear. It is to remind us to look inward for our attachments and shortcomings, so that we can rectify ourselves. We should not be content with the status quo, or looking outward. I was far from the purest state of my true nature!
I discovered that what I got rid of was just some flaws on the surface, such as being outspoken and unreasonable, being stubborn and impatient, wanting to hear praise, and forcing others to do things. Although I was more modest, kind, and righteous, I still talked back as soon as my interests were affected.
My fighting back was the only means to protect myself from outside harm, which was formed after years of hardship under the CCP’s indoctrination. My tainted heart didn’t contain kindness or tolerance, only selfishness and vicious struggles. When I looked within and found a heart that went against the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I realized my shortsightedness prevented me from spiritual improvement.
I was ignorant and complacent about what I had cultivated on the surface. Therefore, my shortcomings were exposed when my heart was touched, because I was still holding onto the root of my attachments. Everyone could see the deeply hidden things that were not removed, and I was the only one in delusion.
I finally found the answer to an ongoing problem. I let go of my selfish thoughts, and instead of looking at others, I wanted to see things from their perspective. I tried to be tolerant of others’ behaviors and broaden my heart.
My environment changed when my thoughts were transformed. My family relationships also underwent subtle changes. We saw each other as a mirror that helped us improve. The Fa principles were like streams of hot spring water that filled our hearts with tolerance and peace. We learned that studying the Fa earnestly, doing the three things well, looking inward unconditionally, and cultivating solemnly were the ways to improve ourselves, and reach a purer and higher realm.
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Category: Improving Oneself
