(Minghui.org) My parents reported me to the police for practicing Falun Dafa, which caused me to become destitute and homeless for a long time, and eventually resulted in my arrest. Thus, my resentment towards them began.
A few years ago, I successfully fled China and came to the United States. Every time I called home, I could not communicate with my parents calmly. I had many questions, such as why did they report me to the police in the first place? I suspected that there were other reasons besides not wanting me to practice Dafa. Unable to get honest answers from my parents, my resentment grew stronger over time.
Through reading Dafa’s teachings and cultivating more diligently, however, I learned that all encounters we experience in this life are a result of our past karmic relationships and the perceptions that go along with them. Any harm caused, although appearing so real, is all illusion because it is nothing more than physical or mental karma projected in this lifetime. When one piece of karma is cleared, that space is cleaned.
Throughout our reincarnations, we have played many different roles in different lives. As a Dafa disciple, as long as I believe that nothing in this dimension is real, I can instantly reverse my attitude toward all negative situations. When I take things lightly and am not distracted by worldly matters, and if I let go of my pursuit in this dimension of the reasons why my parents reported me to the police, my resentment towards them vanishes right away. Whenever my resentment raises its ugly head again, I repeat the process and get rid of it. In this way, I’m finally able to shed the layers upon layers of resentment towards my parents.
Different Perspectives Have Various Effects on People
A fellow practitioner was going through a serious situation of illness karma. After being detained and persecuted for her faith in Dafa for a long time, she had varying degrees of resentment towards people around her, including the police, her friends, and her family. In addition, she often complained to me about the practitioner who volunteered to take care of her every day, and called this practitioner, “dominating.”
“She came to my house and prepared meals for me, but I didn’t even like her food. I think she is very dominating. She came every day forcing me to eat this and that and asking me to do this and that. Now, I try to avoid her, and I am more afraid of seeing her than the police,” she complained.
Her words were harsh and irritating, but considering her situation, I thought it was normal for her to be suspicious of people since she had been persecuted in China.
Unfortunately, this practitioner passed away. It was only after her death that I had an opportunity to work with the “dominating” practitioner on a project. I was surprised to find out that this practitioner was not at all hard to get along with, nor was she repugnant or frightening as the deceased practitioner had described. On the contrary, this practitioner was actually very amiable and friendly.
After experiencing more diametrically opposed occurrences, I finally understand that different people can have different perspectives and interpretations of the same subject, and one issue may have different effects on people. As well, a person believes something is good and important to do, while another may think otherwise.
Understanding My Parents’ Circumstances
The biggest blow in my life was not how I was treated by others but the blow brought upon me by my family. Being the youngest daughter in the family, my parents were the ones whom I trusted and depended on the most in the world, people I looked up to. However, I endured the pressure caused by their frequent fights and arguments. I often did funny and silly things at home in order to amuse them and make them feel relaxed, hoping they would stop fighting. Growing up in that environment, I did not know who I was or how to make decisions for myself. It wasn’t until after I practiced Dafa that my situation gradually improved.
I had been afraid to face the fact that my mother reported me to the police without my knowledge and that my father had her back. Because of them, I was eventually arrested after being destitute and homeless for a long time. I always wanted to find out why they did it to me, and for that reason, resentment was gradually nourished in my mind without my knowing it.
After I came to the U.S., every time I called my parents, it took a tremendous amount of courage and determination. When I later learned that my parents were actually reluctant to report on me back then, I likened this to the fact that the same fellow practitioner could be perceived as “dominating” to one person, but easy-going to another. This underscores that the real reason behind my parents’ action most likely varied with how I perceived it.
Breaking Free from the CCP’s Control
After being arrested, I dreamed that I was left alone in the dark at the bottom of a glacial ocean engulfed by frigid water. I curled up and could only hear my own heartbeat thumping loud and fast.
After I fled China, when passing by the Pacific Ocean one day, I jumped into the icy water to swim. My heart instantly thumped fast and loud again just like before, wailing painfully, “Mom, is that you? Why did you do it to me? How can it be you?!” Wrapped by the ocean, I felt as if I had returned to my mother’s womb—I did not feel cold this time. Lying on the beach, seeing the sun and sea birds, I suddenly realized that the specific circumstances that my parents were under must have caused fear and vulnerability, which gave them no choice but to report on me to protect themselves.
Ever since it took power in 1949, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has been aiming to solidify its totalitarian control over the Chinese people by brainwashing people’s minds and restricting people’s actions. All Chinese, including my parents, are the victims of the CCP’s persecution.
Relinquishing All Resentment
By reading Dafa’s teachings, I enlightened that through reincarnations, we have had karmic relationships with people that we meet in this lifetime, including our family and friends. We must pay back the wrongdoings that we committed in our past lives. Letting go of resentment is like the pain in our legs when we meditate; after sitting in the lotus position for a long period of time, our legs hurt as if needles are piercing our hearts, yet, we know that karma is being eliminated.
Resentment is also karma that the old forces imposed on us at different stages of our lives. Their purpose is to make us fall for their traps to weaken our will to cultivate successfully and save our own sentient beings. It happened a few times when I was sending righteous thoughts, that layers of resentment that had been dispelled, resurfaced as if black waves were rolling in with thick clouds blanketing the sky. The old forces just wanted me to be drowned in resentment to corrupt my mind and destroy my willpower.
Once, the old forces cast grudges into my time and space as bait and then roared, “Look, it’s your biological parents who reported you! They caused you to lose trust in people and now you have to rebuild it today!” I immediately straightened my right hand and sent righteous thoughts to completely eliminate them while proclaiming solemnly, “They are my family members and have deep connections with me. Falun Dafa and Master Li have taught me how to truly trust people!”
The above is my understanding and experience with resentment. Please kindly point out anything that is inappropriate.
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Cultivation Insights
